Psych 101

       Amelia started her familiar routine that occurred with every breakup. She opened up a pint of ice cream-this time it happened to be Chunky Monkey. She considered a bowl but thought,”Why bother?” Amelia inserted a spoon into its creamy surface and headed towards the bedroom with the full container. 

         She turned on her favorite mindless home improvement show that provided background noise as she went over the details of the restaurant showdown. Yet again, she had rushed into another relationship after only a few dates. She had met Daniel at the gym and he reminded her of her ex -husband. After several steamy nights, Amelia began to notice that Daniel had the habit of forgetting his wallet when they went out to eat. After the fourth time in a row of Amelia picking up the tab, she called him out. It didn't end well and she shelled out yet again for the last time. Amelia sighed and polished off the melted remainder. 

        She reached over to her bedside stand and removed the cigar box with the “White Owl” brand advertisement on the lid. Her grandfather had smoked this brand and gave her the empties to hold her childhood treasures. She patted the cover fondly and lifted it up.

          The photographs were disorganized and jumbled in the box. The top ones were of Amelia and her twin, Zelda. She looked at them the most. Happy memories of shared birthday parties, favorite pets, Christmas and first days of school. Amelia caressed the dog-eared corners of their baby pictures and parents' wedding. Ex husband and ex boyfriend pics were next. What could have she been thinking? Amelia pulled out one from the bottom of the heap and her heart gave a little flutter. 

            She hadn't remembered this photo being in the box. It was the image of her beloved Aunt Keri, who died when she was ten. Amelia hadn't thought about her in a long time and her cheeks flushed red with guilt in neglecting her memory . She laid back and fondly remembered now their shared times together. Amelia also recalled Aunt Keri's suicide and  speculated what drove her to it. She had a troubled sleep and was almost late for work the next morning. 

        Amelia's green eyes were brilliant with her fresh tears as she spilled out her tale of woe to her coworker, Denise. 

          Denise said, “I'm so sorry to hear that. Daniel is a selfish rat-faced fart. You deserve better than that. I disliked him but interfering in your love life was none of my business.” She embraced Amelia tightly and patted her back. 

            Amelia pushed back her graying hair from her face and wiped away her drippy mascara. She took a deep breath and started to feel calmer after her emotional outburst. She asked herself as much as Denise, “Why do I always pick such losers? I am such an idiot.”

            Denise said, “ You're a trusting person who always sees the best in people. My problem is that I know most men are jerks but love their company. I've lost so much in my three divorces. In every case, I had more money than them and had to pay out to make them disappear. Why do you think I'm still working at 68?”  With that, she threw her head back and gave a hearty laugh. 

            This made Amelia smile and she said, “ Hopefully I'll catch on before that. Next time, just give me a kick in the rear when I'm being so stupid.”

             Denise asked,” Why don't you visit a fortune teller again? You always seem to do that after a breakup instead of visiting a shrink. My guy is a tarot card reader. He's really hot. You could bring your sister Zelda too.”

            Amelia rolled her eyes that were still smudged with the brown mascara. She continued, “Zelda doesn't believe in any of that crap. Even though we're identical twins, she is such a skeptic while I'll swallow anything. It's kinda weird that she's so practical and is a photographer while I'm the dreamer and an accountant.”

        Amelia gazed into space a moment and said in a decisive voice, “ Give me the psycho's number. I'd trust a stranger with a connection to the spirit world rather than rely on my own judgment right now. I'm that pathetic.” 

       Amelia typed the contact info into her phone and gave Denise another hug before they went back to their desks. At day's end after deciphering a client's handwritten jumble of illegible receipts, Amelia called it quits and made an appointment with “Zenboy”.

         Zenboy answered Amelia's knock, greeted her hurriedly and ushered her into the home office of his Albany brownstone. The combined scents of vanilla incense and citronella candles that were normally used outdoors for bugs permeated the air and made Amelia cough. The walls and ceiling were painted a deep navy and glowed with florescent moons and stars. 

         Zenboy ushered Amelia to a velvet green upholstered chair and pulled it out in a gentleman-like fashion and urged her to sit down. Amelia's eyes adjusted to the dimness as she scrutinized her host. 

          Zenboy's age was hard to read and he could have been anywhere from his mid-forties through seventies. His shoulder length gray hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he wore a black patch over his right eye. His black Grateful Dead t-shirt had a small mustard stain and he gave off a whiff of Marijuana. 

            Amelia suppressed a giggle when she remembered Denise calling Zenboy hot. She had forgotten Denise was man-hungry and almost any breathing male was on her radar. Amelia had to admit he was at least interesting looking with his eye patch and small scar on his cheek. 

        Ever the optimist and always open to trying new things, Amelia hoped Zenboy had some spiritual wisdom to share from the great beyond. 

          Zenboy said, “ I sense you have doubts about my abilities. If you're hoping that I can tell you about a past life, you've come to the wrong place.”

            Amelia said, “ I'm eager to hear anything you have to say.”

          Zenboy lowered his voice and said, “You are very afraid of heights.”

        Amelia nodded her head and swallowed. 

           Zenboy continued, “ It's because you once were an Egyptian queen and your power hungry brother pushed you off a cliff. “

         Amelia nodded again and said, "I've always been interested in the pyramids, pharaohs. and their curses that lasted centuries later.” 

           Zenboy shuffled an antique deck of black tarot cards, decorated with gold gilt stars and planets. They seemed to dance in his skillful hands and Amelia was nearly hypnotized. After a few minutes, Zenboy was satisfied and held the spread deck out to Amelia. “Select a card,” he instructed. 

             Amelia debated and carefully plucked one out from amongst its companions. 

           Zenboy instructed , “Turn it face up.”

         Amelia flipped it over. The card depicted a skeleton wielding a scythe in a garden of severed heads and body parts. The sky was blood red with a brilliant setting sun. “DEATH” was written across the bottom. Amelia let out a shriek. 

           Zenboy grabbed Amelia's hand and gave it a reassuring pat. He said,,”It's okay. You're in no danger. I can sense your vibrations from the card and will convey them to the spiritual world.”

            Zenboy closed his single eye and started to hum in a soft tone. It picked up in volume and intensity until it was almost a scream. Amelia clapped her hands over her ears and swore she saw a bright light flash under Zenboy's eyepatch. He stopped suddenly, leaned over the table and collapsed while resting his head on his arms. Amelia hoped Zenboy wasn't dead. 

         Zenboy gradually recovered while under the anxious scrutiny of Amelia. He took a large gulp of green tea from his Aquarius mug before relating the wisdom he gleaned. Amelia waited with bated breath. 

          Zenboy said, “ You selected the Grim Reaper, which is also called the Death XIII or Thirteenth Trump card. It's element is water, which is associated with emotion and intuition. It indicates a major transformation or an end of a relationship.”

           Amelia's mouth hung open, her eyes grew big and she said in a whisper, “Yes! “

          Zenboy continued, “I saw that your life is undergoing upheaval now. You'll soon get over this breakup. However, the bigger problem stems from trauma in your family that has never been resolved. It is an old wound that dates back to your childhood. I see a woman in her late 30's with a sun tattoo on her forearm. Is the letter “K” familiar to you?”

             Amelia gasped and said, “ It must be my Aunt Keri. She died when I was ten.” Silent tears began running down her face. 

           Zenboy handed her a kleenex and waited for Amelia to regain her composure. 

           Amelia's voice shook as she continued her story. “ She's my mother's older sister. She was the fun aunt who brought me and my twin sister Zelda to fairs, movies and amusement parks. Aunt K let us eat whatever we wanted and spoiled us rotten when she took us shopping.”

        Amelia bowed her head and stared down at her hands. 

       She said, “ Aunt K committed suicide.”

            Zenboy studied Amelia as she wiped her eyes again. 

              Amelia said, “ Zelda and I came home from school one day and Mom was crying. Dad pulled us aside and told us Aunt Keri was dead and she drowned in her bathtub. It was an accident.”

           Amelia paused and took a breath before she continued. 

           She said,” Zelda and I peppered Dad with questions about how that could happen, had she been sick, who found her, etc. He thought maybe she hit her head and drowned. He told us not to ask Mom any questions because she was too upset. That night, Zelda and I put on the matching pair of pink bunny pajamas with feet she had given us and cried ourselves to sleep. A few days later, we went to Aunt K's funeral service at the cemetery. I asked Dad why there wasn't a wake-we're Catholic and there was a wake and funeral for Grandma and Grandpa. He told us Aunt K wanted it that way. 

            Zenboy asked, “ What was the cemetery like?”

            Amelia said,”It was a small family plot from the 1800s located in Clifton Park. Aunt Keri lived in a small two bedroom house next to it. She got a good deal because it creeped out other potential buyers. We had picnics there. Aunt K pointed out  the couple of children's markers in the shape of a lamb and separate stones that leaned in sideways towards each other that seemed united in death. She showed us the grassy spot beside an oak tree where she said she'd be buried.”

             Zenboy interrupted and asked, “How do you know it was a suicide?’

            Amelia said, “ Just before the funeral started, Zelda and I were wandering around the cemetery looking at the markers again. We were behind the oak tree and heard our two older cousins talking. They said that Aunt Keri killed herself and she would never get to heaven because of it. That's why there was only a small funeral service and Aunt K was doomed to live in Purgatory. I let out a small yell and our cousins discovered us. They told us not to tell anyone or we'd all be in trouble because it was a family secret. The service was quick and no prayers were said.  I said the “Hail Mary” to myself anyway and silently asked for her to be at peace. Afterwards, Mom never wanted to hear her name again.”

             Zenboy said, “ You now have the insight you need to start your spiritual journey. Do you want to pay the $100 fee by cash or credit card?”

           Amelia was startled by the abrupt ending of the session and fished out two $50's from her purse. She asked, “What do I do next?”

           Zenboy said, “The answer is pretty obvious. I am only the messenger and the rates go way up if I actually accompany you on your journey. Interested?”

           Amelia almost took the bait but remembered her character flaw of being too trusting and shook her head. 

            Zenboy said, “You're learning already. Come back again when you have problems with your stepson.”

              Amelia said, “Wait, I don't have a stepson.”

            Zenboy only laughed with an evil chuckle and said, “Oh, you will. You will.”

        As Amelia headed up the Northway, she called Zelda and told her about the photograph of Aunt Keri and the strange but powerful reading by Zenboy. 

            Zelda said, “You're always wasting your money on this stuff. Remember when you went to the palm reader and noticed your amethyst ring was missing a few hours later?”

             Amelia said, “I'm picking you up and we're visiting Aunt Keri's grave.”

            Zelda objected, “I'm watching an Ansel Adams biography.”

           Amelia said, “ I'll see you soon.”

        Amelia picked up her grumbling sister and they arrived at the Kinns Road cemetery in ten minutes. It was the day of the Solstice and the sun seemed unwilling to yield its power to the moon. The waning light cast an luminous glow on the small family of tombstones. Zelda snapped several photos trying to capture the ethereal effect. They made their way over to Aunt Keri's grave. 

              As Amelia hoped, Aunt Keri was there to greet them. Her brown hair was lustrous and shining and her eyes were twinkling with the fun and mischief the girls remembered from their childhood. They had no fear and felt only joy. 

             Aunt Keri spoke and said, “ My time with you is brief but wanted you to know how much I loved you both and my biggest regret was not being able to say goodbye. Many people wish they had that last chance to tell the ones they love how much they mean to them.”

        Keri looked gently at each of them and continued. 

         She said, “ I want you to know that I didn't die by my own hand . I was murdered by a man I had dated only a few times. He was deeply disturbed and held me under the water while I was taking a bath. No one knew about our relationship and the police assumed it was a suicide.” 

         Amelia started to ask a question but Keri stopped her. 

          She said, “ I have forgiven him and he is dead now. He had a horrible life of self loathing and alcoholism. I want you to tell your mother, my beloved sister, how I died. People who take their own lives are in deep pain and perhaps should not be judged so harshly. Your mother has her beliefs and may not be talked out of them. Knowing the truth might help her find peace and ease her pain. She carries burden and guilt about my death and needs to be free of it. I love you all.”

         The last remaining sliver of light disappeared and Aunt Keri was gone. Amelia and Zelda walked back to the car. Their raw emotions from the experience kept them silent until they got back to Zelda's house. 

       Amelia grabbed wine from the fridge while Zelda examined the graveyard film footage. Zelda screamed, “Oh,my God!”

          Amelia came running and the sisters touched heads while Zelda pointed to the image captured by the digital camera. It was a shimmering white orb that vaguely resembled Aunt Keri. 

           Amelia said, “ We'll go to Mom's tomorrow and tell her about Aunt Keri. Maybe she'll believe since both of us are witnesses and we captured Aunt Keri's presence on camera. We’ll tell her that Aunt K wanted to give her closure about her death and hoped Mom's silent sorrow would be lifted.”

           The sisters clinked their glasses of zinfandel and sat on Zelda's comfortable chenille sectional. They talked long into the night and Amelia decided to crash there since they polished off the bottle. Zelda covered Amelia with the bright geometric quilt their mother had crocheted. They said goodnight after they performed their almost forgotten secret handshake from childhood. Amelia fell asleep immediately. 

           When Amelia woke, Zelda was frantically throwing her bathing suit, towels, sunscreen and a blockbuster bestseller into a mesh beach bag. Still feeling groggy from last night's events, Amelia asked her sister,”What's up?”

             Exasperated, Zelda said, “I'd nearly forgotten how a couple of drinks could do a number on you. You'd better make yourself presentable because Aunt Keri is picking us up in twenty minutes.”

           Amelia's mouth hung open and she could only stare at her frowning sister. She tried to say something, but the words froze on her tongue. 

           Zelda snapped at Amelia to rouse her from her stupor and said,” I'm never serving you zinfandel again. Your bag is in the closet. I hope you remembered to pack your suit. Hopefully, Aunt Keri is on time because Million Dollar Beach fills up fast.” With that, Zelda retrieved Amelia's bag, shoved it into her hands and pushed her towards the bathroom. 

            As Amelia splashed water on her face, the pieces of last night's surreal crazy dream came back to her and she breathed a sigh of relief. Amelia's hands shook a little because Aunt Keri's death by suicide or murder had been her reality over  a period of hours. 

               When Aunt Keri came to pick them up, Amelia flew over to her and hugged her hard. Aunt K was surprised but gratified at the display of affection and returned her embrace. 

           On the drive north, Amelia told them about her nightmare. Aunt Keri especially liked the part about her suicide/murder. She said,” It sounds like a story on one of those crime shows. Your dream inspires me to patch things up with your mother. It was stupid to argue these past six months over who should have hosted Christmas.”

           After a pregnant pause, Aunt Keri said, “Tell me more about this Zenboy. Is he hot?”