Gus's Heart

Gus was thrust awake. It felt as if he had been kicked in the chest. The defibrillator implanted under his skin sent a charge of electricity to the probe within his heart.

It only hurt for a second, but it was enough to awaken him. He gasped for breath and looked around. As always, he was in his room, all alone.

His heart had been failing and there was nothing that could be done. His doctor told him if the defibrillator fired once or twice in a row, he should call the office but if it fired more than twice, he should call emergency services.

Gus laughed to himself. “If this thing goes off more than once, I’m going to be on the floor. I don’t think I’ll be able to call anyone.”

He did not fear death, he knew everyone dies. He did, however, fear the pain of death.

He sat up in his bed. The action of sitting up required him to rest before he could do anything else. After he took several deep breaths, he climbed into his wheelchair. This too took a lot of energy and required him to rest.

Finally, feeling rested, he began making his way out of his bedroom. His first stop was the bathroom, followed by the kitchen.

He laboriously fixed himself breakfast and began to eat. The sunlight entered the room, warmly kissing his pail skin.

He slowly dipped the spoon into his cereal bowl and lifted it toward his mouth.

Suddenly, another shock struck him, sending the spoon and bowl flying out of his hands.

He gasped for breath, gripping his chest. He tried to regain control of his breathing and with some effort, he finally succeeded.

He looked down at the mess on the floor. Discouraged, he felt there was little chance he could clean up the mess. His housekeeper would not be in for three more days and a mess like that would become more difficult to clean as time passed.

Gus wheeled his chair over to the counter and lifted himself to the sink. He collected a washcloth and ran it under warm water. He squeezed the excess water out of the washcloth and stat back in his chair.

He rolled over to the mess on the floor, exited his wheelchair and began cleaning his mess. The task took much effort and caused exhaustion, but he completed it as quickly as his body would allow.

Feeling accomplished, Gus returned to his Wheelchair. He wheeled the chair into the kitchen, returning the washrag, spoon and bowl the kitchen sink. He breathed a sigh of relief.

His relief was quickly replaced by exhaustion. Gus gasped for breath and grabbed for his oxygen. 

He always had an oxygen bottle hanging on the back of his wheelchair but had only used it a half-dozen times in the last couple years.

He began breathing deeply, taking in the precious oxygen his body longed for.

A since of peace came over him as his heart labored less and his head became clearer. He despised having to use his oxygen but there were times it was necessary. The doctor had told him from day one, there would come a time when oxygen would be an absolute necessity.

He smiled, removing the nasal cannula. “Not yet Iron Lung, you’ll not rule my life just yet.”

Gus was surprised by ringing of the phone. He wheeled over and answered.

On the other end of the line, a woman’s voice spoke with concern. “Mister Norman, this is Verna, at Doctor Baker’s office. We just received a notification that your defibrillator just engaged twice in a row. I’m calling, Mister Norman, to ensure you are alright. Are you alright Sir?”

Gus smiled he always enjoyed how Verna spoke, he felt it was a bit quirky, but it was enjoyable.

Gus replied with a hint of amusement in his voice. “Yes Verna, I’m absolutely fine. Thank you for calling.”

Before his could hang up the phone, he heard Verna speak. Knowing if he had hung up on her before she was done talking, she would only call back. He also knew, if he did not answer the phone when called back, Emergency Services would be showing up at his house within five minutes.

“I’m sorry Verna, what was it you said? I missed it.” He asked, holding back as much frustration as he possibly could.

She began repeating what she had previously said. “Mister Norman, Doctor Baker would like you to come in this afternoon. He would like to check you out and make sure you are okay, Mister Norman. Can we pencil you in Sir?”

Gus became more frustrated. He knew, if he did not go in, Verna would just call again tomorrow and try to ‘Pencil him in’ again.

He took a deep breath. “Yes Verna, what time is available?”

Gus heard keys tapping on a computer. “Mister Norman, Doctor Baker has an opening at two o’clock. How does two o’clock sound Mister Norman? How is that for you Sir?"

He replied. “That sounds fine Verna. Thank you. I’ll see you then.” He quickly hung up before she could respond.

Gus dialed the phone. The voice on the other end of the line replied. “Medical Transport Serves Incorporated, this is Dan. How can I help you?”

Gus spoke in with a melancholy tone. “Hey Dan, this is Gus Norman, I’m going to need a ride to Doctor Baker’s office this afternoon. Can I get picked up at one fifteen?”

Dan’s voice brightened an otherwise dreary morning. “Hey Gus! No problem, I’ll pick you up myself.”

Gus responded. “Thanks Dan, I’ll see you then.”

“Okay, see you then.” Dan ended the cheerful conversation.

He hung up the phone. How his life had become so depressing. It seemed like just yesterday that he was unchained by the difficulties that plagued him at this point.

He rolled is wheelchair over to the sliding glass door that lead to his porch. He opened the door and made his way onto the balcony.

The view of the ocean from his balcony was one of the few creature-comforts he had left if the world. And oh, what a view.

Gus rolled over to the rail, reached out and grasped it firmly. He took a deep breath and hoisted himself up to his feet.

He deeply drank in the view. The blue of the sky and water blended so perfectly that the horizon was but a thin line.

He longed to be out on the ocean again. In his youth he had spent much of his time in sailboats with the wind at his back and the sea spray kissing his neck.

He thought, just once more, he would like to be on a boat upon the water. He felt, he would trade however many days he had left for just one, on a boat on the water.

Suddenly, he had an epiphany. Why not? Why couldn’t he have one last trip upon the ocean?

He sat back down in his chair and wheeled himself to the desk in his living room.

He turned on his computer and logged in. with a fever of a man on a mission, he brought up the website of his brokerage firm. He liquidated his entire portfolio and transferred all the funds into his checking account.

Gus looked up the local marina’s website. He opened the tab listing boats for sale and scrolled down to find the perfect boat.

He clicked on the boat and made his purchase. With great satisfaction he shut down the computer. He quickly made his way to the bedroom and packed an overnight bag.

He returned to the computer preparing emails to his attorney and his executor explaining that he would be out of town and would not to be returning.

He scrawled the pertinent passwords on a piece of paper next to his computer. A devilish grin crossed his face.

Gus finished wrapping up a few things around his apartment, carefully keeping an eye on the clock. When the time drew near, he returned to his computer. He patently waited for the sound of the doorbell.

As if on que, the doorbell chimed. Gus smiled, and said, “It’s time!” He hit the send button on his emails and set his cellular phone on the desk next to his computer.

He rolled over to the door and opened it to let Dan in.

The friendly man smiled. “Well Gus, are you ready to go?”

Gus smiled. “I certainly am but I’m not going to have you take me to my appointment.”

Dan looked confused. “If you aren’t going to Doctors office, where am I going to be taking you?”

Gus looked at Dan with a twinkle in his eye. “My friend, we are going to the marina and you won’t need to pick me back up.”