Spoken From The Heart

 TW: some swearing

The plates are beginning to pile up like Portuguese men o’ war on a deserted shoreline. Cursing loudly, Barry promises himself a dish washer as soon as he can get round to buying it. A half-eaten fish and chip supper lies stranded next to the sink, its wrapping poking out of the bin like an accusation. While he’s about it, he might as well get a new bin too. Preferably one where the lid doesn’t have to be wrenched open.

Friday evening is rock night, the only time Barry feels truly alive. He’s getting ready to join his band at the Horse and Dragon. He’s just reaching for his leather jacket, remnant of a misspent youth, when the cell phone rings.

Fucking cell phones!!! Always going off at the wrong time!!

“Hey dad, it’s me.” There’s no mistaking Melinda’s vibrant voice over the airwaves.

Melinda is his vivacious daughter; it feels like she’s the one thing he got right in his life.

“Hold on, let me put you on speaker phone,” Barry says, putting down his jacket.

Melinda giggles endearingly. It reminds Barry of the fun they had when she was a little girl on their weekend trips together. “Dad! I’ve got something to tell you.”

Uh oh! Brace yourself.

Barry does his best to inject a note of enthusiasm into his voice, before responding. “Oh, what’s that?” He’s frantically hoping she’s not planning another sky dive, or some equally hazardous activity. He’s not sure his heart can take the strain of watching another sky dive – even if the last one was for charity. Melinda’s work as a location manager means having to fly off at short notice to some interesting, occasionally god-forsaken places. Impossible to fathom where she gets her adventurous streak. Certainly not from him. The last time she got bitten by some weird tropical insect; fortunately, an antidote was found but for a while, it was touch and go.

“Nothing for you to worry about, dad,” she laughs breezily. “But, it might be best if you’re sitting down for this one.”

“O-kay.” He perches on the arm of a settee that’s seen better days.

“Greg’s asked me to marry him, and I’ve said, yes.” Melinda screams out the words, nearly deafening his good ear. “Isn’t it brilliant?”

What the ????

She can’t have been going out with Greg for more than a few months, if that. With her busy work schedule, Barry hasn’t even had a chance to meet the guy yet.

“Are you serious, Melinda? Isn’t it a bit soon?”

“To-tally serious. When you know, you know. Honestly dad! What are you like?”

“So long as you’re sure. Have you told your mother yet?”

“I tried just now, but she was engaged. I didn’t want to leave a text about something that important.”

Here we go again! He only gets to know by default. Melinda’s always been close to her mother, and although Jo was the main one to bring Melinda up and appears to have done a great job, he always insisted on regular contact, even when things were dire between him and his ex. Eventually things settled to the point where she invited him over to the house he once shared with her, Melinda, and their dog, for mince pies on Boxing Day. Jo now shares the house with her partner Dean from the Fraud squad.

Keep things civilised by all means, but you can put your mince pies where the sun don’t shine..

Mince pies notwithstanding, even at their worst, Jo and himself always attended Melinda’s school evening days, as well other key events celebrating her successes.

But all this is sidetracking. Get back to the present.

“Where are you now?” Barry asks Melinda.

“At a shoot in Jamaica. Greg’s flown out to join me.”

“Is he with you?”

“No, he just popped out to buy suitable clothes.”

It’s all too easy to get swept along in the wake of Melinda’s hectic life. “He’s definitely the one, dad.”

Tapping his fingers on the coffee table, Barry ponders this latest news. Especially as Melinda’s last relationship didn’t go so well. Could she just be on the rebound? Barry remembers having to pick her up from an all-night bender when some “big cheese” in the film industry broke her heart. She’d pleaded with him not to tell her mother. Now, he can’t bear the thought of her getting hurt again.

“Well, are you going to say something?” Melinda asks.

“Er, of course: Obviously, congratulations.”

A brief pause is followed by: “You could sound a little more enthusiastic. Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know he plays in a rock band like you, dad. Woohoo.”

I only want the best for you.

“Really?”

“Really.” At least they’ll have something to talk about. When he finally gets to meet this dickhead, whoever he is. The guy better not be that.

“Have you set a date yet?” Barry asks. He’s going to be late so he settles into nibbling some leftover chips.

“No point delaying things. Also, we thought it would be fun to get married on Christmas Eve.”

“Won’t people be busy then?”

“My friends won’t be too busy. They’ll love it.”

“Right.” A sudden thought crosses Barry’s mind. “You’re not… you know, well… in the family way?” What possessed him to say that? It sounds so last century. But then, he is. His parents went through the war and it left its mark on the children. Not like his daughter’s generation who merely felt the ripples.

“You are funny, dad! And no, I’m not in the family way. – as you so quaintly put it. It really is the only time we can fit it in.”

“But Christmas Eve? Wont it be difficult to get a venue then?”

“Not for us. Luckily, I have a friend who’s a wedding planner. There was a cancellation, and she slotted us in.”

“Right.”

“Oh, dad?” The way she says it sounds ominous.

“Yep?”

“Just to let you know, I plan to walk down the aisle on my own.”

“Oh.” Somehow, he’d always pictured himself with Melinda holding onto his arm when the time came; she’d be clutching tightly, a vision in pink or purple – he knows her too well to expect anything ordinary, but he’d definitely banked on being part of it.

“I know it’s breaking with tradition and all that, but it’s not uncommon for brides to walk down the aisle alone nowadays.”

Melinda hadn’t wanted to exclude either of her parents, so this way seemed best.

**

In spite of his rock playing persona, Barry is out of touch with modern trends. Things have moved on since he last attended a wedding. He remembers his own with a certain nostalgia. There was no biodegradable confetti, but he’d been on cloud nine, thinking his marriage was going to last forever. Then life came and cocked a snook at him. Still, Melinda will always be the part he and his ex did well together, the most important person in their lives. But while Jo has most definitely found her plus one to bring to the wedding, Barry’s dates have never got past first base – at least in psychological terms. The trouble is the older he gets, the harder it seems to find love. The women he meets from internet sites either expect more than he’s able to give or are carrying enough baggage to derail the relationship train before it’s left the station.

“There’s just one other thing,” Melinda says. “I’d love it if you’d do the first speech at the reception.”

Are you crazy? You want me to do the father of the bride speech?

Barry hasn’t made a speech in public since the disastrous school assembly when there’d been a problem with the mic and his words had come out like a constipated mouse and the kids had tittered. Then a teacher had got the thing working and his voice boomed, echoing back and forth across the large auditorium. Trying to read from a crumpled paper, his hand had trembled and his face turned beetroot. After that, he vowed he’d never do another speech in his life. To this day, he’s never told anyone of his humiliation. And now, there’s this to contend with.

Sod it all! Where will it end?

“Well? Will you do it, dad?”

“Of course I will,” he hears himself say. He’d do anything for her. He’s her dad. That’s what dads do.

But for once, he wishes she’d asked her mother. As a teacher, she’s used to speaking in public.

**

Whenever Barry gets a spare moment in the weeks before the wedding, he sets about preparing the speech. He researches the internet and asks his friends at work and in the band for advice. After a while, he thinks he’s got the gist of what to say, but as the day approaches, the more nervous he feels.

**

Stepping out of his car, Barry can’t believe his eyes. The castle where Melinda is getting married is something out of a gothic fantasy. It’s all fairy tale turrets standing at the end of a path lined with evergreens. Melinda is driven in a carriage drawn by two white horses adorned with thick red plumes.

Meanwhile, the groom anxiously waits for his beloved to arrive in the hall. There’s a fanfare of horns and other instruments to announce her arrival. Without thinking, Barry hurriedly puts his speech under his seat.

There’s a collective gasp as wearing a purple floor-length bodice dress with long sleeves, Melinda glides down the aisle, every inch the medieval princess. Carrying a bouquet of juniper berries and eucalyptus as befitting the season, Barry finds it hard to believe he had once driven her for hours at night in the car so her mum could get some sleep. That was when she was teething.

When the service is over, a woman from the row behind him, taps him on the shoulder.

“I think this might be yours,” she says, handing him a piece of paper.

“My speech!” Relief floods through him.“Thank goodness you found it. I’d be stuck without that!”

The woman’s eyes sparkle. “I look forward to hearing it later. I’m Irene, by the way. The groom’s aunt.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Barry, the terrified father of the bride.”

“No one would know,” she says, and they both laugh.

“I hope not.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

**

There’s an expectant hush in the smokeless air. The time has come to give the speech and all eyes turn to Barry. He stands, surprised to find Melinda apparently more nervous than him.

Unfolding his paper, he takes a deep breath, catches Irene’s eye on the opposite side of the table, smiling encouragement. For the first time, he sees this is not about him; it’s Melinda’s big day and he doesn’t want to let her down. He’s no longer a frightened boy and there’s no reason to mess it up. Nothing can be as bad as the speech he made all those years ago and it wasn’t his fault things went wrong. One bad experience made him turn down many opportunities. He now has a chance to rectify it.

“Er, hello everyone…”

It’s not much of a start, but once the first words are out, it gets easier. He has a sudden image of his guests naked with Micky mouse painted faces. He read somewhere it would take the pressure off to see them like that. All except for Irene. He tries not to think of her like that at all.

He begins to relax, finding it easy to tell everyone how proud he is of his daughter and all she’s achieved. Getting into his stride, he speaks with feeling, yet manages to keep his emotions in check. It really doesn’t matter what people think about him anymore. This is all for Melinda; she’s going to remember this for the rest of her life. Surely he should be happy she’s found someone to share it with.

“It’s an added bonus the groom happens to share the same taste in music as me. He can’t be all bad, can he?” The guests laugh appreciatively, including the groom.

**

“That was a wonderful speech dad. You spoke from the heart,” Melinda tells Barry later when they get a chance to catch up at the reception. By now, the dancing is in full swing on the disco floor. Melinda is trying not to laugh at her father-in-law’s terrible dad-dancing. She’s rarely seen her dad dance in public, but he always has great rhythm when he does. Melinda spots Irene sitting alone in a corner. “Why don’t you go and ask her for a dance, dad? She’s really nice. I can see you two getting on well.”

“Do you think so?” Barry asks.

Melinda nods emphatically. She only wants the best for him. She wants him to be as happy as she is. “I do.”