The Cause and Effect of Freshly Baked Bread

I squeeze my eyes shut and open them again trying to refocus while sweat is pouring down my forehead and beating music is surrounding me. I wish this was from me dancing my heart out at the club on a Saturday night, where I would have at least had an excuse to feel the way I am feeling. Seeing another girl talking to him cannot cause me this much dishevel, I tell myself. Her glossy blonde hair is just past her shoulders at the perfect length causing it to bounce when she turns. She is dressed in a tank top tight enough to show her cleavage, but loose enough it looks unintentional. However, I know nothing Amanda does is unintentional. Here she is striking up a conversation with David while I am completing my Monday morning workout. 

David is a personal trainer here in a small town called Hamburg, where he trains a variety of athletes, including Amanda and me. He is my coach for the love of God. I need to get rid of these consuming thoughts in my head. I just cannot shake this feeling from last week. It all started from Amanda being her good old, drama-seeking self. When we were younger, she made it a point to talk poorly about me because she felt that would give her the upper hand she needed to keep all eyes on her. It just showed her insecurities. However, the men never saw it that way as they were easily distracted by the physical attributes she threw in their faces. 

This past Friday I was out drinking, catching that perfect buzz where your body starts to feel warm and tingly from your head to your toes. That feeling of careless happiness where you are silently smiling, tapping your foot along to whatever music is playing in the back, and listening to the light friendly conversation taking place. Naturally, David came up in conversation as I was out with some of my teammates. Leave it to Amanda to go on and on about how she is David’s favorite and who knows what else. I have quickly learned the art of tuning out her bullshit. 

I look back down and try to finish the workout set I am on. I consider how this girl can have this much to talk about with David as I painfully try not to stare in their direction. Hopefully, she is not back to her old ways of saying things about me. She was pretty offended when I turned down her offer to hang out this past weekend. But it was an easy decision to turn her away when I was involved in something far more interesting. “Focus, focus,” I whisper under my breath. I take a swig of water and return to working out. 

When this past Saturday rolled around, I wandered into the village of Hamburg to window shop and just enjoy a wonderful, summer afternoon. There was a soft breeze cooling me down to the perfect temperature, as the warm, bright sun beat down on my skin. It was relaxing and beautiful. The village of Hamburg is a circle of older brick buildings full of history and life. In the middle of the streets is a small park area with Irish green, freshly cut grass blowing through the air. Big, beautiful oak trees provide the perfect shade to hunker down under and read a book or just relax. 

I was sipping my cold caramel iced coffee and just admiring the area when I bumped into David. He had his arms full juggling three large brown bags. I caught the whiff of freshly baked bread coming from his direction. I assumed it was from the building next door to us called, “Kelly’s Must-Haves.” “Wow, something smells amazing,” I commented. David agreed, “Yeah I am excited. I have been meaning to try their fresh bread,” pointing in the direction I assumed. I offered to help him carry his bags to his car after he appreciatively accepted the help. As we were about to place the bags in the car, I clumsily stomped forward as I tripped on my own two feet. David’s strong hands quickly reached out to catch me from nearly smashing my face on the side of his car. As we made eye contact, my skin started to feel overly sensitive from his touch. His closeness clouded my judgment as I unintentionally inhaled his scent. This was the moment that started it all. The moment where I could no longer look at my coach without a deep aching desire. The moment that has caused my thirty-minute workout to take an hour.

His eyes were this smoldering shade of blue with hints of yellow and green. The type that makes you never want to look away. Goosebumps ran up my body as I tried to think of something to say, anything that would prevent me from looking like a starstruck fan who had just met their idol for the first time. I could not stop myself. This sudden rush of heat started burning through my veins as I just kept staring. A loud barking dog startled me out of my trance. Damn, David has caught my eye. When I awkwardly laughed and apologized for my uncoordinated self, he simultaneously forced a cough and that is when I realized - it was not just me. He was either unsure how to break the silence or there was a sense of yearning coming from him too. Either way, it would not work, I reassured myself. He is my coach. This is ridiculous. 

David said, “Don’t be sorry. You are the one helping me out, thanks,” as he rubbed the back of his head with his hand, almost reflecting a timid gesture. After we said goodbye, I started to turn away when I heard, “Emelia wait!” As my heart continued thumping in my ears, I turned my head and responded. David then quickly offered while having the courage, “Come over for dinner and we can test out this bread together? I was planning on whipping up a pasta dish too. I have way too much food for one person anyways.”

“Shit!” I cursed under my breath as I dropped a fifteen-pound dumbbell right near my foot. I shake my head as I try to stop teasingly distracting myself from the workout task at hand. Rehashing this past Saturday night will only lead me to trouble.  

I look back up and Amanda is confidently walking toward me heading to a lifting rack nearby to start her workout. I look past her and see David going back to his desk to grab his timer and whistle. “Finally, she is done talking to him,” I tell myself. As I reach for the dropped dumbbell, I hear Amanda whisper under her breath, “jealousy is not a good look for you.” I immediately gulp back my feeling of panic. Is there a chance she knows what happened this weekend? Did David say something? I whip my head up and make sharp eye contact with the man haunting my every thought.