Hardened Heart Friend

Trigger Warning (TW): Mental health, Death of a loved one

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To Andy

Your love for animals is a beautiful thing. Although it hurts when they depart from us, I hope you believe in me when I say you've given them a small piece of happiness every time. The only thing you should realize is your fault should be bringing your companions peace. I've seen the love in their eyes when they look at you. So don't deny the truth of their last moments with you being wonderful.

And I've seen the love in your eyes when you look at me. This world needs more of that.

Your best friend,

Meng Chen Yu

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Hardened Heart Friend

On '50 Isley Avenue, you would expect Ms. Tzu to leave as a freelance tarot dealer for her shift on the swing. But instead, it was common to find questionable, independent businesses like hers, especially at an entertainment capital.

She was a thin, short woman with black hair and dark brown eyes, although she would bicker with you on height if you were measured the same. As for a mister, there are none. Unless you count every fling, including the one, she questions the existence of who is responsible for the birth of a girl named Moon, an only child.

Ms. Tzu, although often claiming that she appreciates what she has, is just as constantly trying to find what she can do to have more. Due to her hypocritical nature, little did anyone know of her minor obscurity. She also enjoyed teasing people with bits of incomplete detail that she would also often slip into their thoughts now and then-- a matter involving herself and her daughter.

You would think the two of them would be close, knowing that all they have at most is each other. But, in actuality, they are distant. Ms. Tzu would tell Moon to stay in her room whenever there were visitors; her existence was unbeknownst to them. Of course, Moon accepts this as Ms. Tzu rewards her with a plate of food beside her bedside table. Yet when she leaves her bedroom and catches the guests' attention, they have more exciting things to talk about, such as the father's identity.

Moon's biological father may have some idea of her existence, or so claimed by Ms. Tzu, but they both haven't the slightest clue, and that is something you will never hear escape from Ms. Moon's lips unless you eavesdropped and if you were Moon.

On another Wednesday morning, Moon awakes before her mother does, as if it were her usual day off. Ms. Tzu would have slept in routinely and then had a mother-daughter luncheon around noon, partially to spend quality time together. Perchance, she may not have had many chances like this when she was Moon's age, but mostly because it was another era. Ms. Tzu can never forget her times of financial struggle and the language barrier she had to overcome to become the woman she is today. But it was unbeknownst to Moon that her mother decided to pull a double and some overtime that Wednesday.

"She? Who is she?" Moon murmured to herself. She thought perchance that it could've been nothing more than a dream, yet there were fresh pieces of leaves in the nook where an older woman sat on Moon's first night in Isley. And upon looking back, Moon remembered her singing in a foreign language. This woman was a shadowy being who appeared to be nocturnal by nature. Every night Moon woke to the sight of her, the woman would lean on the window sill, sometimes looking at Moon or the stars outside, with intense eyes of slight tinges of russet. Though it would only be a few following moments of silence, it was still a moment they shared.

It had been 108 days since Ms. Tzu and her daughter had taken residency in '50 Isley Avenue. Moon noticed the quiet stillness in her home, suspecting her mother was absent. But, once she entered the kitchen, she saw a black siamese bobtail cat sitting outside the window sill.

"Princess?" Moon says in surprise, walking towards the feline. But, once she did, Moon realized it was too good to be true. Instead, it was a horned owl, although a lovely one. Moon admired it momentarily before watching it fly away. And since she had the house to herself, Moon felt it was appropriate to explore, especially after having her phone's battery die.

It had been raining for quite some time now. Although every room was ordinary, Moon felt inspired to paint each on canvas. Minutes later, she began hearing distorted sounds around her, like broken twigs. Moon peered through every window, but nothing was there. Then, meowing followed. Moon couldn't find where the noises were coming from, but once she opened the front door, a tall, young man with dark hair named Andre stood there.

"Back so soon?" Moon asked, stepping aside for her friend to enter her new home. As she did, Andre seemed nervous, pacing his breath.

"I keep hearing something," he said.

"Don't you always think so?" Moon asked nonchalantly.

"No, there's a voice in the back of my head. It's telling me bad things." Moon watched Andre sit in the living room, jittery as he spoke and gestured with his hands.

"What does this voice say?" She asked. Gathering his thoughts, Andre did not reply at first. Then, sounds of tumbling started from a box sitting on a mantelpiece.

"What?" Andre's brows furrowed in confusion. His hands gripped both ends of the armchair tightly as his heart pounded. Then, a loud meow occurred behind him, and the same cat Moon had seen before appeared.

"What was it for?" Words slipped from the cat. Andre stared at the feline unexpectedly. "What was it for?" The cat asked again.

"Princess...?" Andre murmured to himself. In his line of sight, Princess nods. Moon looks at Andre, puzzled at his reaction.

"I kept this thought to myself. And I had wondered as often as I did if we had even built a foundation altogether in the first place - if the deep connection that held us together ever existed." Princess continued. Moon looks at Andre, watching his eyes water impatiently. He slightly shakes his head at Princess very sorrowfully.

"I'm sorry," Andre quietly whimpered to himself. Moon leans forward slightly, peering into his face. Although she didn't voice her intentions, it was like she was trying to understand him.

"My beliefs persisted to waiver, and I insisted on hoping that our shared memories were not of an imposter. If anything, I used to hold on to something I thought would be significant to me, not that it was no longer just as important." Princess says, slowly making her way toward the coffee table. Her tail then splits into two, and her whiskers elongate. Her body was growing, yet Andre couldn't tell. His vision blurred from the oncoming tears that poured out.

"I'm sorry," Andre says again in distress. Moon acted as though she couldn't see the cat that Andre was seeing. She was curious to know if he was saying it to Princess in spirit or if it was for himself as she watched his tears flowing down his cheeks.

"However, my mind would always play tricks on me upon opening my eyes. Reality would often become shades of black and white, but I also tended to ignore such figurative notions. No matter. Everything of that memory is now out of place; there's nothing left I may comprehend anymore. At the very least, I admit my incapability to distinguish between what is a figment of my imagination and reality. Or perhaps I was so deep into my contradicting thoughts that I had forgotten everything and everyone else in my surroundings. Whatever the case, what's left to believe?" Andre continued to cry as if his heart was breaking.

"No, no." Andre gasped, shaking his head, feeling like this situation was too much.

"I have lived this day a hundred times before; no matter where I go, fragments of what is now a memory continue to follow me in whichever direction I take. And though I was oblivious to my feelings at the time, I did, however, occasionally still think of my daughters from time to time." Water also began running from Princess' eyes.

"What happened?" Moon suddenly asked. To her, Andre and Moon sat quietly in a room, frowning. She intended her question toward Andre, but Andre didn't acknowledge it.

"As I reminisced, I remembered how difficult it was to be in the same room with those I loved. I somehow knew I couldn't. I was wary that it had never been my place to approach the ones I loved, and I, too, am unsure of my motives when I continue to try and be by their side invisibly. Maybe there was no reason. For the longest time, I've had several others in the past play a part in my favor. To be a better companion than I could have ever been because of the courage I lack," Princess lowered her head, positioning herself as if she were preparing to pounce.

"What happened?" Moon questioned again, more firmly this time.

"Where are my babies?" Princess shrieked, jumping toward Andre before disappearing in mid-air. Andre jumps out of his chair, shouting and panicking as he runs to the kitchen. Moon is stunned, unsure of what is wrong with Andre. She then looked upwards. The analog clock had its hand at noon. Moon rose from her chair and slowly made her way toward Andre.

"Andre?" Moon spoke. After a few steps, she notices Andre standing over the sink with his hands on the counter. The water was running. Now, she's standing beside him with her hand on his back.

"I miss her." Andre finally said. "She was so different from us. She always kept her distance and watched us from afar. You remind me of her, sad and hard to get close to." Andre kept looking downward, avoiding eye contact.

"I think it's time," Moon advised. Andre nodded, sniffling, watching her leave, and then come back with an urn. Together, they walk out into the yard. Andre couldn't stop shaking.

"It was prolonged mourning; I don't think there would've been a difference made if I had stayed home. There are paper cuts in my heart. One was long gone in the shed, and another dead next door. So here lies Princess in the grass, groaning - trying to give it another try. She was too tired to turn back. Princess chose to stay despite that, especially if there was no chance of survival. She didn't want to go through it anymore. I'm sorry that she did." Andre sighed loudly, trying not to cry again. He knelt and began digging.

"As Princess lay in the grass, she heard a familiar voice. She slowly moved her head up, only to find her favorite person. She was too weak to bother getting off the ground. Despite how bright the day was, everything darkened before her. And when she woke up, she found herself in an unfamiliar room filled with tools, machines, and people. She heard people crying. She knew we were there. I'm glad we found her. I'm sorry it had to be that way." Moon exchanged glances with Andre before bringing down the urn.

"I'll always love you" escaped from Andre's lips. Moon had figured those words were for Princess, but she felt it was also for her.

"Maybe we're just too different," Moon replied.

"I'll still keep trying," Andre argued. Moon couldn't help but smile at his response.