Here We Go Again

Here we go.

"The front page of the newspaper," I say, sarcastically. I hate the front page of the newspaper. My interest is more in the sports section and the comics section. My dad doesn't seem to agree.

"Hush boy, this is important news," my dad says. Unfortunately, again, my dad doesn't understand that important is a subjective word and that the front page of the news isn't important to me.

"What? A celebrity couple broke up again? Big deal. You've done that all the time."

He starts to get out his favorite belt from the closet. I'm in big trouble now. But luckily, I can talk my way out of things easily. My mom says I'm as smart as a whip. So, here goes nothing.

"Oh, umm, did I say you...I meant Tru. Tru's done that all the time."

Okay, so I might have not talked my way out of that one very good but Mom always comes to the rescue.

"Breakfast time," she yells.

Thank you, Mom, I say silently to myself.

We walk over to eat and say good morning.

"Now, where was I?" he asks, rhetorically, of course. He is a big fan of rhetorical questions. I don't understand why he likes them, though. According to my logic, all questions should have an answer. Or else it would just get confusing.

"Ah yes," Dad says.

Ah yes, I mimic in my head. I don't wanna get in trouble. I'm already in hot water as it is. I don't want my obituary to read: Cause of death: Burning.

He clears his throat and reads, "According to our president, COVID-19 has finally ended, and life can go back to normal. It is now not required or mandatory to wear a mask, and you can forget about taking the vaccine. The United States of America is free of COVID-19."

"Well, in my humble opinion," I start to say.

"No one cares about your opinion, Michael."

Oh great, here she comes. Bring out the trumpets, it's Miss Cecilia Emeline Prince. She acts like she's the Sun and everything revolves around her. Or there's a one world order and she's the boss of it. She's also a narcissist, psychopath, and my older sister. So basically, she's my kryptonite and she tries to kill me every chance I get. And trust me, it's gotten worse this quarantine. At least it's over.

"Hello, Mother," she says, so sweetly.

"Hello, Mother," I say, mimicking her.

"Stop mimicking me, you little twerp," she says.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "I thought you were mimicking me. You know, cause you're too stupid to do anything else.

"Obviously, the obviously stupid one is obviously you because it's obviously obvious you're obviously mimicking me."

"You sound like Captain Obvious."

"You don't know what life is," she says. She's so stupid she thinks I think the meaning of life is 42.

"Actually, I do," I say.

"What is it then?"

I clear my throat. "What is life but the existence of our existence, for without the existence of our existence, there would be no life. Thus life is the existence of our existence."

I point at her. "Or lack thereof."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!" my sister yells.

"Or lack thereof," I say.

And then, to add insult to injury, I say, "I didn't know you were deaf, too."

She throws her piece of toast at my head.

"Thanks for the free snack," I say.

"Why do I have to have YOU as a brother," I hear her saying as I walk out the door.

......................

I breathe in the air. It's amazing, walking down the streets of Brooklyn without a mask. I go up as close as I can possibly can and just savor in the smell of flowers. It smells so delightful, I can't believe I haven't smelled this in a while.

I walk inside the arcade, checking my pockets for a mask but then I remember I don't need one anymore. I'm free.

I wait in the arcade after paying. The employee on duty looks at me funny. I look at her back. From what I can see, her name is Tonya, she loves Nike's, and her hair is the wildest thing I've seen since I saw a documentary on the Savanna.

"Umm, sir? You paid. What are you loitering here for?"

"I'm waiting for you to give me the rapid test," I say, wondering if she's also stupid.

"Sir...you don't need one," she says. "The government said that COVID is over."

"Oh ya," I say, embarrassed. "Sorry, I just thought-

"It's okay," the lady says. "You're not the first one. Go and enjoy yourself."

"Thank you," I say. I am an idiot, I think to myself. I'm so used to the old routine, I forgot to adjust. I might not get used to the changes, but they're for the better.

*1 MONTH LATER*

The local news station is playing on TV. I want to watch the Brooklyn Nets game but Dad says that I'll have to wait.

The reporter is talking. "The coronavirus cases have surged and so we are going back into lockdown mode."

"WHAT!" yelled my sister. "SERIOUSLY? WE'RE GOING BACK INTO LOCKDOWN MODE?"

"Now, Cecilia, just calm down," Dad says, but it's in vain.

"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE STUCK IN A HOUSE WITH IDIOTS LIKE MICHAEL? DO YOU GENUINELY THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THIS TWERP?"

Mom has to clap back.

"DO YOU THINK I CAN LIVE WITH YOU AND YOUR CONSTANT COMPLAINING? I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU BEING A SPOILED BRAT! I HAVE SPOILED YOU FAR TOO LONG! YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE! YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS! I AM YOUR MOM AND YOU LISTEN TO ME!"

Oh brother, here comes Dad.

"NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE! WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO BOSS AROUND! I DO THE BOSSING AROUND! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE COOKING DINNER?"

"SO YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE IF THE GIRL CAN HAVE HER WAY! YOU SPOIL HER! MAYBE IF YOU WOULDN'T GIVE HER SO MUCH STUFF, SHE WOULD BE A LOT NICER!"

"WELL, MAYBE IF YOU LET ME HANDLE THINGS FOR A CHANGE, SHE MIGHT NOT BE SO SPOILED!"

Here we go again.