My daughter is gone

My daughter is gone

I woke up this morning and my daughter is gone. I got up from bed, and walked slowly to her room, shaking the sleep from my limbs. When I opened her door I found her room empty. The bed was made, which is bizarre considering that I tucked her in last night, and she never makes her bed in the mornings. I scold her about it all the time. And now she's gone.

I try not to panic as I make my way down the stairs. She couldn't have gone far, she's only 13. Maybe she had early football practice this morning. Although....hadn't she quit football a couple weeks ago? Or was that the debate team? Alice is the kind of child that wants to try everything at once, without really committing to anything, and it's getting harder and harder to keep all her clubs and activities straight.

''Good morning'' says Linda, sitting at the table with some toast and coffee, barely even looking at me; her bored eyes just lost in the horizon.

''Have you seen Alice?'' I ask her. That makes her snap back to reality, and she looks at me like I had grown a second head. ''Who...?'' she starts, but soon she is interrupted by Emily. I try as hard as I can not roll my eyes at her presence.

She's...nice enough, but she's the kind of nice that is very condescending. She speaks to you with an exasperated smile and an exaggerated slowness, as she was talking to a toddler and not a grown adult.

''Good morning, ladies. How are you this beautiful morning?'' she sings with her sickly sweet tone. Linda's eyes get lost in space again, and she remains quiet, not bothering with an answer. She likes Emily as much as I do.

''Emily, have you seen Alice?'' I ask, and already she's putting on the fake big smile of hers. She puts one of her hands on my arm, trying to be soothing.

''Come on, now. Let's have some breakfast, ok?'' she tries to push me to the table, tries to make me sit down. I shake her off, being this annoying so early should be a crime.

''I just wanna know if any of you saw Alice leave this morning. I don't remember if she told me she had early practice this morning. I'm starting to get worried-''

''Now now,'' she interrupts'' it's too early to get worked up like this. There's nothing to worry about. Everything is ok, you are ok. Now, I'll go fetch you your favorite tea; cream and sugar just the way you like it.'' and with another word, she turns around and leaves to the kitchen.

I'm dumbfounded. I look at Linda, who seems to have heard nothing of what was just said. They don't understand what it's like to have a teenager. You really gotta be on top of them, at such a young age is so easy for them to get in trouble. Besides, we don't live in the safest town in the world. There are bad people everywhere, and only so much a mother can do to keep her child safe.

Eventually, Emily comes back with my cup of tea and sets it in front of me. She sits a couple of chairs away from me, making it seem like she's on her phone while she keeps an eye on me. Fine, I think, I'll drop it for now.

''Do me a favor, text Alice and tell her to call me as soon as she can'' I grab my cup and make my way to the stairs. I hear a faint ''Will do!'' from Emily and I sigh. I really hope she does, I would text her myself, but the phones are getting more and more sophisticated these days, and I can barely use the phone that Alice forced me to buy. She said that it was the latest model, very ''intuitive''. So much for intuitive if I have a hard time finding the actual ''phone call'' button.

The hours pass slowly, I try to finish my novel but it's hard to keep my focus when the font being this tiny. I need new glasses. I know there's no rush tho, with Alice changing hobbies so frequently we make trips to the mall more often than I would like.

Eventually, is lunchtime, and there's still no sign of her. I come down again to Linda (in her same spot) and Emily (in the kitchen) all by themselves.

''Did you call Alice like I asked Emily?'' ''I'm sure she's fine'' she waves me off with her hand, not taking her eyes off whatever she's making on the stove. I start to get worked up, it's been hours, I haven't heard from my daughter, and this woman is waving me off like I'm a lunatic. I know I should keep myself together, but I've always had a bad temper.

''I asked you to do one thing!!'' Emily stops what she's doing when I raise my voice. She calmly puts the spoon down, and she turns around, that sickly sweet smile on her face again.

'' Ok, alright'' she puts both her hands up in defeat, the smile never leaving her face ''You're right. You asked me to call and I didn't. I understand that it's very upsetting. But let's remember that she's a very busy, young lady. We don't wanna bother her for''

''I just wanna know where she is!'' I'm shouting now. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't stop. My heart is beating so fast, and I feel tears prickling my eyes'' She was gone this morning, and she hasn't come back and I just wanna know if she's ok!'' my voice is trembling and I close my fists. At what moment did I become so emotional? This isn't me.

But the truth is that I feel very scared. Call it a hunch, or a mother's sixth sense. She wouldn't just leave like this. And it's such a scary world out there. I just wanna know if she's ok. She had to be ok.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur. I'm seating int the couch as Emily finishes talking on the phone. She comes back to tell me something. I can't hear what it is. I suddenly feel so tired. I just wanna see Alice again. She pats my shoulder, smiles, and walks away. Probably to make me another cup of tea.

Then out of nowhere, there's someone seating in front of me. She's smiling at me, as condescending as Emily, but there's something else. I can see in her eyes, she looks sad. She talks to me slowly as well, like I'm a bloody toddler. Except for this time, I don't have the energy to be mad about it anymore.

''I came as fast as I could. I had to drop the kids with Mark, they had football practice today'' she says. Why would I care about this stranger's children? I have my own child to worry about. Then I remember how this whole thing started.

''Where is my daughter?'' it almost sounds like a plea when it leaves my lips. Please, I wanna say, end this madness. My baby girl is gone, she's gone and no one seems to care. Her beautiful eyes widen, startled by my question. They start to fill with tears, but the smile never leaves her face.

''She's ok'' she says. ''I just wanna see her'' my voice is barely above a whisper ''Please. You said you have children. Please help me find her'' my face drops. She very carefully cups my face in her hands, carefully, tenderly, like I'm as fragile as I feel.

She looks me in the eyes. Her eyes are beautiful, round and brown, just like mine. Under them, she has bags, blue like a bruise. The signature of an exhausted mother. Her honey-blonde hair falls in soft waves framing her face, like mine before it started to gray. Her entire expression screams of love, the kind of love that hurts. How is this woman looking at me like this, so full of love, when she refuses to help me?

When she doesn't find what she's looking for in my eyes, she sighs quietly. Her hands let go of my face and she circles me with her arms. She hugs me tightly, carefully. What is going on?

''Everything is fine,'' she says'' I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere''.