The Way Out of a Troubled Mind

Their eyes glancing around each corner of the room. Their ears wide open to hear the raucous sounds glistening off the walls. The news turns on while each comrade sitting down carves to know each detail.

Caleb calls out my name to inform me how destructive his girlfriend gets. Each word a nag, it’s all about spilling out the clandestine information that tries to stay hidden. Everyone surrounds him as he complains about how his Girlfriend’s OCD hits him. He explains the how and why. A boundless cycle of sentences upon sentences.

I sit next to the river observing the tranquil air and breeze that touches the pores of my skin. I watch the sunlight reflect upon the deep blue ocean and the debris upon the floor accumulate. I try to take pride in nature as well as its wonderful cores when an intrusion suddenly appears.

Caleb stretches out his arms and decides to place his head upon the rusty sand. He starts gabbling about his parents and friends. He decides to go overboard with an endless talk that results in a discombobulate speech of how much pressure they all put on him. He complains about how he does not need their support in anything. I sit there in silence as I watch the waves rise above the surface.

My beliefs differ from the rest. I like the calmness that television and popcorn provide me. I take pleasure in the hot showers that I am truly blessed for. I think silence is invincible and the quote, “ignorance is bliss” remains one hundred percent accurate.

The trees and their elongated branches remain in place. The clouds that hover in the sky and the relaxing smell of coffee as dawn approaches is what makes our world a place beyond beauty.

Hearing others whisper about nonessential nonsense is something I like to stay out of. Caleb decides to remain the antithesis of who I am. He listens to the whispers around the street corners and brings all these incidents back to me. He informs me how somebody in the subway was arguing with their significant other and how another person bragged about how much money they had. He went on and on with the same jargon I did not find entertaining.

I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I loved how the air felt against my skin. It was cold and made me feel refreshed. As I looked around, I saw houses filled with Christmas lights. It was so shimmering and gorgeous. I observed the glistering lights surrounding each house on the block, it was earth at its most empowering moments.

I saw stocks of snow piled up in corners. It was at its stage of melting. I touched it and felt its freezing temperature. I made a snowball in my hands allowing myself to feel every inch of it. It distracted me from any thoughts that may have tried to bombard my brain. Instead, I focused on each detail, it was icy, round, and pressed. It was a magnification of little snowflakes in unification.

I allowed the outside world and its many features to be my outlet. Drama killed the vibe of what was stunning. My mind was a place originally full of violence. The swords cutting through my skull until my body became drained into sucking out its vitality. I instead used nature, and independence as sources to save my soul.

 I used the darkness that tried to take me into a source of accommodation. I pushed away the drama that wanted to make the agony worst. I let the world pass by me taking in the fresh air that I felt in the early mornings. I consumed my favorite meals and engaged in writing down any thoughts that became too overwhelming onto paper. I allowed myself to go for a run each afternoon so that the serotonin in my brain would increase impacting my overall well-being. I allowed sublimation to be a healing recourse.

Each time Caleb came into the picture he dragged things into a mess. He complained about some rational people that I have met in my lifetime. He brings upon an itch to my body that slowly breaks me down. He blabs about how cantankerous his mother is. Yet when I meet her, she gives him the world. She hands him money and took him in even though he could not resist drugs exploding each organ in his body. He takes advantage of kindness and is blind to the light in front of him.

I watch Caleb’s depression drown right into hell. This makes me want to do something for him but at the same time not be dragged into his distorted reality. I walk towards him and pat him on the back. I want to make sure he listens to what can bring him joy in times of weakness. I want to save him from making the mistake of projecting his own struggle with toxic substances onto naive individuals.

I take him right to the spot that saved me from drowning. It was the place that helped me overcome the torture that tore me away from the inevitable suffering I felt gnawing at every inch of my body. A place that was my helping center away from the cynical universe that tried its best to trap me right into its black hole.

It was that gazebo right inside the park with the stunning lights surrounding it. The one place that I could reflect on and contemplate with great silence. Here I drank my warm cup of coffee and watched the children play. The giddy laughter and the soothing vibe that hit me each time I stepped foot in a heavenly break from the insanity that drove me into vanishment.

Caleb held my hand and embraced this as a moment of mindfulness. He allowed the breeze to rest upon his neck and took joy in the stupendous lights that glowed in the twilight. He allowed nature to take its course and never felt more content.