Can This Be Mended?

Can This Be Mended?

                                                            by Cara Fidler

I was upset. I had just returned home after having an argument with my good friend, Tim. Some harsh words were exchanged that would've been better left unsaid. 

I sat down at the kitchen table in front of my laptop and considered sending him a message apologizing for what I'd said and storming out. But didn't. I was beside 

myself and as much as I wanted resolution to this unhappy exchange, I decided to let some time pass and think about how best to go about patching things up.

The issue was over a woman he'd been dating that I didn't like, and who I didn't see as someone who had his best interests at heart. I saw her as domineering, controlling, and a her-way-or-the-highway type. Ordinarily, I would've kept my 

feelings to myself and not put my two cents worth into the mix. But not on this one. 

I switched on my laptop and hoped that I would see a message from him in my email, but there was nothing. I clicked on the free advice site I answered questions 

on and saw some new questions from posters. I sifted through the usual same old same old like: "My partner has cheated on me multiple times...should I leave?" And, "What do I do if I think my boyfriend is cheating on me?" And, "I suspect my girlfriend is cheating on me and went through her phone and found some nasty pictures. What do I do?" I was hoping for one single question that would help take my mind off the current state of affairs and dispell some of my angst. Here's one: It read: "In over my head...What would you do in this situation? Shoot me a message if you want to talk." 

Ordinarily, I refrained from sending messages to other posters as so many of them were from men looking to make a connection online and I was simply not 

interested. But this time, I said, 'oh what the hell' and replied back: "I'll try to help if I can." 

Five minutes later, I got a reply: "Thanks...can we talk on instant messenger?" I typed okay on instant messenger and asked, ''What's going on?" 

He didn't waste any time and cut right to the chase: "I'm pissed off. Had an argument today with someone I care about. My friend. Not sure what to do at this point." the poster said. Was this merely a coincidence or was it possible that I was on the receiving end of a message from Tim? My heart started beating faster. I 

typed back,"I am in a similar position myself...lol. Small world eh? Tell me more..."

I waited for him to type a reply. Finally it came: "I can't say it..." 

"Try," I typed back, hoping that he would spill it. Ten minutes went by before I received a response. "She said I needed to grow a pair...but in a more 'vulgar' way." 

So it was Tim... That was exactly what I'd said. I decided to play dumb and to not reveal my identity just yet. I sat there waiting for more, but there was nothing. I 

typed, "Okay. There must be more to it than that..." 

"She said some things that really hurt my feelings. I saw a side of her that I didn't know she had. Not sure that I want to be her friend anymore."

I sat there digesting this while feeling a mix of overwhelming anxiety and dread. Had I gone too far? Dealt a fatal blow to our friendship?

I wrote back: "Maybe she, too, regrets saying what she said to you. Maybe if you let some time pass, you'll see things from a different perspective."

He then typed back: "I doubt it. Not sure I can forgive her."

Words I didn't want to hear. I loved him like a brother. I sat there and asked myself what response did I hope to elicit from him, then typed: "What would have to 

happen for you to forgive her and move past this?"

I sat there waiting for nearly fifteen minutes thinking that, from his end, he had lost all hope and that he thought the damage was irreparable. "Don't give up on us...we can work it out." I said outloud, picking up my phone ready to dial his number when I received a message back: "I want her to take it back."

I was more than willing to take it back...that and more. I sat there contemplating whether to tell him that it was me and make amends, or to hold off and go over to 

his place to speak to him in person. I decided to wait. I typed back "I wouldn't give up hope on that possibility...She probably regrets saying what she said and 

wants to apologize." 

"We'll see," he typed. After that, I got up from the table, went into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. Then I grabbed my purse, nearly sprinted to my car, got in and headed for Tim's. I had to try to lay this to rest as best I could. I pulled up in front of his house, took a deep breath. I had a lot of adrenalin pumping through my veins. I knocked on the door and he answered looking like he'd been through a wind tunnel himself. "Hi," I said nervously, "Can I talk to you?" 

"Okay."

I walked inside, stood there facing him, and looking into his eyes, said, "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean what I said..."

"You sounded like you meant it." he said sounding a bit pissed off.

"I shouldn't have said what I said to you...I apologize... I take it back."

He stood there with his hands in his pockets looking at me intently, not saying anything, but looking like he wanted to. "Okay. Apology accepted."

I hugged him. Sweet relief. What a load off. 

"Wadda ya say we go grab some lunch?" he said. And that was that. Suddenly I was starved.