Claire

  I was coming off a string of bad luck and just kind of wondering what in the hell is the point of all this? I mean, we’re here in this banal existence. Crappy Job. Crappy Life. The same things day in and day out. The only thing that seems to give it any meaning is agony or some form of suffering. Is that why we’re here? To give life a spark by bleeding all over it? To seek cheap thrills until we die? Another hit. Another puff. Rain comes down on me softly, like little kisses on my cheek. I actually like the rain. I don’t despise or mistrust it like I do so many other things in life. Car horns, ambulance sirens off somewhere...I don’t know what I’m doing here other than trying to keep up with my stupid New Year’s resolution.

I step inside and there’s the usual perfumes and fragrances one might expect. It’s a typical bargain store. Clothing. Foods. Rugs. Various knick knacks. An occasional polyester shirt sleeve grazes my arm as I walked around browsing. Then I hear it.

“Sweet vermilion? What the hell’s that supposed to smell like?”

I heard her voice and glanced right to see her, for the first time, sniffing a red candle. She was with a friend. I don’t know why, exactly but I was almost instantly attracted to her. She wasn’t particularly beautiful but I heard her voice like a good song and just wanted to hear more. It was the size of her. I wanted to be around her, to know more about her. Everything just seemed to line up somehow. I casually moved closer, trying and failing to look indifferent.

“Hey you, ‘scuse me…” she said, addressing me. How odd, the tone. Her voice had no trouble drowning out John Mayer’s music in the background.

“What do you think? This smell like sweet vermilion to you?” She smirked. Her friend looked at me with a surprised expression.

I grinned moronically and took the candle, sniffed at it. My attention was mainly on her. I’ve probably smelled more underwater than I did at that moment with my nose over that candle.

“Oh, sure. I mean, I guess so! Heh…kinda fruity I suppose.” Awkward.

The rest just happened with very little effort on my part. We began talking as her friend lingered close by and I wondered how often she did this sort of thing—strike up conversations with strange men.

Her name was Claire. She told me that her and her friend Amy were searching for Christmas gifts for their mothers.

“You got some balls, you know that? Just walking up and talking to a stranger in a bargain store like this. What the fuck are you thinking, man?”

Real people don’t talk like this, I thought. And yet, here she was, ribbing me, jousting, challenging me verbally almost every chance she got. I tried to match her energy but in truth I am a much more subdued personality, which would probably explain why I’m so depressed and why I made this stupid New Year’s Resolution in the first place.

“Me? Hey, what about you? You have any idea how easy it’d be to meet some kinda creep in a place like this? You asked me, remember?”

She was gorgeous but it wasn’t obvious why. Bright blonde hair and dark brown eyes that tried to appear mischievous as she crinkled them into playful accusation. Her body was fine. There was a curiosity about her that seemed to lure me in. She was like some kind of fairy creature or siren.

“Well, you seemed fairly harmless. Besides, I need your help with something.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“You see that guy over there in the rugs and carpets? Don’t look right away!”

I pretended to look towards the entrance and out of my peripheral I saw a big guy with dark glasses and a ball cap looking right at me.

“Let me guess, ex-boyfriend?”

“No, not really. More like an obsessed weirdo.”

“Yeah, look I’m not super interested in getting into a fight over some girl I just met. That guy’s huge and probably crazy.”

“He is crazy…”

“Then why the hell would I want to get involved?”

I began to walk away. She grabbed my arm.

“Wait. Please.”

I looked at her. She was hot, no doubt. But now it was clear—she didn’t like me; she found me useful. She already had some psycho stalking her and now she needed an idiot to fight him off.

“No,” I pulled my arm away. “Look, you’re an interesting person. You have an amazing way about you but you’re also full of shit. You’re Christmas shopping in February, yeah right. And then you see the first moron that you think might be able to distract your ex-boyfriend or whatever and that just happens to be me…”

“You don’t know what it’s like!”

“What?”

“To have some weirdo leering at you everywhere you go. To have guys making sexual advances all the time. To feel like a fucking object instead of a person! You have no idea. It wasn’t like that, ok? I never thought you were a moron but...honestly I did kinda hope you would help me get away from him. You look like you know how to handle yourself. And he’s not even my ex! He’s just some guy I flirted with one time at the place I used to work and he’s popped up randomly ever since. Look...I actually kinda liked you when I saw you. I swear, I don’t usually turn on for people like that and just start a conversation.”

“It’s true,” said Amy. Amy wasn’t awful looking either but she had numerous piercings, a lot of tattoos, and a very loud blue mohawk. She looked like some kind of heavy metal superhero comic book character.

“It really is true. Claire doesn’t usually talk to guys at all. And that’s guy’s a fucking stalker. She already tried talking to the cops about it. You can probably guess how that went.”

It was working. I couldn’t help but fall for it. All I could see was this amazing girl pleading with me and wanting me to help her and I’d be a liar if I said that I didn’t want anything to do with it. She was obviously at least a partial liar but...I mean, I hadn’t been to bed with a woman in almost three years! I’m just being honest here.

“Shit! Here he comes.”

The guy had already made his way across the store and was quickly approaching. He was a big son of a bitch, probably about 6’4” and well over 200 lbs. He closed the distance fast.

“Hey Gineen, long time. This guy bothering you?”

I cocked an eye at her.

“Yeah Gineen, I’m sorry. Am I bothering you?”

She looked defensively at the guy.

“No Derrick, this is my boyfriend...ah, um, T-Trent. He was just meeting us here.”

He looked at me, then back at her. It was difficult to see his eyes but his brows were thick black and upturned in a worried expression.

“That’s not true and you know it. Look don’t give me any shit Gineen. You’ve been dodging me for months now. It’s time you and I sat down and dealt with these problems we’re having.”

“You’re insane. I barely even know you!”

“Yeah psycho boy,” said Amy. “Why don’t you find someone else t-”

Suddenly Derrick quickly moved forward and grabbed Claire by the arm. She screamed. Everyone in the store turned and stared. My New Year’s resolution had been to get out more in the hope of meeting someone, to get out of my comfort zone. I thought to myself “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

I made a tight fist and slammed the first two knuckles of my right hand directly into the left side of his jaw. It was a beautiful shot and his legs immediately went weak. He let go and stumbled. For a brief moment I thought it might be over right then and there. No such luck. He began to right himself.

“Come on Derrick,” I told him. “Outside. Otherwise I’m gonna take your girlfriend here and have my way with her all night long.”

Now, please understand: I am not a brave man. I hate fighting. I used to box but I still don't like fighting. It frightens me. I don’t enjoy hurting people and like most people I do not like getting hit. If I even see two people in a loud argument, I’ll usually just ninja my way out of the area without even being noticed. That’s how courageous I am. But I don’t know what got into me. I was sick...tired of the meaninglessness of everything and there was something about the moment that just reached inside me and somehow pulled out all the crazy I had in there. Suddenly I was John Wayne. Suddenly I was Dirty Harry. My veins screamed with adrenaline!

I looked back after walking two steps toward the door. He had taken off his glasses and was standing there glowering at me. Claire and Amy gasped. His eyes were quite red, as if he hadn’t slept for days. He began walking toward me. I was about to get hurt.

The rain had stopped. It was strangely quiet outside. Derrick came upon me without hesitation.

I boxed for 4 years in the military so I know a few things about how to slip a punch but I had no idea how I was going to take this guy down. He began swinging. He punched hard and fast, trying to do away with me quickly. He missed with an overhand right and I bent low and came up with a hard shot to his liver. Derrick didn’t even flinch. I had already hit him with everything I had inside and right on the button! This was so stupid!

A crowd of people had begun to form. I saw the faces and hated every single set of eyes gawking at me. I could feel them joyfully anticipating me getting the shit beaten out of me. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was almost outside of myself with fear.

For a second I saw Claire staring at me. Her brown eyes were large with fear and a little of what appeared to be hope. Then he got me. I felt his fist clip my ear and I lost my balance just long enough to catch another one right in between my eyes. After that I’m not exactly sure what happened. I was just punching furiously, trying to survive. I couldn’t see well at that point. I needed a way out of this. I knew I couldn’t stand and trade with a guy that size. I screamed at him.

“Derrick! Derrick! Wait!” He stopped.

“What?”

“Derrick I just wanted to say…” I looked at Claire and Amy for a second. “...That you’re an asshole.”

I bent low and slammed my shoulder into his legs with all I had and we went flying backwards into the curb. I could feel his skull hit the pavement. Derrick let out a short yelp and then he seemed to get very weak. I got up off of him, panting. Derrick seemed to be losing consciousness. I was having difficulty breathing. A tall, thin black man walked up to me.

“Hey man, I think you got him. Now you might wanna get to a hospital or something.” He looked very grave.

“W-why? What’s happened to me?”

I looked down. My shirt was spattered all over with blood. My hands were shaking. Claire came running up.

“Holy shit! That was...listen come on. We have to get you out of here before the cops come!”

Amy led me to the passenger side of Claire’s car, an old Honda Accord. As she drove us away I stared at my face in her rearview mirror. It was very red, bloody and the tissue around both of my eyes was swollen. My lower lip had been split open and every time I touched it a great pain shot through me. Everyone was silent for awhile while my heart continued pounding.

“I have to go back and get my car,” I said.

“Listen, I really, really just want to say thank you. No one has ever stood up for me like that before. It was...miraculous...it was fucking incredible!” Her voice trembled as she spoke.

“It’s fine,” I said. I began to calm down.

“It’s fine?”

“Yeah.” I waited a moment. The rain was coming back again. “I think I just wanted to feel alive. Or something.”

She looked at me.

“Look if you could just take me back to my car…”

“There will be cops there!”

“It’s ok. Just...I need my car."

“Look, I understand you want your car but can you at least wait an hour or two? Let me take you to my place, we’ll get you cleaned up and then I’ll bring you back to get your car ok? Promise.”

I looked around. We were leaving the downtown area and it was getting dark.

“Alright.”

“Ok, good!”

A couple more minutes of silence went by. I suddenly remembered.

“So is it Claire? Or Gineen?”

Both of the girls answered in almost perfect unison.

“It’s Claire.”

I nodded. Claire seemed hesitant. She kept looking at me.

“What?" I asked. "What is it?”

“...What was your name again?”