The Curse of Guilt

(warning, death may be a sensitive topic spoken in this story, along with eerie discriptions)

Eris walked through the forest on the small dirt path. She needed to clear her mind, with the smell of autumn and the sight of burnt orange and yellow leaves, The path was littered with the sound of soothing crunches as she stepped on those dead leaves. The sun was just about to set, making the trees glow and the leaves that were still hanging loosely from those trees shine.

She walked fast, not taking in the beauty around her. Her black straight hair bounced like it was anticipating going back to thinking about him. her light green eyes searched around for something that wasn’t there, she felt paranoid. Like someone was watching her, then again when was he not? Her pale skin itched as she walked.

The leaves crumpled underneath her tall black boots, the light wind made her black jacket swing behind her, showing her plain pink crop top. Her black baggy pants satisfyingly swaying with her legs as she walked. The gray hat on her head mocking the colors on the trees.

No matter how far or fast she walked, she couldn’t shake the memory of his face when he left. His beautiful pale-yellow hair, his bright blue eyes that not even the sky could compete with. It had been nearly two years since he left, but she was still haunted by his blinding white smile while she slept. Haunted by those bright blue eyes every night.

She stopped suddenly, as she saw that old rickety bench her and her friends used to sit at before he died. She hadn’t even meant to come here, she was just…walking. She needed to get out more. She wondered how Luke and Kota were doing…what they were thinking. They hadn’t spoken in months.

She missed the way Kota’s brown eyes lit up when he spoke about dragons and other nerdy stuff, she missed the way he woke up with his curly hair disheveled and messy. She missed the way he wrote his poems that felt like a soft peaceful lake at night.

She missed the way Lukas would smirk when he won an argument, missed the way Lukes brown eyes scowled when he lost an argument. Missed the way he built random things in the garage when he was stressed. She still had the little wooden tree he made for her birthday 3 years ago.

Most of all she missed Apollo. His supportive nature, his way of considering all sides to every story, his way of not judging a single person. His way of keeping the group together, but now that he was gone, no one was there to fill the space that slowly picked at her heart.

The sight of the bench made her heart ache, made her feel nauseous, made her feel the memory of him all over again. The way his slicked back hair fought against the wind on the beach, the way he supported everyone’s decisions without a second thought. the way he towered over her like a gentle giant.

She still remembered the severed hand that was found in the woods…his hand. All bloody and covered in dirt, that’s all they needed for the truth.

The bench, old and rickety, sat on loose rocks next to a running stream of water. The sound calm and gentle as birds softly gossiped in the trees. The sight is completely opposite of her mind and feelings. The space brought a sense of calm and relaxation, as well as the feeling of dread and loss.

She resumed her walk, moving a little faster than before. The path followed the small river. The sound of water rushing over rocks and slight chill of wind calmed her mind, but only slightly. Until the path came to a stop, at the edge of the woods. She’d have to turn back, and turning back meant the sight of that bench again. Even just the memory made tears pool in the bottom of her eyes.

She sighed, turning into the woods towards the water that had small pointy stones poking out from the water. She hopped from stone to stone with such grace, even the swan would be jealous. She landed on the dead leaves, making a soft satisfying crunch underfoot.

The trees seemed to get taller the further she walked. The sky only became darker with each step she took, tiny bright dots started to litter the sky. The bright light of the sun was still visible in the distance, but it was fading slowly. Leaving a bright orange hue with the rest of the sky a dark blue or purple.

She shivered at the cold suddenly hitting her to the bone, but she made no move to zip her jacket up. Instead, she hugged her small form with her arms. Rubbing each arm slowly in a poor attempt to warm up.

She kept a mental map in her head of where she was, she knew where she was going, and how to get there. So, why was she not surprised when she saw that same bench across the stream, in that same welcoming place?

The only thing she was surprised at was the man who sat there. He was tall and slender, with blue jeans that led to the bottom of his black shoes with white soles. He had a black jacket similar to hers, though his hood was over his head, making his features hidden.

Her heart dropped, she couldn’t do this again. couldn’t be reminded of what had happened that night. His crying figure as he walked out the door.

If I had just been fast enough, she thought. If I had just noticed the signs and stopped him fast enough.

The man looked up at her, His pale skin made her body quiver. Those bright blue eyes stared at her, tears spilling out of them. Then there was his bright smile she thought she knew, but seeing this horrific sight every night demented the memory. His mouth was wide with smile as he chuckled wickedly, making her heart beat in her ears.

The gut-wrenching guilt came back as it did every night, making her head spin and her mind race. She put her hoodie over her head with a groan. She’d gotten used to this sight, the feeling and the eerie smile doused in tears. She had started walking away, ignoring the chuckles that slowly became louder and louder in her ears.

She walked and walked, with her eyes fixated at the ground, knowing if she looked up, he’d be behind trees, peeking at her with that same creepy smile. She couldn’t bare to feel that guilt again.

She dreaded the car ride home, dreaded eating with that chuckle still in her mind, dreaded going to sleep knowing she’ll be reminded why this is happening. She never should’ve chosen a gift in the first place, for a gift comes with a curse.

She had thought she could handle being haunted by her guilt, which is why she took the gift of beauty. Clearly, she was wrong. Every night it made her feel like driving over to the bridge, to clear her mind forever. Alas, she never did.

She made it to her small red car after what felt like an eternity. The sky was a dark blue, the lights overhead teased her with their calm twinkles. As she started the car the loud rock music startled her a bit, but it drowned out the ear bleeding chuckles, so she didn’t make a move to turn it down.

The drive through the canyon was long and dizzying. With twists and turns that made her guilt wobble from side to side.

Then she made it to the clearing, where the road lay softly on the side of a mountain and the other side closed off by a small metal fence to prevent cars from plummeting off the edge.

Tears pooled at the edge of her eyes as she sat, thinking about him, as she saw him next to trees, sitting on the other side of the road, in her review mirror. The tears silently fell from her eyes. Her face held no signs of sadness, her mind stood numb along with her face, the tears kept running down her face.

She didn’t react when she suddenly plummeted off the side of the mountain. When everything in her car seemed to fly for a second, when her soft black hair floated upward as if it were underwater.

Her face kept that same expression. She was found bleeding with that same face, she was pronounced dead with that same face, and she was buried with that same face. Even while she lay in darkness, her spirit is still haunted with the memory of him.