The Blind leading the Blind

      Boarding ends in five minutes and we just got through the fucking metal detector. Damn it. We should've left half an hour earlier. I knew this and I told him. I told him. We'll need to get on one of those scooter cart things, if possible, or we won't make it. We don't want to get bumped because we have a connecting flight in Dallas. This always happens. There's nothing I can do about it. I mean, I'm just a dog, afterall. My job is to make sure Joey doesn't run into something or fall down any fucking holes. You know, I spent five years learning how to do that, which is good. I love, Joey and love protecting, Joey. I just wish he wasn't always late for everything. I mean, I've been to three time management classes with him and if I can understand time management, why can't he? Oh, well, so this time, for better or worse (we're married?) he got MAAS which stands for meet and assist. So, Joey's in a wheelchair and somebody's pushing Joey running, which is nice. I like running and Joey never runs. So, the lady's pushing, running, dragging Joey's carry-ons, pushing a button, and talking to someone to try to get them to hold the flight. 

           Then, we get there, but I realize I have to go potty, so I give my master the signal and he tells the lady and we go to the pet exercise area. I go quickly and the lady and I keep running with Joey. Then, we hear the announcement over the intercom: “Joey Marinsky. Joey Marinsky. Please come to gate 35 for your flight. Joey Marinsky, you have five minutes before the flight leaves.”

           The lady says, “Don't worry. We'll make it.” So, her, Joey, and I run as fast as we know how. She's running dragging the carry-on luggage, too, and believe it or not, we make it to gate 35 and the lady takes out Joey's ticket and another lady at the counter scans her ticket and Joey and I get on the plane. The stewardess takes Joey's bag and puts it up on the storage bin. I stay by Joey's side as I'm trained to do. Joey take out his gum from his right pocket and chews. Then, the normal announcements are made about buckling seat belts, oxygen masks, floatation devises, etc. 

           There's the usual announcement: “Prepare for takeoff”. This is my least favorite part. The plane accelerates and my ears start hurting. Then, though, the wings start swinging left and right and something doesn't feel right in my tummy. Dogs have a keener sense of smell than humans and I start smelling smoke, so I start barking at Joey and try guiding Joey so we can both get away from the smoke. Joey tells me, “Hush, Parallel. It's just an airplane”. I give him the poor me dog look, but then I remember, he can't see, so he doesn't know what I'm trying to tell him. Damn it. They should've made me a hearing-ear dog instead. Then, though, one of the passengers notices the smoke and pushes a button above their head. The stewardess comes and asks politely, “How can I help you, Ma'am?” The lady shows the stewardess the flames outside the window and the stewardess goes into the third bathroom. The one without the occupied/unoccupied sign in front of the plane. Then, there's an announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a technical issue and need to make an emergency landing. Please buckle your seatbelts.” So, Joey buckles his seatbelt and holds onto me, so I'll be safe.  Then, a passenger screams, “The engine on the right side is on fire, too.” I smell a lot of smoke. Then, I realize the front of the plane is dipping more frontward, instead of staying flat. Maybe we're preparing to land? Maybe. But, then, we start moving forward, fast. And, like in the announcements, the oxygen masks come down. So, the person next to my master puts on her oxygen mask, they puts on Joey's oxygen mask, and I can't breathe and I walk up to her with my poor dog eyes and she's able to squeeze this mask over my nuzzle, but there's problems since human faces are different than dog faces, but I can breathe. Then, after three minutes, there's a loud bang and everyone's bodies go forward and backward and I'm shivering, but the stewardess directs people to leave their carry-ons and leave the aeroplane/airplane. So, everyone does. But, I feel dizzy and disoriented. We exit the plane and we're in some mountain range. Then, people take out their cell phones and everyone's calling 911. 

*

           In a few minutes, there are helicopters. I smell around and do my business before I'm put on one of the helicopters. But, the helicopter takes Joey to one place, which is a hospital, but takes me to an animal hospital. How am I supposed to do my job if I'm surrounded by dogs and animal doctors? My job is to guide Joey? I mean, I'm fine. Maybe I'll have PTSD, but for right now, I'm fine. I'm fine. But, the vet collects my stool sample, gives me fresh food and water, but then he sees my tag: “Service Animal for the Visually Impaired”.  It also has Joey's name and telephone number on it. I love, Joey, and want to get back to him, but I don't know where he is. 

           Then, it occurs to me. Maybe this was why Joey was running late for the aeroplane/airplane, because God was trying to prevent him from getting on the plane. Now, this may sound mean, but if Joey wasn't blind, he wouldn't have had the MAAS, and he wouldn't have made the plane, and we'd be safe. I'd probably be helping someone who was deaf. Sometimes I don't understand God, but remember, “God is dog spelled backward”. 

           Everyone kept saying the plane would explode, but the news in the vet's office said it didn't explode. In fact, no one died or was in critical condition. There were a lot of people who wound up going to chiropractors, which is someone who cracks a person's neck, but nothing serious happened. After a week at this vet, my master picked me up and took me, to all places, back to another airport. He was able to get both his luggage and his carry-on and we got MAAS again. This time, though, we had plenty of time. He got a wheelchair, he went to the bathroom, I went to the pet relief area, and we waited for the plane to start bording. Then, they called, “Those passengers in need of special assistance” and we both boarded the plane, but something told me this time would be okay. Last time, we were rushed, but this time would be okay.  Either way, I'm going to protect, Joey. I won't go to the vet, I'll go to the hospital to protect, Joey this time. Joey's most important. 

           People think when they go to the animal shelter/dog/cat pound, that they pick the pet, but the truth is, the pet picks them and I consciously picked Joey as my master, because he has a good heart. He's not bright, but his heart is good. That's why I picked him and I love him and he loves me. We're a little family. And family always protects family.