The Cycle — Lemon, Lime, Mint

Day One

Food diary

One glass water — apple cider vinegar.

One protein smoothie ­­­— organic berries, organic chia seeds, organic coconut milk.

Handful almonds — unroasted, unsalted — not tasty.

One slice dark, rye bread — all natural, smooth, peanut butter — hemp infused.

Two sticks celery — two teaspoons high protein cottage cheese.

Two litres water — lemon, lime, mint — BPA free drink bottle.

Two fish oil supplements

One multivitamin — Vegemite tasting.

Exercise diary

One hour hike up hill and back — air sharp in lungs, feet steady on mossy rock, smell of tree bark — feel alive. Again.

Forty-five-minute hot yoga — still feel hot.

Personal care diary

Bubble bath.

Cleanser, toner, serum, moisturiser, eye cream, hydration face mask, under-arm bleach, eyebrow serum, eyelash growth serum, lip mask, cuticle oil, full body moisturiser, scalp detox gel, shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, hair oil, teeth whitener, floss, Listerine — morning / night.

Sleep diary

Fourteen hours no interruptions — must have been tired.

Daily mantra

I’m stronger today than I was yesterday

Day Two

Food diary

One glass water — apple cider vinegar.

Fresh fruit salad — Greek yogurt, shredded coconut, passion fruit drizzle.

One egg-white omelette — spinach, mushroom.

Handful raw, unsalted, macadamia nuts — stuck in teeth.

Rainbow salad — carrot, cucumber, edamame beans, red radish, roasted kale, pumpkin seeds.

Two litres water — lemon, lime, mint — BPA free drink bottle.

Two fish oil supplements.

One multivitamin —fresh orange juice — disguised taste.

Exercise diary

Morning run around lake — mist rising off surface.

Thirty-minute tennis — versed wall — wall won. Again.

Stretches.

Personal care diary

Cleanser, toner, serum, moisturiser, eye creme, sunscreen, hair oil, cuticle oil, full body moisturiser, teeth whitener, floss, Listerine — morning / night.

Sleep diary

six hours — woke twice.

Daily mantra

I can do everything and anything I put my mind to.

Day Three

Food diary

One glass water — apple cider vinegar.

One bowl protein oats — organic oat milk, organic blueberries, organic honey.

Small packet pretzels — unsalted, dry.

Grilled chicken.

Two litres vodka — lemon, lime, mint.

One carrot

Exercise diary

Walk around lake — stared at water.

Personal care diary

Cleanser, exfoliator, toner, serum, moisturiser, hair oil, full body moisturiser, teeth whitener, floss, Listerine —morning.

Ate carrot to clean teeth. Worked — sort of.

Sleep diary

Fell asleep on couch — time unknown.

Woke three times — vomitted — time unknown.

Daily mantra

Just keep swimming. Head above the water.

Day Four

Food diary

One glass of water — electrolyte tablet — lemon flavour.

One sandwich — white bread, bacon, egg, BBQ sauce drizzle.

Handful Panadol.

Pepperoni pizza — family size.

Two litres cola — plastic bottle.

Two Valium.

One aspirin.

Exercise diary

Walk to door from couch — carried pizza.

Personal care diary

Heavy duty panda eye makeup remover wipes, eye drops, Chap-stick, ice pack.

Ate toothpaste — mint flavour.

Sleep Diary

Sleep, eat. Sleep, eat.

Daily mantra.

I can turn this around. I can turn this around

Day Five

Food diary

One double espresso — whipped cream.

One box of chocolate pops — full cream milk.

Six mimosas — strawberry, mint.

Two lemon margaritas — chilli salt rim.

Five gin and tonics — lime wedge.

Four shots cheap tequila — salt, lemon.

Six swigs Jack Daniel’s — throat still feels burnt.

Two puffs of something — wet grass tasting.

Big Mac meal — large size. Shame size

Exercise diary

Walk to club — 5000 steps.

Dancing — two hours? More?

Handstands, cartwheels — felt free.

Personal care diary

Drank Listerine.

Hair and face washed — hot water — incidental.

Sleep diary

Fell asleep in shower — time unknown

Woke up in shower — time unknown.

Daily Mantra

I’m fine. I’m good. I’m the best I’ve ever been.

Day Six

Food diary

One bottle Gatorade — light blue.

One Red Bull — extra caffeine.

Handful aspirin.

Five cheese sticks — plastic tasting.

One bag corn chips — salsa, sour cream.

Fried rice, lemon chicken, prawn chips, spring rolls, dried chilli beef, money bags.

Half bottle Mylanta — mint flavour.

Six melatonin gummies — strawberry lime flavour.

Exercise diary

Walk to Chinese restaurant— one thousand steps

Personal care diary

[Blank]

Sleep diary

Slept all day.

Woke all night.

Daily Mantra

What’s wrong with me.

Day Seven

Food diary

One warm beer — can.

One block chocolate — white.

One bottle cooking wine — found in pantry.

Half bottle sherry — found behind wine.

One handful bar nuts — salted, roasted.

Fries — onion, bacon, cheese drizzle.

Three vodka soda waters — lemon, lime, mint.

Three glasses whiskey.

Three shots cheap tequila — salt, lemon.

One cup of water -— Styrofoam cup.

Sandwich — stale, ham, cheese.

Exercise diary

Upper cuts, side jabs, back fists, body shots.

100-meter sprint — could have gone longer — dead end.

They got me. Again.

Personal care diary

Licked blood off knuckles.

Pulled lashes off.

Scraped dirt from nails.

Scratched plaque off teeth.

Sleep diary

Rested head on metal bench — head still cold.

Daily mantra

Here we go again.

Day eight

Food diary

One cup water — plastic cup — forced.

One cup black tea — milk powder, lukewarm.

One cup jelly — lime green.

Fruit salad — preserved, syrup.

One biscuit — plastic wrap, dry, crumbly.

One sip apple juice, plastic cup, plastic lid.

White fish — over cooked, lemon wedge.

Instant mash — grainy.

Green beans — soggy.

Two litres water — IV administration — feels cold — feels like mint.

Two Panadol’s.

Two Nurofen’s.

One lithium tablet. Again.

Exercise diary

One lap ward hallway — pushed IV stand — legs shaky.

Personal care diary

Saline solution, Betadine antiseptic, gauze — sterile.

Shampoo — no tears. Tears anyway.

Hair tangled, nails cracked, lips chapped, skin dry, eyes puffy, teeth slimy.

Sleep diary

Woke every hour — noisy, light.

Better than not waking at all —maybe?

Daily mantra

Everything is going to be ok.

Day one

Food Diary

One glass of water — apple cider vinegar.

One green smoothie ­­­— kale, celery, avocado, organic coconut milk.

Handful goji berries — dried, organic.

Carrots — hummus, pine nuts, olive oil drizzle.

Two litres water — lemon, lime, mint — BPA free drink bottle.

Two fish oil supplements

One multivitamin — organic orange juice.

Exercise diary

One hour hike — touched some trees — feel alive. Again.

Five-minute ice bath — still feel cold.

Personal care diary

Bubble bath.

Cleanser, toner, serum, moisturiser, eye cream, hydration face mask, under-arm bleach, eyebrow serum, eyelash growth serum, lip mask, cuticle oil, full body moisturiser, scalp detox gel, shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, hair oil, teeth whitener, floss, Listerine — morning / night.

Sleep diary

Fifteen hours no interruptions — very tired.

Daily mantra

New day. New me.