TO THE ONES WHO STOOD BY MY SIDE, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU

For the longest time I've been having a problem, a very big problem. I alienate family and friends. I was kicked out of my family. Everyone hated me but they still came to help me. To make me see I was destroying my life. One day I realized what I was losing and I decided to get help. These Thank You Cards are for those who never gave up on me and for those who were tough on me.

First, I want to say thank you to the big guy up in the sky. Without your love and guidance, I wouldn't be here. When I needed someone to talk too, you were always there. Thank you Heavenly Father.

My best friend Genesis. My partner in crime. We did so many crazy things together. I can't name them all. It will take three full pages to name all the crazy things we did together. I'm laughing right now thinking about how much we drove our mother's crazy.

Genesis, you were there for me during the tough days of my life. The days when I didn't want to leave my house. The days when I was angry at the world. The days when I cursed out the world. You never gave up on me. I love you my sister and I thank you for all you did for me. I thank you for being my best friend.

Doctor Norah Cooper. What would I do without you? You listened to me but never judged me I can always count on you when I need someone to talk too. My problems were your problems. You sat next to me listening to my problems. No matter how long it took, you never complained.

Even when I called you late at night with one of my panic attacks. You never got angry with me. You calmed me down and listened to me. I thank you for all those late nights and early mornings. I hope we can do more.

Hallie, my baby sister. Where do I begin? You recognized my problem long before anyone else did. Even myself. You begged me to get help. I didn't listen to you. You came to my home every single day to tell me I had a problem. You cried in front of me.

I still wouldn't listen. But you never gave up on me. You fought with me to get the help I needed. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you the first time. You pushed and pushed and pushed me to get the help I needed. My sister Hallie, thank you for pushing me and not giving up on me. I love you to the moon and back.

Myla, my second baby sister. You were the total opposite of Hallie. You cut me out of your life because I never saw the problem I had. You didn't want me to infect your life. I get it. I understand why you did what you did. I hope one day we can repair our relationship. Thank you for letting me see what I will lose if I don't get the help I need.

Grandpa Joe, my favorite guy in the world. You tell the best jokes. You know how to make me laugh. On my bad days, You were there for me always making me laugh. When I was spiraling out of control, Grandpa, you were there by my side comforting me and telling jokes. Thank you Grandpa for always making my life a little brighter.

Paris, my last baby sister. You pulled me out of the darkness. You told me un your sweet way I was ruining my life. When I was crying, you sang to me. Your voice baby sister gave me hope that my life was worth living.

Paris, you sang to me at my lowest point. You sang to me when I needed hope and love. I never got to say I love you. I hope one day I can say those words. Thank you Paris for always singing to me.

Dylan, my favorite next door neighbor. I'm sorry for the headaches I caused you. You didn't deserve my anger. You once told me that living with a bottle in my hands is not living at all. That I'm existing in a world that doesn't seen the real me.

Dylan, you knew what I was going through because you went through the same thing. You words helped me see the light.

I once told you I wasn't worthy to be alive. You told me I was wrong. You told me I was worthy to be alive. That I was worth something. I just had to believe it. Thank you, Dylan for seeing the real me.

Grandma Ellie, You're the tough one in the family and you let me know it every single day. You yelled and screamed at me. You told me I was being selfish only thinking about myself. Grandma, you kicked me out of the family. I don't hate you for what you did. I was or maybe I'm still a toxic person. I hope one day I can make you happy. Thank you, Grandma for being tough with me.

Hunter, my comforter when I needed one. I cried on your shoulders for days. For hours when I was shutting the world out. You took the time to talk to me. I heard from so many people that I was wasting my life. That death would come for me soon. It was harsh hearing those words.

Hunter, you told me to be strong. That if I put my mind to getting better than I could do it. I can make my life and my self better. Your hugs were special to me. I always felt safe in your arms. Thank you, Hunter for being my comforter when I needed one.

Father Eddie, you always knew the right things to say to me. You were always a good person to me. From the very first day I went to see you, you opened your arms to me. The many times I came to you to ask for help, you never turned me away. You gave me the power and strength to open my mouth and ask for help. Thank you, Father Eddie for being good to me.

I saved the best person for last. Mom, the person who gave me life. The person I love the most in the world. I'm your first born daughter. The daughter who stood by your side. The one who was there for you when dad left. The one who comforted you when you cried. I cried too but I had to be the strong one.

You told me I didn't need to be strong. I had to be strong for you and for my sisters. I didn't want you, Hallie, Myla or Paris to see me lose it. In the end I broke down and I lose everything. I thought what happened was my fault that's why I had to be strong.

Mom, you tried to get me to see what happened between you and dad wasn't my fault. I didn't see it. You love me for who I was even during my darkest days.

A mother's love is worth more than gold. Your love is worth a lot. Thank you, mom for always loving me.

I hope by reading these Thank You Cards you all would know I'm trying my hardest to get better and I won't ever give up. I love you all.