Cat-astrophe

The alarm didn’t wake me up this time around. The smell did. It was fishy, potently so. 

I peel my eyes open, yawning in the process and stretching out my achy muscles. 

I’m not in my bed. I clearly slept on the floor. The carpet beige and worn out. 

I try to remember how I got here, but nothing’s coming up. It’s completely dark and quiet and the harder I try to remember the more I realise it’s pointless. Did I blackout last night?

I’ve never blacked out before. I’ve never been drunk, never did drugs. Could someone have actually drugged me without me knowing it?

What is the last thing I rememb- hold on…

My hands. What- what is going on here? Am I still dreaming? 

I look down at my hands but i see furr instead. I’m covered in it. In fact my entire body feels off, like I’m not really me. 

I stand on all four and turn around, a tail whooshing behind me. What the actual fuck? 

That’s when I notice everything that’s wrong with my bedroom. My bedroom is now at least five times larger, with pale blue walls instead of red bricks. With weird looking bookshelves in the corners, and toys littered everywhere. 

Everything seems unimaginably sized up like I’m living as a miniature version of me. 

And there are cats everywhere. A shadow of one passes over me as it walks across a bridge that connects one corner of the room to the next. Another orange chubby one gets up right in my face, (strange how a cat seems when its not smaller than you) sniffs at me and leaves. 

This is one strange dream. I’ve never been a cat before. And I’ve never been aware of my dreams like I am right now. Is this what lucid dreaming feels like? Like I’m aware that this isn’t real and that somewhere out there my real body is sleeping in my own bed, alone?

The smell though. I sniff at the air and I can tell that it’s the smell of 16 cats mixed with…canned chicken gravy, litter and…. I sniff again. A human. I can smell a human! 

ha. Interesting how im able to discern humans from cats. Wait did I seriously just figure out how many cats are in here by smelling them? 

This feels unreal.  I feel like i’ve placed a VR headset and i’m going through the motions of the game. Its dizzying but also weirdly satisfying.

I might as well explore the place while i’m here, right? Right. I start to walk around what I assume is the cat shelter, passing by different felines licking themselves, scratching their claws on poles, or just lazily lounging on their pillows looking like they’ve just had about enough of everything . I realise now that the weird shleves are actually cat trees. And the toys must be for cats. 

I pass by a herd of cats by the drinking fountain and stop. Moving in closer, I take a peek at my reflection in the water and I see a short-haired black cat with pale blue eyes. He’s cute…or I’m cute? 

Its unnerving but looking at the cats surrounding me feels like i’m standing with lions and cheetahs, their sizes no longer smaller and weaker but equal to mine. I even notice their contracting muscles as they flex and bend, drinking from their bowls, yawning and licking their paws clean. 

“I’ve never seen you before.” A voice calls. 

I look behind me, but fail to find any person in my vicinity. 

“Hey buddy. Over here.” 

The orange chubby cat from before marches up to me and the voice says, “Are you deaf or something?” 

I scan the room again, but fail to find anyone other than us cats. So who’s doing the talking?

Ginger is adamant on taunting me. He walks around me, and gets up in my face again around the same time the mystery voice comes back. 

“Whoah you really are deaf. I’ve never met a deaf soul before.” 

I think Ginger is talking to me.

”what do you want?” I ask it. But all that comes out is a meow.

The cat doesn’t respond, it just keeps staring at me. 

“What? What is it?” I meow in frustration.

Ginger tilits its head like it doesn’t understand me. figures. Maybe I was wrong in thinking it was him trying to communicate with me, it’s probably just a person I cant see from this angle. 

“No, it’s not.” The voice says again. “And you’re right to communicate with me.” The ginger cat starts walking away. 

“Follow me.” 

He takes me to one of the cat trees in the corner and climbs up. Miraculously I manage to clamber up behind him, probably guided by my cat instincts or something. 

When we reach the top, he lounges on his stomach and starts to lick his paw clean. 

“So, you’re probably thinking this is some strange dream.” He speaks without moving his mouth, like he’s doing it telepathically. 

“Yeah.” I think. “I know it is.” 

“I’ll give it to you straight. You’re not dreaming. You were in a car crash and died. Your soul passed on to this cat and now this is your life. I know. It’s jarring at first. Will get some getting used to. You might even try to find your family and see if they’re doing okay without you. The cosmos won’t let you. Trust me. We’ve all tried. No matter how close you get to them, you blink once and you’re in a different place, back to where you’ve started. It’s like some unwritten rule I think. No one who’s passed shall see their loved ones or some shit.”

I can actually hear his sarcastic tone. And I say he because, I recognize that he’s a guy. Or was a guy. But it’s most likely a 20 something year old dude playing this game with me from the other side, the orange cat, his avatar. 

I decide to play along. 

“Shit man. When- when did you die?” I ask, feigning curiosity. 

“A while ago, I think.” He starts to lick his other paw. “I can’t really tell anymore. I’ve been here so long it feels like forever.” 

How original…

I look down at the other cats around the shelter. “And the others? Any of them once human too?”

At that he stands up and stretches. “Yeah but it’s just us three. Now four with you here.” 

He walks up besides me. “You’re taking this better than Julius did. You should have seen him, the boy shut down completely. He wouldn’t allow any human near him, otherwise he’d hiss and scratch at the first sign of anyone alive.”

Wow this guy’s really committed to this storyline. 

“Yeah I guess I’m in shock or something.” 

A bell rings and my companion perks up. 

“Oh good. Raneem’s here!” 

“Who’s Raneem?” 

“She’s the owner. Ringing bell means it’s food time. Chicken gravy today. With biscuits!” He says the last part as he catapults in the air. 

He lands on his paws and like everyone else they scramble to get to the owner. She laughs at their enthusiastic meows, walking in further to the closed off area where we are. I can’t help but notice how jet black her pixie hair is. And the way she moves with her long limbs and the bounce in her step. 

She bends down by the bowls and scoops something into each single bowl, taking turns petting the cats that find their way to the food. 

She’s dressed in a red and white striped shirt and overall jeans. The jewelry dangling from her ears are tiny golden swords. I’ve always fancied her eclectic taste in jewelry. Especially the ones with stories behind them.

My heart stops. 

How do I know this about her? 

She looks over her shoulder at me, with sad eyes. Turning back to her task, she finishes off filling the cats’ bowls before standing up and leaving the room. 

What the hell is going on and why am I suddenly so invested in Raneem the owner of this animal shelter? 

…

It’s been a few hours of this and I can’t seem to wake myself up. 

I’m antsy all over, boredom seeping in to my bones, making me feel heavy and irritable. 

I swear if one more cat sniffs at me, I will lose it. 

Raneem makes her way over and suddenly I’m not irritable anymore. I’m curious. But even more so, I’m determined. If anyone’s going to help me out it’s her. I’ve got a feeling it’s her. 

She opens the gate and makes her away over to a calendar that’s hung up on the wall next to the cupboards. 

I make my way over the low hanging steps and climb up and across the room towards her. When I reach her, I get nervous energy which I don’t know what to do about.

She turns her head and sees me on the tree next to her. 

“What do you want, Matt?” She looks back at the calendar. 

Okay, she obviously knows about me.

“I need you to get me out of here.” I try. I’m not sure if she can hear my thoughts but… 

Still scribbling on the calendar, she says, “You know you can’t. We’ve been over this before.” 

What? We have? 

“Yes, we have Matt.” She faces me then and crosses her arms. “It’s honestly getting tedious now. I’m tired of this.” She says the last part with a sigh. A couple of hours ago she looked…drained when she saw me. 

I know dreams are suppose to be weird and non sensical but being aware of it while it’s happening is honestly dizzying. At least when you aren’t lucid, you accept what you experience because you have no agency in the dream. It’s only when you wake up that you realize everything you’ve just experienced was a load of bullshit. 

I try to tread carefully because shes obviously upset and I dont wanna ruin my chances of getting out of here. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just having trouble remembering things.”

“I know you are, Matt. It’s the same everytime.” 

She turns to leave.

“Wait! What do you mean everytime? Please. I just need to get out of this dream. I want to wake up.”

She frowns at me. “Dream?”

I’m starting to lose my patience.

“This isn’t you dreaming, Mathew.” She shakes her head. “You’ve been through this before with me countless times. And every-time you lose your grip on your past life more and more.”

She can tell that she’s lost me so she lets out a breath, looks down and collects herself for a couple of moments before she looks to me again. 

“Matt, I’m sorry to say this but this isn’t a dream. You passed away sometime ago now. And your soul-“

“Has passed on to a cat.” I interrupt. 

She purses her lips. “Yes. I don’t know how much you remember, but we were together before. And we were good for each other.” Her lips curve into the tiniest smile. “Really good.” She looks down, but not before wiping away a tear. 

The way she’s holding herself now, hugging herself, protecting herself from hurt. If I had arms I would try to soothe her. 

“They came to my place…the police…when I found out, I demanded I go see you myself. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that you were taken from me. I saw your body at the morgue. Your hand was exposed And I recognized your-“ she blows air from her lips and walks a few steps away from me, her hands covering her face. And I wait for her to collect her broken pieces before she makes her way back to me, eyes red, brimming with the heaviest tears i’m sure she’s had to carry. 

“I saw your tattoo. And I knew it was you before they pulled down the sheet. That was really fucking hard for me Mathew. But anyways. A few days later, I’m feeding the cats and Jenny brings in this new black stray. You. You saw me and I thought you were being friendly because you’ve been living on the streets but you spoke to me that day. You told me who you were. You told me you loved me. You used to remember the car crash in the beginning. We didnt know what to think of your situation. But we tried everything to bring you back to your body. And when we’ve tried enough, and I gave up on the idea, that’s when you started to forget. Every day, from then on, I’d come into the shelter and Jenny brings in a black stray. It was like the day was restarting but no one noticed. Except me. And every-time we talked you would remember less and less. You eventually forgot who I was. But you would always be in denial about what happened to you. Like today, you’re thinking this is a dream. But if you stop and listen. Listen to what your intuition is telling you Mathew.” She steps closer to me. 

“Do you really believe you’re dreaming right now?”

I’m stumped. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel. She’s so convincing.

“It’s okay. It’ll all be over soon. I know this is overwhelming for you. Hopefully tomorrow’ll get better.” 

Why do I get the feeling that i’m suddenly in the deepest shit i’ve ever been in?

“Raneem, I-“ 

“Watch out!” A ball flies past me before something heavy bumps into me, knocking me down. 

Cursing, I get back up and stop. 

I look around. I look down at my hands. My human hands. 

I was dreaming. 

The ring of my phone scares the living crap out of me. I pick it up from the night stand and lie back down.

My heart is still hammering in my chest. And i dont think its going to calm itself down knowing who the called ID is.

I press ANSWER but say nothing. 

“Hi, Mathew.” Raneem’s voice floats back into my life for the first time again in two years. 

“Hi.”