The Gray

 The Gray

“This need drives me, my only driving force. How others have accepted their fate is beyond me!” Ektor exclaims pacing in his study. It is filled with research papers and paintings, paintings he can’t truly enjoy but they serve as a reminder to keep going.

“The Gray” is a term for the loss in the ability to see color. They do not know how or why it happens, only that it begins once you reach the age of sixteen and no one has been spared.

After Ektor’s Gray commenced, he spiraled, fell into a depressive state for six months until one day he declared to be the one to find a cure. In the following years Ektor became obsessed; he immersed himself in his studies, placing all of his art supplies in a closet to never be used again. It has been ten years since his Gray set in and still no cure has been found. He feels society has given up and succumbed to The Gray.

“Ektor, this has gone for too long. There is no cure, it is a natural occurrence son.” Ektor’s father tries to steer Ektor from his research once again. It pains him to see Ektor this way, the once free spirited young boy now a shadow of his former self. It is normal to experience some depressive state but most people recover with help. Nothing worked with Ektor, if anything it only fanned the flames of his new quest to the point his father promised to fund his studies and research. His father later regretted not intervening sooner.

“It will never be enough. How can you accept this?”

“How could I not, how could I not accept this? It is the way of life now, son.”

“Perhaps you’re  a coward, giving up so easily after The Gray overtook your sight father. I am not you! I am not that man!” Ektor says.

“I should have done this sooner, my boy. I can’t help but feel responsible for the hopelessness that has overtaken your life. I’m cutting the funds, next month is the last you will be receiving from me.”

“You can’t do this! This is my life’s work!” he shouts, anger overtaking him.

“I can and I just did. You are a smart man, you will recover from this and you will find a way to live with it.”

Unable to hear his father any longer, Ektor storms out of his study and heads to the park nearby.

“Mommy these are pretty blue ones, can you see?” Ektor overhears a little girl ask her mother, pointing to a bed of flowers nearby.

“That’s it…” Ektor whispers to himself. “That is the answer…I just need to see it from a different angle.”

For the next few days Ektor worked tirelessly setting up a new independent study and with the help of his assistant Claudia they sent out letters to pediatric offices seeking candidates that fit the criteria.

 The first round of children was composed of  twenty-one boys and fourteen girls. After the pre screening only nine boys and eight girls were left.

“Welcome all, " Claudia says to the children and their parents. “Thank you for filling out the final forms today. We ask that you remain in this room. You may watch us and your child through this window, you will be able to listen in as well. Children, please make your way through the door next to me. Any questions from the parents?”

A mom raises her hand.

“Go ahead.”

“Will it hurt them?”

“No ma'am, as we’ve assured you all, today we’re simply taking inventory. We are showing the children different objects and jotting down what they report. As you all know, though all children see colors, some can see a color more vibrant than others, today we’re simply going to determine which group each child falls under.”

After several weeks with the last of the money he had left Ektor rushed his study narrowing down to one candidate, thankfully the funds allowed him to keep Claudia as his assistant which greatly helped speed things along. Ektor ensured the mother and child would feel comfortable during each session. Some of the testing could include drawing blood samples, exposure to intense light before and after the child is asked to observe an object. Ektor would examine his eyes before and after every task.

Ektor was running out of time, he would spend hours upon hours reviewing the information him and Claudia gathered. There was only one thing left to try, it was highly unethical but he was at the end of the rope, he no longer cared, this was his last chance.

Ektor rang Claudia early in the morning letting her know he won’t be needing her today. After the call Ektor starts to prepare the small operating room he’s never used. He’d only ever operated while in another clinic but never his own since he focused mainly on research. He walks to the front desk when he hears the doorbell signaling someone’s arrival.

“Ah, there he is, my star.” He says sweetly to the young child.

“Good morning Mrs. Bert.” 

“Good morning doctor, will it take long today? I have a shift starting soon but I could have my cousin pick him up once you’re done.” she says, eyeing her watch anxiously.

“Well today will possibly be our last session so it may take a while.” 

“Oh wonderful, are you any closer sir, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“No worries, you have both been a great help. I couldn’t do this without you. I’m pleased to inform you I may be extremely close to a breakthrough but I can’t say until I confirm my findings.” Ektor says confidently knowing quite well he is as close as he was on day one.

“You may send your cousin, she can come around eleven, actually 12 today if that’s okay. She can meet me at the back door the same as last time.” He says checking his watch. “I have some food, I’ll make sure Julian has something to eat.” he reassures her.

Mrs. Bert kneels and kisses Julian on the forehead. The little boy has found the testing fun thanks to Ektor and Claudia always making it a light hearted game for him.

“Bye mommy, I love you.” he says and Mrs. Bert leaves .

“Alright Julian, are you ready for today?” Ektor says locking the front door.

“Yes!!” He shouts enthusiastically. “I want to help mommy see her favorite color again!” he exclaims walking alongside Ektor to the operating room.

*

Claudia

After the call from Ektor, Claudia decided to take a rest and spend the day with her cat, Bug. That didn’t last long for someone used to being on the go at all times. Instead she decides to bring Ektor some food and coffee.

“Hey, Bug I think I’ll be back in a bit. I’m going to go bring snacks and coffee for Ektor, he forgets to eat sometimes and the office coffee is trash.” She kneels, pets Bug and receives an indifferent meow in return. It takes her about twenty minutes to stop for coffee and get to the office. She heads straight for the back entrance knowing Ektor hates to keep the front door unlocked.

“Hey, doc. I know you said not to come in but I thought you could use snacks for the day and some co….” Claudia freezes on the spot as she walks down the hall and sees Ektor in the operating room holding a scalpel over an unconscious Julian.

“What are you doing?!” Claudia exclaims once the initial shock wears off.

Ektor turns to her,  eyes wide.

“Claudia. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Ektor, what are you doing with Julian?” She demands. She sets her bags on the floor and closes the distance between them, noticing Ektor had prepared Julian for surgery. 

“This is…this is the only way Claudia….I can’t…This is the way.” he says looking at Julian then back at her, anguished.

“What did you intend to do, Ektor?..Tell me, now.”

“I need to study his eyes…is the only way. I need to detach his eyes for closer examination.”

“Ektor…this is not who you are. You can’t harm this child for the sake of a cure.”

“He’ll recover, he’s healthy.”

Claudia gently placed her hands on Ektor’s slowly removing the scalpel and spoke in a soft tone. “Will you truly condemn him not only to no color but to a lifetime of darkness?”

Ektor’s hand started to shake. He sinks down on the floor letting out an anguished cry.

Claudia kneels down by him. “I think I can help you, Ektor, but only if you stop this now.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re wearing hideous orange pants with mustard colored shoes and a neon pink dress shirt with neon green lines.”

Ektor stares at Claudia as if seeing her for the first time.

“What…what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I can see color and I can help you.”

“You can see color? Why have you never brought this up?” Disbelief, anger and perhaps hope fighting in his expression.

“I’m sorry..it only happened quite recently and I wasn’t sure what was happening. I was afraid I was losing my mind.” 

“How…How, I don’t understand?”

“It just happened, I could suddenly see some colors but it wouldn’t last long, so I kept it to myself and started to keep a log.”

“What were your findings?”

“Well first you need to know that I wanted to tell you but I wasn’t ready.” 

“Go on.” 

“I have been highly stressed lately so I started doing things to calm my restless mind. As a result…I started to see colors…I don’t know how to explain it but I noticed that when I engage in certain activities there was a hum, or vibration in my chest and I’ve seen colors each time this happened.”

“What activities?” Ektor asks, eyebrows raised.

“Something as simple as playing music.”

“But you’ve always played music Claudia…what’s different about it now?”

“I let go.” Claudia shrugs.

“Let go?”

“Yes, I simply played as if I were a kid. I let go of expectations, I just played as I did when I was a child and I saw color. I needed to know for sure before I came to you, I wanted to be sure I truly had something to offer you.” Claudia smiles, tears filling up her eyes.

Ektor stares at her, all the pieces falling into place for him.

 Claudia helped Ektor clean Julian up and get him ready for his cousin’s arrival. She offered to stay and wait for Julian to be picked up. Though he wanted to stay and ask more questions he really needed to go home to do something for himself. 

*

Ektor

Ektor stares at the door he hadn’t touched in years since before leaving his childhood house. His hands shake as he reaches for the door only to pull away  at the last moment. Mustering the courage he tries once more. The door clicks and there he sees all of the art supplies he loved as a young man before The Gray took over. He gently pulls out the cart containing brushes, canvases, sketchbooks, paints and everything an artist could want. His heart aches seeing it all in front of him. He loved to paint and losing his colors had killed a part of his soul. 

Ektor hesitated for a moment, he wasn’t even sure what paint to use but he owed it to himself, to all that have gone and can still go through this to try. To see if what happened with Claudia could be the answer.

He gently tries to squeeze some paint out but after this long he needed to use some force. Luckily his oil paints were of good quality and were in pretty good shape. He laid some paint on his old palette, picked up a brush, dabs some paint on and brushed it on the canvas with eyes closed.

“Don’t be a coward Ektor, open your eyes.” He says to himself a few erratic heartbeats later. It was a disappointing sight. It all looked gray, different values of gray but gray all the same.

“No…Claudia said she let go….how? Ah she said something about being a child.” 

He closes his eyes once again, calling on memories of the times when he used to paint for hours. Remembering how it felt each time he sat down to paint, the way the smooth oil paint went on the canvas, he could get lost in the feel of the brush as he blended the colors. It was like poetry for the eyes and hands. That’s what he loved the most about working with oils over every other medium. There! A strange sensation begins to vibrate in his chest, a quiet hum. Excitement takes hold of him, with his eyes closed he holds on to that feeling extending his arm out gliding the flat brush across the canvas.

A moment later he opens his eyes and the most beautiful shade of blue he’s ever seen covers a small section of the canvas then it quickly changes to gray as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

“I did it. I returned home to you.” 

The End