Holy War

Dear Leo, 

Dear lover of mine, whom I am nothing short of indebted to in every way. Please know that soon the world will see the innocence radiating off of you that I’ve always known. My holy martyr, I weep often for you, thinking of you in that cold, dark cell. But the blessed are always punished by weak men, I should’ve expected it. But I thought there would be some evil left in the air for the police to feel, for them to understand it was only in self-defense, only to defeat an evil. I have some things, some pictures, and letters from her, that show what she was becoming. But will the untrained eye be able to see what we see clearly? We have been touched by Him, not everyone can be so lucky, and not everyone can have the Sight. 

I pray every night for you. I pray for Alana’s soul. I pray that I am rightly chosen. I rap my rosary so tight around my hand it welts into my skin. The pain helps me hear Him, mine, or someone else’s, pain is pain. 

But how will we continue our fight? You’ve done well, but God’s work is never done. My dear sister was taken by Satan and could not be saved, only snuffed out by holy hands. But she was not the only one. They are all around, masquerading as men, wearing their skin in a sick mockery of us. I see it in their smiles, I hear it in their laughs, and they know that I know what they are and so they mock me. But soon the world will be cleansed by holy hands. Soon He will return for us. 

Love, Lilly. 

***

Dear Lilly, 

Hello angel. Please remember not to do anything rash without me. That’s what got us into this mess, to begin with. We are lucky you cannot be tried again but my trial awaits me, more tests of my faith. 

I will admit, this cell has made me selfish and all I can think about is how much I miss your warm embrace. You are right about the life between these walls being so cold. But I’m content with my choices, Lilly, do not cry for me. I understand the steep sacrifice that comes with being a soldier in this holy war. His work is truly never done, I understand that. I know god speaks to you but I must be his weapon now, I must carry out his orders. That is my burden, I carry it with a smile on my face.

And you are right about Alana not being the only one. I am constantly surrounded by demonic entities. I agree, they smile too wide, they laugh too loud, and their eyes are dark with evil. But I know I am saved. I know I will be safe, and so will you, that gives me peace. They talk of the death penalty but it’s posturing. They know that is no great punishment for me, I am certain of where I would go after death, can they be so sure? They are successfully keeping us apart, for now, hindering our war. But they cannot win, justice always finds a way, as does love. 

Love, Leo.

***

Dear Leo, 

I would never dream of acting without you. But I’ve given your lawyer proof of Alana’s true guilt. It will absolve you, you are so right about justice. I often feel God’s justice so strongly that my head starts to throb and my hands shake. Your lawyer tells me God is not an adequate defense. A demonic man, but not quite fully possessed, I could feel the fear strike him when he looked over my evidence. He can still be used as a holy tool. 

And you are right about God speaking to me, he gives me orders I cannot possibly follow through on yet. He tells me directly who the demons are, his booming voice causes my ears to ache and startles me from my sleep sometimes. But I have learned my lesson, I cannot act without you ever again. You are my protector, my angel. 

My mother will not speak to me, she doesn’t understand, she has never been steadfast in her faith. Not like my father, I wish he were still with me because I know in my heart that he would understand. When I was a young girl he would tell me about visions, things he knew he was supposed to do. I know now that I’ve inherited it from him, his blessed sight and hearing. He would’ve been a valuable guide. 

But I am so grateful to your family. They think me innocent, and they still love you deeply. Your mother wanted me to tell you she believes it when I say that Alana attacked you. She said you would always be her son, and she’d always be your mother. She said she loved you and told me to write for her, I did not tell her I would already be writing to you. She can’t possibly understand. Your father has a righteous fury within him, I think sometimes that he might understand but I cannot risk it.

I must admit I do miss the girl Alana used to be. I remember braiding daisy crowns and rolling down hills with her when we were young. I remember the flush of her cheeks and the glow of her blonde hair. But I witnessed the change, the stretching of skin, the crunching of bone. The inhuman blackness of her eyes, I can still see them in the darkness sometimes, and I often feel the burn of a metallic smell assaulting my nose when I remember that night. I feel sticky and warm all over, I feel a hollow ache in my chest. An ancient evil killed the girl she used to be. But it is something so beyond man’s comprehension, that it cannot be imprisoned, so you are in its place. 

Yours, Lilly.