Blindin' Blindout

Blindin' Blindout

I'm not sure what happened last night. I'm not even sure where I am, in fact. This is not my bed, and it is certainly not a room I've been in my life ever before -I can feel it. It puzzles me that I can't see anything at all, not even the faintest light from the street. I am literally plunged into the darkness, and I'm starting to feel seriously uneasy. What the heck is going on? 

I just don't understand. Why is my head aching so much? Ok, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and try to think, Susie. You met this strange guy at the bar -yes, yes, that's right! That, I remember! He was wearing dark sunglasses which you found really weird a thing to do indoors, especially at night. He couldn't stop smiling. You were not sure whether he was smiling at you or the girl sitting at the table beside you. He just would never stare at you, unlike most other guys you've met. Right, right, getting there. But then what?   

I hear footsteps nearby. Oh, no. I need to grab my phone and get out of here immediately. I lean forward and feel the hard, cold wood of what seems to be a bedside table. Maybe I've left my phone on it. I feel for it but end up hitting a pile of books that falls to the floor with a loud bang. Super discrete, Susie, great job! It's right there, I can feel the rose-shaped crack on the screen under my fingertips. At least I'm gonna be able to check the time and even get to call someone to get me out of here!

I push the button on the side, but nothing comes up on the screen. No light, no time, no nothing at all. Don't tell me it's out of charge, now! I think I'm gonna have a panic attack. The footsteps are just a little distance away now. I swallow hard.

"Hey, you're up! Wow, don't you look stunning."

That voice -it is this guy I met at the bar! Oh god, what did I do? I try to get up but I lose my balance and fall right back on the bed. 

"Hey, hey, take it easy, darling. It's gonna take you a while to get used to it. Take your time. No one's going anywhere today."

Oh my God! This is a nightmare! How did I get myself into this?

"Where the hell am I? And who are you?" I snap. 

The man laughs kindly. 

"So you don't remember anything, huh?" 

His boots stomp heavily on the floor as he makes his way to the bed. I am petrified. I feel him sit next to me. He places his hand gently on mine.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Susie. Last night we just played a little game. You were curious about what it felt to be blind, and we just exchanged the roles for one day. That's all."

Ok, this is mad. I think I'm definitely gonna faint now. I don't know where I find the strength to yell at him instead.

"Are you freaking kidding me? That's all? You've got me blind, dude!" 

"Wow, wow, wow, let's take a step back, shall we?" the man says calmly. "Everything will be back to normal tomorrow, I promise. But for now you're stuck in this state, exactly as you asked. I'll help you if you let me."

His hand feels warm and reassuring on mine. I touch my forehead that still feels like a hundred degrees. He's right -I do remember now. I also remember how insistent he was for me to describe exactly what the place looked like as he held on to his stick last night. How he patiently explained he came regularly to the bar because he could feel the walls literally vibrate while the band played, how he absorbed people's energy and excitement as they gathered with people they cared for, and that what he loved most of all was trying to guess what they had ordered off the menu just by inhaling the flavours that came from the plates as the waiters came and went. But what he had never managed to do was to paint the place in his mind, and how he would be eternally grateful to whoever would one day take the time to try, just for him, just for that night. And I had been this amazing stranger, he said. I had, he claimed, not only done it beautifully, but also seemed to have become so emotional as I did so, so fascinated by the whole thing, that I had wanted to give it a try myself. To feel what it felt like to rely on all your other senses. To feel truly human deep inside. And it turned out, he had this one pill a friend from Jamaica had given him years ago. A pill that would allow him to see for just twenty-four hours, if only a stranger who was not visually impaired decided to trade their vision with him. I remembered all of it so vividly, now. 

I smile at him. 

"So how come I can tell it's daylight, then?"

"Because we may not see shapes and colours, but we can perceive light. That's just the way it is."

There's a serene silence between us. I try to let it all sink in. It is strange how much I can tell about the room, and about this guy, without being able to see them at all. I can feel how close the walls are next to the bed. I already know where the bedside table is, and how small the bed is. How the soft the freshly cleaned linen feels in my hands. That he reads old hardback books that seem to have belonged to people from generations before ours. What must it be like to read when you can't see? I'm pretty sure someone's cooking jerk chicken in the next room. Someone who certainly knows how to cook. His mom, perhaps? 

He chuckles. 

"Smells good, huh?"

"It does," I say with a grin. I am not sure whether I am even smiling right at him, but I know he can see me. It fills my heart with joy just thinking about it.

"So, it must be quite an experience for you, too, huh?"   

He sighs deeply. 

"You just have no idea. This is magical."

I take a moment to think. It seems like I don't have much of a choice anyway. How many times in my life will I get the chance to do that for a stranger, and for myself? 

"So...wanna give it a try?" he asks sheepishly.

I giggle like a little girl, putting my other hand on his. 

"You got it."

By Marie-Camille Grangier