The Bucket List Runner

Warning: Discussion of Breast Cancer

Lisa balances on one foot and pulls the other one behind her grasping onto her electric blue tennis shoes.  She feels the stretch on top of her thigh.  She holds it there for a bit and then lets her foot go and does the same with the other one.  She crouched on one foot, leaving the other foot on the ground, and felt the stretch on her inner thigh.  She switches her position again so she is crouched on the other foot.  Her orange pants were a little obnoxious, but Lisa didn’t care.  

The morning was frosty.  There was possibly rain today, but the race was happening.  Rain or shine.  

This race was number three on Lisa’s bucket list, and it was this bucket list that kept her going.  The list that helped her put one foot in front of the other.  So far, she had visited the Grand Canyon and eaten lamb.  Neither particularly ‘wowed’ her, but that was her plan, baby steps.   After eating lamb was a half marathon.  She was not sure she could handle a full marathon, but half was possible.

What started the bucket list?  She was now in remission from breast cancer.  Which meant she had another chance at life and this life she was not going to be wasted.  Before breast cancer, she was a stay-at-home mom.  She would clean, cook, help the kids with their homework, take them to practice, give advice, and do anything else a child could want.  When they grew up and started having families of their own, Lisa found herself sitting on the couch and snacking on popcorn and beef jerky all day. Even the cleaning had come to a halt.  There was no need without the three children to mess up the house.  She would still make dinner for her husband Dan every day, but they subscribed to Blue Apron.  There wasn’t much to do.  

That was until she got a routine mammogram.  It seemed normal at first, but there was a small area that was “likely nothing.”  When she got the “likely nothing” biopsied, it turned from “likely nothing” to “likely something.” That was when she began living her life differently.

It was a series of long doctor visits, days of not knowing anything, and hours on end in chemo rooms.  It seemed as though she was only living for cancer. So, when she went into remission, she decided she was done with her previous days. 

Lisa put her hands in her puffy pink jacket pocket.  The air was too brisk to leave them out in the open air.  She jogged up and down to thaw her icicles for feet, but stopped in fear that she would exhaust herself before the race even started.

Then came the announcement over the loudspeaker, “Please line up.  We will be starting in ten minutes.  I repeat, we will be starting in ten minutes.”

Lisa ran the flat four-mile path behind their suburban house nearly every day.  Along with making dinner, it was her only regular activity.  So, when her friend, Carol, suggested she made a bucket list, adding running a half marathon made sense to Lisa.  Carol went into remission last year and had created her own bucket list, which is why she urged Lisa to do the same.  Dan was okay with the bucket list, as long as she would be home to make him dinner every day.  She was lucky enough to convince Dan to take the weekend to go see the Grand Canyon. 

“And we are off,” the announcer said.  The race had started, but Lisa could barely walk without stepping on the heels of the person in front of her. The slow pace was not what Lisa had expected.  The pace got faster.  Then faster.  Then Lisa was at her normal pace. 

Lisa passed the first mile, throwing her hands up into the air in celebration.  One mile down.  Twelve point one miles to go. Then two miles down.  Then three miles down.  Once she hit four, she was unsure of the next nine point one miles.  She could run four no problem and when she signed up for the half marathon she had run five miles twice and six miles once.  She figured that if she could beat death, she sure as hell could run this race. 

Five miles down.  Six miles down.  At just before the seven-mile mark, she started to feel it.  Fatigue was setting in.  She walked through the seven-mile mark, pep talking herself backup to run.  It may be a slow run, but she needed to run. 

“You can do it, Lisa!” she told herself.  She touched her left breast, or where her left breast once was, reminding her of how far she had come. That she was lucky enough to be here to run this race. 

And with that, she felt a burst of energy.  It was like a defibrillator had shocked her.  It was like someone shot her with an adrenaline needle.  She picked up speed, passing the walkers and then the runners. Eight miles.  Nine miles.  Ten miles.  She felt no need to walk.  It was as if she came across super powers.  Eleven miles.  Twelve miles.  A little over one more mile to go.  Thirteen miles down.  She didn’t slow down; she ran that last point mile faster than she had ever ran in her life.  If anyone was to see her, they wouldn’t describe what she was doing was running, it was more like she floated across the finish line.

As she approached the finish line, tears streamed down her face. She crossed the finish line and slowed to a walk.   “I feel alive!”  She yelled.  “I feel so alive.” Her breath was short but it didn’t take long for her to recover to a normal breathing level.  

Where did this energy come from?  How did she become a superwoman and finish this race?  She was hooked.  Maybe a full marathon was in her future.  She didn’t know if running a full marathon was in her future.  But she knew that next on her bucket list, she was going to Napa with Carol to drink the best Cabernet wines she could find.