3 comments

Fiction Funny Happy

You like Pi?

Point.

Me?

I really hate pie.

Alot.

Because pie is really freaking disgusting!

Do you want to know why I hate it?

Hard Crust.

It’s just such a dramatic pastry!

Okay, it’s not really dramatic.

I’m being dramatic.

I just really hate pie.

No one pays attention to Pi at all.

They’re always getting distracted by all the stupid pie.

And then I realized something totally amazing!

Maybe they just don’t know how cool Pi is!

Obsessing about pie?

Not Pi?

Pie is gross!

But, the absolute logic and insanity of pi!

Its Beauty and Majesty!

The Circumference and Diameter of Circles!

It’s Amazing!

The Circle’s size really doesn’t matter!

The Greek letter “p”

Pi is Amazing!

Is Pie amazing?

What is the difference between Pi and Pie?

I’m getting confused.

Pie sucks.

It really just doesn’t taste very good.

So why is Pi just so freaking, amazingly Circular!

Ah, I’m doing it again. 

Null.

Getting confused.

I should talk to my therapist about this.

I’m going around in a lot of circles!

I really love Pi!

Perfection!

Pi is the most amazing mathematical formula there is!

Right?

C’mon! Tell me you like Circles!

Unless those circles are filled with nasty filling inside!

It’s a disgrace!

Tell me how much you hate nasty apple pie!

Tell me how much you hate nasty pecan pie!

It is ridiculous!

A Pi should never, ever, be filled!

You should never fill Pi!

Ever!

Nil!

Okay, let’s talk about Pi!

Okay, we need to obtain some circular ratios!

Awesome right!

Zilch!

Let’s look for some circles in the real world!

Hey! That lightbulb looks like a circle!

What about that rock!

No! I told you we’re not using that pie!

Why don’t you understand?

We’re not using Pie!

Let’s get back to Pi!

 Wow, Pi has more than 3.14 trillion decimal places!

It’s infinite!

Strings of Digits!

Zip.

It’s how we understand our wonderful universe!

It helped create a whole new notion of measurement!

Constant.

It gives insight to our world!

It gives us clarity!

Nought!

Oh! I totally see the irony!

Funny, right?

People say I shouldn’t use the word clarity!

I’m apparently very hard to understand!

Super hard!

Aught.

I’m telling you those words are not true!

It’s not my fault no one understands my genius!

Why does no one understand my love of Pi!

Do you know what a wolfram alpha is?

You can use it to calculate Pi!

Not Pie!

It makes knowledge immediately accessible to everyone!

Nothing.

Computable and Accessible!

You can compute anything!

However, I only want to compute only Pi!

It’s beautiful!

The perfection that is Pi!

I love Pi!

I don’t like Pie!

No way!

Nasty,

Disgusting.

I’m only using the first 100 digits

Void.

There are just too many numbers.

I’m getting ready to start over again.

Pi will go on forever if you let it!

Do you see?

Point.

Look!

Can you see Pi?

Watch!

I guess I’ll tell you!

You just need to count all the words!

Count them!

Do you want to start over?

It’s okay if you do!

Pie is gross.

I can’t let you forget.

I don’t want you to think about pie!

I don’t know what’s so special about this pie!

Pi is so much cooler than pie!

It is practically a never ending type of circle!

Eating its tail.

An ouroboros.

A snake.

Going on Forever!

Now do you see the beauty of Pi!

It goes on forever.

Forever and ever and ever and……

Oh no!

I think I did it again!

I forgot myself again.

I do that.

It happens alot.

It’s so easy to get lost in my Pi!

It’s so beautiful!

My Pi!

Do you want to get lost too?

We can keep getting lost in my beautiful Pi!

Do not call it Pie!

Nil.

Just Don’t!

Who cares about your nasty pecan pie!

Who cares about your nasty pumpkin pie!

I am not crazy!

No!

I don’t understand! I don’t understand! I don’t understand!

Why are you looking so fucking confused!

WHY!

Why can’t you listen to me!

You don’t listen! You don’t listen! You don’t listen!

It’s so clear.

You can’t see! You can’t see! You can’t see!

Why can’t you?

Can you see Pi in my words?!

I’m trying to show you!

Understand!

Cipher.

Why are you so blind?

It’s like you just don’t want to see!

The ignorance!

Blank.

I just need you to open your eyes wide!

Will you stop looking at that pie!

Stop looking at it!

Why are you so fucking obsessed with that pie!

It’s just fucking pie!

IT'S JUST FUCKING PIE!!!!!!!

Why don’t we start over.

Start over! Start over! Start Over! Start Over! Start….

I’m sorry.

It happened again.

Nought.

I am sorry that it keeps happening.

I just keep getting lost in the Pi…..

Sorry.

I’m lying. I’m not really sorry.

I like getting lost.

Zilch.

Well, Pi is an irrational number!

It’s true!

So it’s okay for me to be irrational!

Its exact value can’t be known!

Like me!

Null!

Isn’t that cool!

I think it’s cool.

So the Greek word for perimeter is “perimetros.”

William Jones.

He came up with Pi!

Do you see?

I’m showing you again!

It’s beautiful!

Pi.

Ouroboros.

The irrational and beautiful never ending number!

Zilch!

Zilch is another word for zero!

I love all the words for zero.

Do you see? Do you see? Do you see?

You don’t see?

Point.

Oh my freaking God!

Why?

I’m being super obvious here!

It’s in the words! It’s in the words! It’s…..

I’m sorry!

Why do I keep doing this?

I just keep getting lost?

Really, super, lost….

I don’t think that’s normal.

Well, I should probably talk to my therapist?

Okay, truthfully, I’m trying to find a therapist!

I promise…. I’m really not that crazy!

I’m just trying to show you the awesomeness of Pi!

Not that pie!

That Pi!

I can’t stand you!

Why do you keep circling back to pie?

You’re really freaking crazy!

Pi is obviously the superior Pi!

3.1415926535

8979323846

2643383279

5028841971

6939937510

5820974944

5923078164 

0628620899 

8628034825 

3421170679……..

February 20, 2023 03:55

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

3 comments

Michał Przywara
00:56 Mar 02, 2023

I would have been disappointed if this prompt didn't generate at least one pi/pie story :) I shied away from using pi for a sequence myself, because the zeros threw me. Naturally, using actual and varied words for zero is a great work around. Story wise, sounds like we got an argument here between two people who aren't quite on the same page :) Some of it, particularly the insanity parts, reminded me of the movie Pi.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Delbert Griffith
14:27 Feb 25, 2023

Very clever. Each line denotes the next digit of pi. And you use "zilch," "null," and "naught" for zeroes. Very nice. Note: your sixth line, which should contain five words, has six words. Sorry. Nicely done, Erica.

Reply

Show 0 replies
F.O. Morier
19:39 Feb 21, 2023

I love the dialogue - it´s funny. Not only that, but you make it feel as if the reader is eacesdropping. Good job! Love it!

Reply

Show 0 replies

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.