The Unexpected Twist

We have been good friends since we were in the same grade six class, Richard and I. With the exception of my wife, Mary, I don’t think that I have known anyone better than I know him. I owe a lot to him as my unofficial advisor. When we were in high school, and I was somewhat wild and crazy, I would often listen to his advice about what I should be doing, rather than in the wayward direction that my nutbar urges wanted to lead me. Without the advice that he give me when we sat in the coffee bar near the school after our shared classes, I doubt that I would have ever graduated, gone on to university and got a good job working with computers.

I remembered how he would talk to me quietly and respectfully, like a pastor or a teacher, telling me that it was easy to be wild and crazy at our age, but we had to have enough self-control to act in ways that would give us a decent future. He would often say to me that “seriousness is success. Too much play and listening to emotions an urges is destructive.  He had more impact on my life at that time than any guidance counsellor or any other adult could have had on me, including my parents who often shook their heads when they gave me their parental lecture.

Richard and I both went to the same university after graduation, and again he taught me the value of self-restraint and general seriousness. This was important as we both lived in the same residence, a place in which drugs and drunken parties were readily available to us on weekends. Thanks to Richard, I did not get involved with either of those two temptations, and my marks turned out to be rather good.

When we graduated, Richard helped me act appropriately in a job interview. “Do not joke, or treat any question lightly. Put on the most serious face that you have, one that demonstrates that you are thinking deeply and not ruled by your emotions or other frivolous feelings.”

I got the job, and I thanked Richard profusely for his advice. If it hadn’t been for his timely advice, I believe that I might well have failed in the interview, as I had been tempted to tell a joke about something the interviewer said. Again, he spoke his ‘phrase that pays’ as he called it ‘seriousness is success, emotions and temptation lead to personal failure’.

This would not be the last time that he would help me with the direction of my life. For a couple of years after getting my job, I remained single, completely unattached. Then there was a ten years after graduating anniversary school party. Over lunch we had another one of our discussions (more I listened and he talked) in which he would direct me and I would go along with his suggestions.

“Richard, you know that this can be an opportunity for you to end your life as a bachelor. You can make a hit with one of the girls now women that we went to school with over the years. Here is my advice for you. Listen carefully.

The worst thing that you can do on this occasion is to drink too much. You will never take steps on the path of matrimony if you act like a complete fool. You must demonstrate that you have matured over the last few years, with a career that is moving you forward to ever greater success. And dress up a bit, not in the usual clothes that you wore at school.”

Richard and I kind of disappeared from each other’s lives after I married the young woman whom I danced with at the school party.  Marie and I soon had twins, and they filled our time with their very active presence. Richard must have changed his phone number around that time, and I did not see him in the coffee bar that had been our regular hangout for years prior to my marriage.

Friday Night at the Toby Jug

One Friday night, my wife Marie and I decided that we would go to the Toby Jug, a local British-style bar, for a little escape from our usual parental routines at night. The kids were staying with my parents, which would be a good time for both parties involved, as well as allowing the two us to spend time just with each other. As we opened the door to the Toby Jug, we heard a very loud and decidedly obnoxious voice singing along with the song playing on the sound system. Then we saw a man very clumsily dancing in the back of the bar, nearly falling over with ever awkward step he took. As we sat down at the bar, we asked the bartender what was going on with this guy. He replied by saying that this fellow was here a couple of times every week, and acted in the same way each time. He tipped very, very well, and he kind of entertained some of the people in the bar, so they did not kick him out.

           Then we were in for a big surprise. The man stumbled in our direction, and sat down beside us. It was Richard. He had seen us. He spoke to me with a multi-slurred voice.

           “Tom, my man, it is good to see you here. I imagine that the life that you are leading now must be a tiresome one, all work and no play.  You have always been way too serious. You need more fun in your life. And I can help you with that.” 

           When he finished his little speech, he leaned heavily on the bar, eventually to fall down, so I had to pick him. This was a side to Richard that was totally unexpected. Over the next little while our roles were reversed. I soon learned that he had been recently divorced (Marie and I had been at their wedding) and his wife was awarded complete custody of their one child, a baby boy. He told us of how she ignored all is ‘advice’ about raising their son, and how he started screaming at her when she ignored what he had ‘suggested’ to her.

           He leaned on me as I half carried him out of the bar. He pointed in the general direction of his house. It took a little while to find it, as some of his directions were somewhat misleading.

           We soon renewed our friendship, although this time our roles were reversed. It was so unexpected.