Halloween

Halloween, it was my favorite holiday. The costumes, trick or treating, getting a stomach ache after all the candy and getting scared with your friends. This year would obviously be a little different, after all it won't be me trick or treating. 

My son Mason, he's 7, took mostly after me when it came to Halloween. He loves the holiday more than anything, but he definitely takes after Will when it comes to scaring people. This year he decided on dressing up as a werewolf- not my idea- and Will decided to pretend he was too cool for the holiday and not dress up as anything. 

Will is definitely the most childish person I know, probably more than our actual child, but ever since Halloween last year he's matured, you'd almost believe he's an actual adult. I think he only decided to grow up for our son, after all he needs someone to take care of him while I’m away.  

Marie came over around 6pm with her girlfriend Rose and, to my surprise, they weren't wearing matching costumes, actually they weren't wearing costumes at all. Marie and I stopped doing that when we reached our third year of high school, mostly because I convinced her to force the tradition onto whoever she was dating when the holiday came around, so it's kind of weird her and Rose aren't doing it this year. 

Don't get me wrong I loved the matching costumes with her and if I'm being honest, I kind of wish we would've gotten back into it again when we had the chance, but there comes a point when teenagers go through dumb phases and they think they're too good for something when newsflash- they aren't, and I wasn't. 

I suddenly heard the howl of my 7 year old and saw him sprint down the stairs and right into aunt Marie's arms.

"Are you ready for a night of screams and tummy aches?!" Marie exclaimed, nearly throwing Mason up, she always had a way of making a bad situation sound good. 

"Yeah!" He cheered and laughed and I swear I can never help my smile when he laughs. 

"He's so cute." I mumble, not that anyone actually heard it. 

He got himself out of Marie's arms before giving a quick hug to Rose and running over to stand by Will.

"Can we leave now? I want candy!" He had his pumpkin bucket ready to be filled in one hand and Will holding his other- Mason had a tendency to run off whenever he saw something interesting, which to him almost everything was. 

"Are you all ready?" Will motioned to the group. Everyone nodded and we made our way to the streets of Aptos.

"You know Mason, when your mom and I were little and would visit here for the summer, we had to fight scary teenagers for our candy!" I smiled at the memory, even though we were terrified all night, somehow at the ripe age of 11 we still won, not to mention we got to eat a bunch of terrible candy with our friends. 

"Really?!" Mason replied, tone filled with awe and a little terror. He loved our childhood stories.

"Mhmm! They chased us down three whole blocks before they got your moms candy bag, that's when I hit them with mine and got the bag back, she was so scared." I rolled my eyes at the mention of that specific part of the night.

"I was scared I wasn't gonna be able to eat my candy!." I tried, but I know she's never going to let that go.

"What happened next??" Mason wondered, already invested in the story.

"We had to fight the scary teens and they were about to-"

"Ahem!" Will cut her off and gave her a look saying "Don't give my son the graphic details of how you guys almost got beat up but instead kicked one of them in the “no no zone”" to which Marie replied with a disappointed but understanding nod.

"Uhh but then they decided we were too awesome and left us alone!"

Totally believable.

"Really?!" 

"Yup-that's-exactly-what-happened-100%-true-your-mom-and-I-are-the-best-so-always-listen-to adults!" Marie replied nervously. She may be an awesome aunt but lying was never something she was good at.

"That's so cool!" Good thing 7 year olds can never tell when adults are lying right? 

We arrived at the first house and Mason didn't hesitate to run up to their front door. Rose followed him while we watched him from the street.

"How are you doing this year?" Marie asked Will, it was a difficult time of year for both of them. 

"I'm okay I guess, Mason is too. He still asks about it sometimes but I think he's starting to understand and accept it. I'm still trying to." Will explained, a sad smile forming on his lips as he watched Mason receive his candy.

"That's good. It'll get easier, you know, and until then we just gotta be there for each other." Marie assured, patting Will's shoulder and giving him a small smile before walking up to meet Rose and Mason.

"It does get easier." I whispered, placing my hand on his arm. I saw a smile grace his lips as he looked in my direction before joining the rest of the group. 

The rest of the night was the same: Going door to door, Mason attempting to run off to awe at a patch of grass, and Marie and Will telling him stories of our first summer here and of when we finally came back to live here for good. 

All adventures have to end though, Marie and Rose eventually had to go back home and Mason was definitely out past his bedtime. 

"We'll see you tomorrow buddy." Marie ruffled Mason's hair and got a small laugh in return before giving Will a hug goodnight. 

"Ready for our last stop?" Will asked after the girls had left. Mason nodded vigorously and tried running ahead before Will grabbed his hand stopping him.

"Trust me she's not going anywhere, we can walk." Mason looked a little saddened by the statement but complied, to which Will gave him a sentimental look and apparently decided walking was overrated. He quickly picked up Mason and sprinted towards their destination. 

"Ok... we're here." Will set Mason down and grabbed his hand again as they began walking through what would've felt like a maze if they hadn't been here countless times before, I'm obviously more than familiar with it.

"Are there any zombies here?" Mason asked, moving closer to Will.

"You ask that every time we come here, and have there ever been any zombies?" Will asked, to which Mason replied with a shake of his head.

"That's right, because they know that you would kick their butts if they tried to come at you." Mason giggled, and suddenly he wasn't as afraid of zombies. 

"There it is..." Will and Mason walked up to my tombstone and Will sat down in front of it, bringing Mason to sit in his lap. 

"You wanna tell her what we did tonight?" Will asked. Mason hesitated, but began telling me about his night. I already knew about it, but I loved hearing it from his perspective too.

"-And then when daddy and Aunt Marie passed us Aunt Rose and me jumped out from the bush and scared them and they screamed ‘cause they got so scared. Right daddy you guys got scared?" Mason stopped talking and waited for Will to respond.

"Yup, I think aunt Marie almost cried." 

"She did! And I got a bunch of candy and I'm gonna eat it all tonight even though daddy said I'll get a tummy ache but I don't care ‘cause candy is so good. Do you still eat candy?" He asked me. 

"There's no candy here." I replied. I just wish he could've heard me.

"I bet she does." Will replied for me. 

"That's good. It would be so bad if mommy didn't have candy with her." 

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as Mason continued talking about his candy. I wish I could be there with them, really be there. 

I saw Mason fighting back a yawn and knew it was time for them to leave. 

"I think it's time for Mason to go to sleep." Will whispered, earning a small no from Mason followed by another yawn.

"I know, we'll come back soon though, okay?" Mason still shook his head, refusing to leave and trying even harder to refuse sleep.

Will sighed, before putting his hand over Mason's eyes, shutting them close, instantly putting him to sleep, I swear it's like magic. He kissed the boy's forehead and smiled down at him before looking at me, or in the general direction of me.

"Hey baby." He started, he knew I hated that nickname. "I'd ask how you're doing but I know I wouldn't get a response." He joked, voice breaking. "I don't really know what to say right now. It's been almost a year but I still can't really process it." A single tear fell down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away since he 'never cries'. "As you can tell Masons doing good, he really misses you, we both do..." He stopped for a moment to gather himself before continuing. "Last week he actually took some of your clothes and said he wanted to be you for Halloween, but he kept tripping over the pant legs so we settled on a werewolf." We both smiled at the thought of Mason in my clothes, they looked huge on him. 

I moved to where I was sitting next to them. I ran my fingers through Mason's hair, seeing a small smile grace his lips as he turned in his sleep. I placed my head on Will's shoulder, I swear he sensed me since he smiled too.

"I really really miss you, Dani." He kept his eyes on Mason as he talked. "It's been so hard without you, Marie and Rose are great help but it's not the same. I love Mason but I just wish you were here to help raise him you know? You were a great mom..." Another tear ran down his cheek but he didn't wipe it away.

"Anyways um... we should probably leave, I don't think Mason is very comfortable laying like this..." Will took another look at where my tombstone was, a sad smile on his face.

"I love you so much Dani." He wiped away the tears and stood up carefully so as to not disturb Mason.

He took one last look at my grave before turning to pick a bouquet of my favorite flowers he planted, he always left me flowers.

I know it won't make much of a difference, but I hugged my husband and son and I hope somehow Will knew. 

I think he did.