Happenstance

   “So when are you and Christy having one?” Denise chatted on. Her coffee at lunch had recharged her motor-mouth. Danny had stopped listening several minutes ago, not that he ever paid much attention to her rambling. His desk was up against Denise’s and there was simply no escape.

    “Huh?” Danny blinked out of his boredom.

    “You and Christy,” Denise repeated with emphasis. She stretched and tapped her chewed-up pen on the top edge of Danny’s computer screen. “Tell me.”

    “Oh,” Danny cleared his throat. “Yeah. Check. Done. We’re happy,” he answered despite his lack of clarity on the subject matter. He fussed with the knot of his tie. It always felt too tight.

    “Oh, my God! Are you serious? Why did you not tell me as soon as you found out?” she screeched. Danny jerked back in his desk chair, startled by her powerful reaction. It drew the attention of the other phone agents around them.

    “What? What?” Melissa leaned over from the pair of desks to Denise’s left. Danny wondered why Denise and Melissa hadn’t been paired up. The two of them were the biggest gossips in the office. Denise was the talker and Melissa was the avid listener and spreader of Denise’s gospel. Denise was older than Danny by several years, though she would never admit her age. Melissa was much younger, working her way through college if he remembered correctly.

    Danny just wanted to put in his eight hours and go home. This was his sixth job since graduating college. It was hard for him to stick somewhere. Nothing seemed to have the feeling he thought he should be getting from a career. There was never any pleasure, satisfaction, or any sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. He had lost interest in making office friends, participating in office politics or gossip, or company activities by his fourth career switch. Now, he just wanted to check in, do enough work not to get fired, and check out. The plan was simple but people like Denise and Mark complicated things. Mark was their supervisor and also delighted in knowing everyone’s personal business. Any tidbit of information could be used to prove he cared about his employees, used to catch them in a lie, or used to manipulate them. It was only about having an upper hand, and Danny greatly disliked Mark for it.

    “What’s Darling Denise on about now?” Mark was conveniently in earshot. He liked to stroll through the aisles of desks and look over shoulders. Danny had been caught more than once playing games on his computer, which only got him a write-up the first time. Worse, it earned his nickname “Distracted Danny.” Mark had nicknames for everyone on his floor. There was Darling Denise, Marvelous Melissa, Careful Connie, Listless Lisa, Picky Paula, and so on. Mark made it obvious who he favored by the nicknames he issued.

    “Danny’s wife is pregnant!” Denise announced loudly.

    “What?” Danny choked on his saliva. Mark’s hand came down on his shoulder.

    “I guess we’ll have to call you Daddy Danny now. Congratulations,” Mark said with a crooked smile.

    “Oh, Danny! When is she due?” asked Marvelous Melissa popping up from her chair and hopping over in her irrationally high heels. Mark watched her keenly.

    “Welcome to the parent club, Danny,” Careful Connie, Melissa’s deskmate, said without taking her eyes off her screen.

    “Wha-? Wait, now, I…” Danny’s eyes bulged as his head spun around the room. Everyone was getting up from their desks and coming over with their congratulations. His heart was racing. He wondered how to tell everyone it was a misunderstanding. “Denise,” he chuckled nervously, “How did we get on this subject?”

    “My sister’s former roommate from college, her cousin just pumped out her first kid. Weren’t you paying attention?” Denise replied with a shake of her head.

    “Oh, I thought it was the roommate,” Danny continued tensely.

    “Enough about her! Tell us how long you’ve been keeping this secret about you and Christy!” Denise was undeterred. She looked more enlivened by the conversation than from her coffee.

     “Not long at all,” Danny put a hand through his shaggy hair. His hairline had beaded with sweat and he pushed the moisture into his roots. “Just found out,” he held his hands up. “It was supposed to stay a secret,” he added.

    “Well, the whole town is going to know now with Denise in the know,” Mark laughed and winked at Denise. She giggled and rolled her eyes. Danny thought she was too old for such flirtations. Melissa repeated her question. Danny swallowed hard.

    “I-I-I’m not sure,” he panicked. He had given up trying to get out of the lie, but he had no idea how to perpetuate it either.

    “Has she not been to the doctor yet, Danny?” Connie finally broke her gaze away from her computer.

    “No!” he said too enthusiastically. He cleared his throat. “No, she hasn’t been to the doctor yet to do the, uh, the…” His momentary relief was quickly squashed by another loss for words.

    “Ultrasound?” Connie was starting to look skeptical. She tilted her head at him.

    “Ultrasound,” he said slowly, letting each of the syllables linger on his tongue. The word was foreign to him. “Sorry, Christy told me all these things, and I… I’m still just trying to wrap my head around it.”

    “Typical man. Wants to make the babies but thinks his job stops there,” sighed Picky Paula.

    “Well, that’s not true,” Danny protested but he wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t actually made a baby so there wasn’t a need to defend himself. He hadn’t even really thought about becoming a father either.

    Listless Lisa walked by, her shoulders down and in. Her voice was as monotonous as ever when she said, “You’ll make a good father, Danny.” Mark cringed as she passed. If Listless Lisa had been a less efficient worker, Mark would have found a way to rid his floor of the melancholy woman.

    “Oh, he’s a new dad! Give him a break, ladies,” Mark teased. Not that the bachelor knew anything about fatherhood.

    “Are you excited, Danny?” Denise gave him a strangely sympathetic look. She didn't like kids.

    “Yeah, of course,” Danny scoffed. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he shrugged.

    “Oh, you’ll find out why soon enough,” Connie shook her head and returned to her computer screen.

    “What does that mean?” Danny looked around.

     “Parenting is hard work,” answered Paula, returning to her desk behind him. “My kid is three and I’m still waiting for him to sleep through the night. These dark circles,” she pointed under her eyes, “are becoming permanent. I’m tired, Danny, so, so, so tired. Let that be the first truth somebody speaks to you about parenting.”

    “Is Christy staying home with the baby?” Denise asked, digging for more.

    “Well, I… I don’t know,” he shook his head.

    “Doesn’t she have the better paying job?” Melissa asked.

    “Your benefits don’t include paternity leave, Danny. Just so you know. Also, there is no family health plan, just the individual one you already have. What does Christy’s work cover?” Mark inserted.

    “You better hope her insurance covers prenatal and postnatal care. Otherwise, you’ll be paying off that kid for the rest of your life,” Connie chuckled as she tapped at her keyboard.

    Danny started feeling lightheaded. The sweat gathered at his brow again. He blinked at everyone as they continued to offer up advice and information about his fictional child. Their voices mixed together in a cacophony. He barely understood a word. He hadn’t discussed any of these things with Christy and there was apparently much he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he wanted a child now. The sleepless nights, the constant feedings, and all the crying sounded terrible. Exploding diapers? Did he hear that right? Vomit, spit-up, urine, mucus everywhere. Registries for burp clothes, bassinets, blankets, stuffies, binkies, bottles, strollers… The room started to spin.

    “Your sex life is going to tank,” added Paula.

    “Don’t tell him that,” Connie hissed at her.

    “It’s true,” she replied. She returned her attention to Danny. “You’ll be too tired. You’ll have your hands busy with the kid or cleaning up their never-ending messes or your partner just won’t find you attractive anymore,” she frowned.

     “Paula, honey, you’re still gorgeous,” Melissa reassured her.

    Danny went backward in his chair and toppled to the floor, unconscious.

    When he awakened, he was still on the floor, a perfumed sweater under his head. Before he could ask, Paula answered. She was sitting on the floor beside him.

    “You fainted. I guess we overwhelmed you with everything. Sorry about that.”

    “I’ve never fainted before,” Danny rubbed his face, sitting up.

    “First time for everything. I fell asleep standing at the sink once, dishes and soap in hand. Granted, I hadn’t slept in several days with a colicky newborn,” she angled her head pensively toward her shoulder.

    “Colicky?”

    Paula patted his shoulder. “You’ll figure it all out… hopefully. Mark’s upstairs in a meeting, but said you could take the rest of the afternoon off… without pay, of course.”

    Danny felt the forty dollars he wouldn’t make was an acceptable trade for leaving early. He wanted to get away from the office and not think about horrible babies anymore. As he made his way to the elevators, Lisa came up behind him.

    “Nobody told you all the great things about being a parent,” she said. Danny turned around to her, surprised.

   “Yeah, not really,” he agreed.

    “Nobody told you about seeing that first smile, how it makes you warm inside. Their first steps make you prouder than any of your own accomplishments. Or how amazing it feels when they tell you they love you. Your heart feels like it might explode. Or how you could just cry at the sweet way they tell you they missed you. When they reach for you, want only you, and hold you so tight… you feel like your world is finally complete,” her usual uniform voice wavered, her lips quivered, and her eyes watered.

    “Lisa… you’re a mom?” This felt like more of a shock than her making a pleasant conversation with him.

    “Was. Still am technically,” she wiped her eyes. Danny shook his head. “My ex-husband took our daughter in the divorce. He could have taken anything else, everything else, and I wouldn’t have cared. My little girl was my sunshine. My reason for breathing. I have never loved anything or anyone so deeply. He won’t even let me see her. It’s been almost two years,” she answered his look. “I miss her so much.”

    “That’s not right,” he was angry for her. “Lisa, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

    She smiled for the first time since he started his job a year ago. Lisa nodded. “Would you…” she hesitated. “But I'd hate to ask.”

    “Ask.”

    “Would you be willing to write a character reference? For court. Mark won’t write one. Says I have terrible character. The office Eeyore,” she shook her head. “I know he doesn’t like me, but…” she sighed. “It would just be to say that you know me, that I’m honest, hardworking…”

    “That you deserve to be a mom again?” Danny interrupted. Her brow creased. “When do you need it by? I’ll have Christy help me write it up.”

    Lisa teared up and hugged him. The entire way home he thought about her words. Her nickname was unfair. She had plenty of reason not to be perky and smiling at the office. He wondered if anyone had ever taken the time to ask why Lisa always looked so sad. He hadn’t, and now he felt terrible about it. His heart ached for her. Paula and Connie complained about motherhood, and here was Lisa willing to do anything to have all that back. Would Paula and Connie miss their children if they were taken away? He assumed they would. Maybe parenthood had to have the scary, the messy, and the sleeplessness in order to have all that happiness and love Lisa spoke about. He thought it might be amazing to hold his own child and feel that sense of pride, accomplishment, and love. Maybe he did want a child? What would Christy say? She was the one bringing home the bacon. She was the one who awed everyone with her GPA in college, pursued a promising career, and was moving up the corporate ladder. And he was happy for her. He really didn’t understand what she saw in him, but he knew he couldn’t live without her. Everyone told him that marrying Christy was the smartest thing he ever did. He agreed.

    Danny was alarmed to see Christy’s car in the driveway when he got home. She should have still been at work, just as he should have too. He rushed into their little piece of suburbia she had begged him to buy. A cliché parcel of middle-class America that she sustained with her much higher paygrade. He walked through the door feeling inadequate. Why the hell did she want him for a husband? She could easily do this on her own, and easily find herself a better man. Danny heard the toilet flush and the sink run, so he headed toward their bathroom. Just as he was about to knock, Christy opened the door. She jumped back and shrieked in surprise.

    “What on Earth? Danny! It’s the middle of the afternoon!” She looked nervous and Danny started to panic. Maybe she did find herself a better man and he caught her in an affair. No, not Christy. She was too perfect for that.

    “I got sick at work. What are you…”

    Before he could finish asking why she was home, Christy was feeling his forehead, smoothing back his messy hair, and looking into his eyes. “What’s wrong? No fever. You threw up?” she worried. He kissed her. “Oh, you’re going to get me sick too!” she laughed. “You played sick, didn’t you?” He kissed her again.

    “I love you so much,” he said holding her cheeks.

    “I love you too, Danny,” she gave him a curious look. “You sure you’re all right?”

    “I want to talk to you about something.”

    “Oh?” Her face sobered and then worried. “What about?” she tensed.

    “Would you...” He wasn’t sure how to ask. “Do you think we could talk about babies?”

    “Babies?”

    “Yeah, babies. Like you and me and babies,” he shrugged.

    “You want us to have a baby?” She was trying to clarify.

    “I love you. You love me. We’ve got the house. You got that promotion. What do you think?” He swallowed hard.

    “What do I think? About having a baby? You’re serious? You really… We’re really talking about this?”

    Danny couldn’t read her. Christy seemed out of sorts and worse with his questions. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. “You, me, a baby, the circle complete, you know?” He put his fingertips together to make a circle of his hands. Christy’s eyes watered.

    “You want a baby?”

    “If you want a baby, then I want a baby too.” He couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth. Talking about babies had caused him to faint at work but he felt different about it now. The idea of becoming a father was exciting. He was stunned at how badly he wanted it. Christy nodded and turned to reach into the bathroom. She looked up at him, still wearing an uneasy expression, with something in her hands behind her back.

    “Well, I suppose we’re in luck.” She revealed what was hidden in her hands.

    “Are you? Is this for real? It says…” Danny looked down at the positive pregnancy test Christy unveiled.

    “I went out of town for that seminar last month. I forgot my pills. I figured three days wasn’t going to make a difference, I would just pick up where I should have been. And then I forgot all about them. I know, I know, it’s not like me at all.” Tears were trailing down her cheeks. “I didn’t take them this month because my period never came and I just wondered if…. I’ve been so nauseous this week… You’re really… You’re actually happy about this? You think maybe we were both on some sort of subconscious wavelength about wanting a baby?” she laughed.

    “I might have already told everyone at work that you were pregnant,” he sheepishly admitted.

    “You what? Why would you…”

    “Hear me out. It got me thinking about us, about having kids. I don’t deserve you, Christy. You’re so smart and successful at everything you do. And so damn beautiful… I can’t even keep a job. I made it through school by the skin of my teeth. I’ve never known what I’m supposed to do and then I thought…”

    “Oh, Danny, I love you exactly as you are. You support me through every endeavor. You make me laugh. I know you’d do anything for me.”

    “I would,” he acknowledged confidently. “That’s why I want to propose something. It might seem crazy but I thought about it all the way home,” he took the pregnancy test from her and held it up. “What if I stay home with the baby?”

    “You’re serious?”

    “I am,” he nodded. “I suck at a lot of things, Christy. But I feel like I could do this,” he wagged the test. “I’m not going anywhere with the phone company, but you’re going places with the bank. And you love what you do. You’re good at what you do. So, maybe, I do this so you can keep doing that? And then you don’t worry about me, us as a family.”

    She kissed him hard. “Danny, Danny, I love you so much,” she continued to plant kisses around his face. “This is perfect. This works perfectly. You’re really certain?”

    “We’re having a baby!” he beamed at her. She cried and kissed him some more.