Almost There

Macy rested her chin on her left hand as her left forearm was perched in the sill of the fully open passenger's side window. Loose strands of fire red hair whipped around her face as she hung her head out in the passing wind. She held her right arm out into the balmy air, letting it flow swiftly in between her fingers as they sped down the open highway.

She let out a sigh of content as she closed her eyes and allowed the bright white of a blinding Florida sun to diminish the blackness that lingers behind shut eyelids.

She always loved sunshine; how it made the earth glow and the water sparkle. Back home she would often lay out in it on lazy summer days, letting its warmth blanket her and its light drive away all things cold and dark in both the world outside and the one

within her.

She turned to Oliver as he placed a sun-warmed hand on her knee, the other atop the steering wheel.

"We're almost there," he started, "We can stop somewhere for a quick bite and then find a hotel for the night."

Macy just smiled and gazed at him with wide, happy eyes.

To her, his beauty of both soul and body was something otherworldly. The shaggy dark hair, full pink lips, and the amber eyes outlined in thick black lashes gave him a youthful, angelic glow.

How did I get so lucky? she thought to herself.

She could remember a time when that glow had dulled, when all his demons and the way he dealt with them had hardened his eyes and sunken his face. When the pressures of life weighed down on his shoulders and made it hard to move forward.

One night, he had taken a few too many pills he acquired from a shady friend from his past in an attempt to lighten that pressure, if only for a few hours.

Macy found him unconscious on the living room floor when she got home.

He woke up in the hospital to Macy crying at his bedside the next day. From then on, he swore off the drugs, and slowly but surely, his glow returned.

By that time, he and Macy had saved enough money to finally embark on this long-awaited journey.

They were driving to Florida to purchase a renovated camper van from a salesman Oliver met online. Soon, they would call that van home, and they would travel from town to town across the southern states working petty jobs to pay for necessities.

This would be their perfect life; the only future they could ever see for themselves.

For there was nothing tying them to any one place. Nor could they be tied down anyway. The two of them had always seemed to be carried by the wind, like the soft white puffs of a dandelion on a spring breeze.

"What are you thinking about?" Oliver asked. Macy had zoned out, staring at him with blank eyes and that same warm smile. She took his hand in her own.

"I'm just glad you're okay...that we're okay, and we finally did it. We made it."

Oliver returned her smile, lifting their intertwined hands to his lips and placing a soft kiss on the back of Macy's palm.

"I love you," he told her.

Her smile broadened.

"I love you, too."

***

They arrived at the hotel at around seven in the evening. After they stretched their legs and settled in, Oliver reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle of wine and two plastic cups.

"I got these at the truck stop a few miles back," he told Macy. "I figured you'd want a drink or two after that strenuous ride."

"Strenuous indeed," she replied. They had driven fifteen hours.

As she reached for one of the cups, Oliver pulled back.

"Not yet." He stuffed both cups and the bottle back in the bag. "I wanted to open the wine at the beach. We could catch the sunset."

Macy beamed.

"Oh, that's perfect," she replied.

Soon after, they made their way to the waterfront and unrolled a large sheet over the sand. They sat atop the sheet and cracked open the bottle. Oliver poured Macy a generous amount before turning to fill his own glass.

For a long moment, they just sat and sipped in silence.

Macy had drunk nearly the entire glass as the sun sank low to the horizon, just peeking over the water. The oranges and pinks of the watercolor sky bled into the glittering sea.

Macy turned to Oliver, only to see his attention fixed on her.

"What?" she asked.

He shook his head at the sand, smiling.

"You know, I brought you here for a reason," he told her, his eyes still on the soft ground.

"...okay?"

Oliver reached into his pocket and slowly pulled out a small box lined in black velvet.

He moved from his sitting position to put one knee down on the sheet-covered sand.

He looked Macy in her eyes as he opened the box to reveal a silver ring with a small, oval-shaped diamond.

Macy nearly spit out her last sip of wine as she set the glass to her side in the sand and shot to her feet.

"It's a smaller diamond than you deserve," Oliver began, "but I didn't want to wait any longer."

Macy felt hot tears gather in her waterline as her throat closed.

"Most of the money was put into the van and this trip. But I figured, why not seal the deal before we begin this new life together?" He winked after he said the words, grinning up at her.

A tear streaked down Macy's sun kissed cheek.

"Macy, will you marry me?"

She let out one sob, and then gathered herself.

She could not bring herself to speak, but she nodded once and stuck her hand out for him to slip the ring on as more tears spilled from her brown eyes.

***

Macy drank another glass after the proposal, lying in Oliver's arms and watching the orange sky fade into midnight blue. They packed up the sheet and climbed back into the car to make their way back to the hotel. They held hands the entire drive back, neither of them able to control their bright, excited smiles.

They immediately settled into bed when they arrived back at their room. They held each other tightly as they dozed off in a state of pure, irrevocable bliss.

***

Things felt different when Macy woke.

Before she even opened her eyes, she could feel the difference in atmosphere.

Instead of a plush, soft mattress, she lay on a thin bed lined with what felt like wax paper. Her head pounded, and she felt weak and depleted.

Instead of thick, buttery sunlight streaming through the windows of the hotel, she felt nothing but cold, harsh air conditioning flowing through the room.

And instead of feeling Oliver's warmth beside her, she felt nothing but frigid, empty air.

With a start, she sat up and finally opened her eyes.

In place of that beautiful, peaceful sunshine was harsh fluorescent lighting overhead.

She was alone, in a hospital bed with tubes and wires protruding from her body.

Her head still pounded as the white room began to spin. Nausea tickled at her stomach as she tried to gather her surroundings, woozy off the drugs.

Soon enough, a black-haired, young woman dressed in sky-blue scrubs briskly entered the small room.

The woman sighed with what seemed like relief.

"You're finally awake," she said in a soft, kind voice. "We were becoming worried." She began poking and prodding at Macy and removed the needle from her inner elbow on her right arm.

"How are you feeling?" the nurse continued.

"Like shit," Macy responded. "What the hell is going on? Where is Oliver?"

The nurse's brows furrowed. She glanced at Macy for a split second before turning her attention back to her work.

"You don't remember what happened?"

"No, we were at the beach and then..." Macy trailed off.

Everything was starting to come back to her, faintly.

"Alright, you're still a little dazed from the medicine..." the nurse responded. She couldn't seem to make eye contact with Macy; she looked uneasy, sad.

"Just tell me what happened," Macy retorted. Her voice was harsh and gravelly.

The nurse let out a long, wary sigh as she rolled a round, wheeled stool to the side of Macy's bed. She sat and remained silent for a few seconds, trying to think of the correct words.

Macy remembered then.

The look on the nurse's face told all.

Still, she waited to hear the words. She needed them to be spoken into existence in order to actually believe them.

"Oliver..." the nurse began. "Oliver took a few pills the other night. Do you remember that?"

"Yes."

"Well, um... they found fentanyl in his system..." She still couldn't look Macy in her eyes. "He overdosed, honey."

Macy shook her head.

"Okay. So where is he?"

The nurse just eyed her warily.

"Where is he?" she demanded. "Is he being treated in this hospital?"

"He's in autopsy, hun."

Macy just stared at her in shock.

She could not even cry. She did not feel it yet, the weight of what the nurse had told her... The reality of it all.

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss," The nurse continued. She paused: a short moment of silence.

Then, she went on. "Now, when it comes to you, Macy, we were

hoping you could tell us exactly what happened. We found a large amount of Xanax in your bloodstream. The emergency responders found you unconscious on the bathroom floor after they took care of Oliver's body." Macy cringed at that last word, 'body'. There was no more Oliver... only his remains.

Macy remained stone-faced, still unable to show any emotion.

"Yeah..." Macy began. "Yeah, I came home to him unconscious on the living room floor... He got these pills from this old friend of his... he was going through a hard time."

The nurse stared at her, awaiting further explanation.

"I think I just knew when I saw him that... he was gone," Macy went on, her voice cracking. "I guess I lost it for a second... I took the prescription pills in the bathroom cabinet."

"You swallowed the entire bottle," the nurse confirmed. "You're lucky you left the front door open after you saw Oliver. Your neighbor noticed and came to check up on you guys."

Macy just stared down the nurse with empty, cold eyes.

"I didn't want to live without him. I can't live without him," she croaked.

The nurse gave Macy a solemn look, shaking her head.

"We'll talk about that later," she told her. "For now, I have something I think you should see."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box lined in black velvet...

She opened it, revealing a silver band with a small, oval-shaped diamond in its center.

The tears that Macy could not seem to summon suddenly spilled from her eyes. It all hit her then, and she broke into a wrenching sob.

"They found it on Oliver upon arrival at your house, Macy. Your name is engraved on the inside... I believe this belongs to you now."

Macy just sobbed and sobbed.

They were so close... so close.

But Oliver took his pills, and in turn, Macy took hers. Yet here she was, alone in a hospital bed, alive. While Oliver was elsewhere, no longer a part of Macy's world.

"I'll give you a moment," the nurse went on. She walked to the door before turning to face Macy again. "I am truly, truly sorry, Macy. There was nothing we could do."

Macy wailed in agony as the nurse fled the room.