The Pendant

It would be my first experience of any meaningful sadness, and the atmosphere in our household would determine my somber mood, and it would be very solemn for many days! The reason would sadly be very clear to this household, because our dear and beloved, Great Aunty, would not bless this earth again, and this unfortunate loss,, for me(‘a young man in his teenage years’) would, unusually see me cry like a baby!

She was a loving and very caring soul, who applied those assets in her many long years of nursing, and her devotion to this job would not allow time, nor the inconvenience from having any man, at home or temporarily by her side!

The only other person that I heard her mention was a person called ‘God’, but “who was this ‘God bloke’, When I was a young boy, I used to think - “when were we going to meet this ‘God’ bloke’?

She unfortunately lived too far away for regular visits from any of us because she lived in London, and we lived in the far SouthWest of Cornwall, but our occasional visits were looked-upon favourably; It used to sadden me, to see, that a retired, hardworking and devoted nurse, who had dedicated her life into helping others, was now confined to a ‘single bedroom upper floor flat’, with a staircase that was so steep and threatening, that it would forbid a safe and daily exit, and she would, very sadly, spend her remaining years confined to that small flat!

Her busiest, and most dramatic time in the occupation of nursing, would be during World War Two, in fact, it would be her hectic and traumatic introduction into nursing, and I think that the personal achievement and satisfaction that she gained from helping others to regain their health and mobility, was the only pleasure that she really required!

When she, very sadly, passed peacefully away, she would leave some of the relatives some little gifts, and I would inherit a very personal and precious item that she treasured, and the thought of it being given particularly to me was thoughtful and intriguing!

I would wear the pendant, despite its medallion size, because it was a St. Christopher, who apparently ‘looks after you whenever you travel’!

I did have many ‘near misses’ though, whenever I did travel by train especially, and during my train spotting days(“life in Southwest Cornwall, in the early years of 1980, could be very dull”!), I used to stick my head out of the train window, and I always instinctively put my head back into the train whenever I felt that another train or obstacle(“such as a tunnel or bridge”) would soon be approaching, and almost immediately something did!

When I eventually gained, both a driving license and a car, my driving skills, over two years, would become ‘rebellious and daring’, and speed limits ‘did not apply’ to my naive brain, which (“as I found out”!) were issued for a good reason, and thankfully I had good brakes, because I survived a few ‘near misses’, and I always thought that ‘somebody must be looking favourably down on me’!? (“please acknowledge that my rebellious driving skills were only ever applied during times of traffic,m build-up, that resulted with lateness, along with those times of frustration whenever I’ve been behind a slow moving tractor, that has held me up for half an hour and made me late for work”!)

I remember one treacherous morning driving to work, which was in heavy snow, and I was slightly late because I honestly thought that the store would not be opening today, because the nearby roads had not yet had any treatment put onto them, but the manager was determined to open, and I very reluctantly, drove twenty miles to work, in heavy snow, and before I was about to turn-off to go into another nearby junction, I applied the brakes to slow down, but instead of slowing down, the car just slid dangerously . transfer my, almost lifeless body, to our local hospital, and from there I was transported, by air ambulance, to a larger hospital in another City, where luck would favour me again, because two Canadian brain surgeons, who happened to be working temporarily over here and with their advanced skills, performed the procedure, that was repairing a ruptured vein that was deep in the centre of the brain and was situated near to the central column of the brain and spinal cord/body, and hopes of survival were not favourable ‘at all’, and both my mum and dad were frequently told to be prepared for the worst!

I would endure an existence of darkness, and a bleak, frightening and personal loneliness, that was eventually blessed with regular and friendly voices! I recognised the voices, but I rather annoyingly forgot the names of who they belonged to (“and to anyone who has the upsetting ordeal of visiting someone in a coma, then I say to you, “please identify yourself first by giving your name”!), and that was very frustrating!

This thick black darkness was finally, and briefly broken by a glimpse of light, which was an orange and artificial light, which I would view during the late evening, to witness two nurses sitting at a desk, and we were all in a little room! I wouldn’t view anything or anyone for many weeks after that!

The next time that I would awaken again, would be when I returned to a closer and, ‘more conveniently located‘ hospital, to our home, and any visitors could now have an increased regularity, “if they wanted it, ‘of course”? My return to a closer location would be about six weeks later, and I could only see clearly to a distance of twenty feet, but I would have the benefit of seeing double imagery, but that became very confusing though after a while and it needed to be corrected over the course of many years!

I was twenty four, when this stroke unexpectedly occurred, and it cruelly snatched my remaining youthful years away, and I was the youngest patient on this stroke ward, that had an average age of about seventy years old, BUT I would be amongst some inspirational, thoughtful and kind men who would try to successfully overcome their disabilities, and please and surprise, both themselves and their families! Some of these men would have experienced the Second World War or National Service, and that was positively shown in their determination!

I had been through a lot of travelling for many different operations, and I had, fortunately, travelled safely by road and air, to now being gently and safely reclined upwards in this bed, to view the other patients and to look out of one of many, big windows. and there, on the bedside table was my St. Christopher- ‘the Patron Saint of Travel’! It had been with me throughout this ordeal, when it could have easily been mislaid!

I feel like my Great Aunt could foresee that I would be in need of this, because she left it specifically for me in her will, and it obviously worked, because I successfully and safely traveled during this traumatic time, to undergo many further operations, and it was unfortunately like having your brain wiped clean of all previous experiences and information, and it needed to be reprogrammed now because I had to learn to read and write again, successfully use a knife and fork to (“after I could safely swallow and eat again after having a breathing pipe installed in my throat and then removed after 5 months, but there would be many experiences that would never be experienced again, such as walking and running, driving a car would no longer be safely possible(“because I suffer with spasms, double vision and poor eyesight”!) and losing that ability affected me the most, because I had spent years in funding and eventually gaining a license, and the ability to drive represented freedom to me(“especially where I live in rural Cornwall”), but now I would mostly live the rest of my life confined to my home! (“at moments like these I remind myself of how lucky I am, to be safely installed in a warm and manageable home, without the daily threat of either War or Famine”!)

I do, rather ironically, travel a lot in my wheelchair and I have had the garden adapted(‘at my expense’) to increase this short ‘stint’ of my exercising /travelling , and to gain some ‘fresh air’. I have had some minor incidents outside, that could have been a lot worse, but my St.Christopher, I feel, protects me and is very precious to me(“not only because it reminds me of my Great Aunty Betty”!)

This item of jewellery hasn’t really got much value, but to me it’s irreplaceable and priceless! My Great Aunty Betty is my Guardian Angel, that I firmly believe that I saw her again when I was in a coma and I was ‘so close’ to death - ‘her movements and reactions had never been witnessed before and could not have been recorded in my brain, and some things that I witnessed have, amazingly, come true! I’m unfortunately seeing though, acts of a disbelief in God, that have possibly encouraged this increase in some evil and sickening activities, because it seems like there’s more evil in this World!

“I wish that my St. Christopher could repair and deter all of the evil acts that we see on a daily basis”!

“God Bless you all”.