Devin the legend, a pink bike and some girls.

It was 4:30 pm when Frankie walked in. Young aged people don't make noise to wake you up intentionally, or do much intentionally, but they still make a lot of noise and do much anyways. He plopped down on my non-memory foam "too young to care" worn out spring mattress and woke me from my temporary death. "Dude, are you awake? Are you OK my man? I can't believe you're here and alive my hero." Frankie sounded sincere enough, but his voice had a green tint to it. My name is Devin, which I should tell you for purposes of this true story. I looked at Frankie, who was blurry and an annoying me being there. "Frankie, I was wasted off my ass last night. What happened." Frankie hit his vape, which annoyed me further, even though I vaped too, and after exhale he stoner chuckled out, "Devin the savage. The savage legend of Cherry creek huh huh." That's right, he laughed like Butthead. "They are changing the name of this neighborhood now, brah." Maybe it's spelled "breh," I don't know. But what I knew then was I had no idea what had happened the night before that made me feel like death snorting crackers, and I didn't like it.

After rocking side to side on my feet to get downstairs, I saw that my mom had left me some pasta salad from lunch in the fridge. I wasn't exactly hungry, but eating was an admirable effort at normalcy on my part. It was time I check my phone; I figured there would be something there that would remind me of the night of lost life. A lot of new messages; I would say exactly how many, but there are always a bunch that are old that you haven't opened, so adding them up would be difficult. It was around fifteen I guess:

Louie: "Dude we have to party like that again. Most fun I've had in 4ever."

Banner: "I underestimated you. Legend status."

Dan: "Savage bro. I wish I could have been there the whole time, but you showing up like that was the shizz."

Alexa: "That was fun. Sorry we bailed early, but I'll make it up to you."

Frizz: "How ya feelin Devin? lol I'm wrecked."

And so on and so forth..

I knew the people I was with early, and I remembered some shenanigans. Frizz and Dan were my initial accomplices, and I remember we met Louie at Frizz's pizza place work before he got off. I had flashes of memory, but they didn't seem real enough, or coherent enough to be put in any order, so I would have to rely on my "friends" to fill in the blanks. I called Frizz. Frizz was maybe my best friend at the time. "Frizzzzz what's up broooo," I said in a way that highlighted the rough shape I was in. "Devin my dawg. you alright? You get in any trouble?" I accidentally paused too long, but recovered; "Naw man no trouble. Just feel rough bro." Frizz paused too, "Did you talk to any of those girls?" This was an annoying question to respond to with no memory of "the girls." "That Alexa chick messaged me. I barely remember her, but she sounds good to go for next time."

"She was the hottest out of the chicks we picked up at the burger king. You should hang with her again dude. Did the other little hotties message you or anything? Dude you did so good with them haha." "Naw man not yet. We'll see though," I said.

"So no cops or anything? That video is so fuckin funny bro, you can't really tell who it is man, so you'll be straight." I paused again to think to myself that Louie was a stupid slob and I didn't like him even having a video of me,"It's all good Frizz. I'll be aight, I gotta talk to Louie so I'll talk to you later. Peace"

Louie was large, had pretty bad skin, and was good at enough things to make it into some groups. He wasn't "cool" himself, per se', but he could generally fix something, or do something that made his presence seem worthwhile. It wasn't.

*knock knock* L-dog, as we called him sometimes, almost in a "we will trade you this nick-name in exchange for you doing things for us" kind of way, answered the door to his modestly nice apartment I had walked to with a big fake smile, and typical overly excited demeanor. "Deeevin!! What is up brother?! Good times last night!" he said. "Yeah sup L'dog. Frizz said you got some video of me last night. What did you do with it?" L-dog stood frozen with his fake excitedness for a moment. "Yeah Devin, I got a lot of stuff from last night. Even the really good stuff. You were going off hahaha! But I didn't show anything private to anybody man, but the bike video was just too good, bro. I showed you last night, and you said to post it." I was still to embarrassed to admit I was blacked out, so even though I had nobody to impress there, I still played a roll; "Let me see the video you posted again man." L-dog chuckled and pulled out his phone, we were still in the hallway near the door. "Here it is again dog."

THE FIRST VIDEO: *View of a front yard with about fifty (50) people standing around, having obviously been at a house party. Two cop cars in the driveway. Some yelling and jeering about the presence of the fun police. One cop standing on the side of his cruiser, with a couple younger teens against the side of it. I see my buddy Banner in the front yard when Louie pans the entire landscape with his phone; he's talking to a couple cute girls. There were more like 75-80 people. Then you hear some commotion, and a few "woooo's!!" coming from the far side of the house where you couldn't see. The fat guy holding the phone then walks off the porch to try and get a view of what's going on. Then almost out of nowhere a guy and a girl, both in their underwear, the guy wearing a cowboy hat, come tearing out from the side of the garage on a pink bicycle, forced gruff voices calling for them to stop. The girl is standing on the back pegs of the bike, shaking her ass as they make it into the street. The crowd goes wild. Everybody is cheering the two as they single handedly carry the spirit of the party with them. The driver of the bike creates some distance between he and the fun police standing at the top of the shortish driveway. "Hey screw you bub!" says the guy in the hat on the girls bike. He pulls a bottle of beer from his waistband and starts chugging. He doesn't look quite old enough to drink, and the girl in her bra and panties doesn't either. The cop starts power walking towards them, when the cowboy lobs the bottle grenade style and it breaks at the feet of the cop. They take off on the bike as the typically kind of overweight suburban cop begins to give chase, but then rethinks and runs to one of the cruisers to chase in that instead. He hits the lights, crowd laughing and cheering the nearly naked people flying down the street on the bike, as first the one, and then both cruisers pull out with sirens blaring. Of course it was me on the bike.

L-dog was laughing at the video. I laughed little too; of course I worried about the police identifying me and getting some over-charged bullshit on my record. I nonchalantly strode into Louie's kitchen and sat at the small, but better than nothing cheap wooden kitchen table. There was something on the table that fixed my gaze rather quickly, and I started to remember the last of what I could remember from the night before. There was a gallon container with clear liquid in it. I remember L-dog had it the night before with him as Frizz was closing up the pizza place. "Louie what is this again man. We had this last night." Louie looked surprised, and inappropriately self-important look on his face. "That's the G I made bro. You know I have a chemistry set haha. I told you to take a little but not drink to much if you drank at all, but you drank. Dude maybe that's why you can't remember last night."

"I didn't say I couldn't remember, did I?" L-dog, still looking almost comically self-assured, mouthed off "I can tell bro. You haven't mentioned the hot chicks we hung out with last night, or should I say, YOU hung out with; and you haven't mentioned the dude you punched in the face for falling into the girl you were about to hook up with. I got a lot of it on the phone, but not the punch. You blew that guys face out nice." L-dog seemed like less and less of a useful hanger-on, he and his stupid chemistry set, and even his stupid small kitchen table. I got up from the table, glancing at the "G" in the milk carton before I headed towards the door. "Peace out, and take that video down dude. Don't post anything of me anywhere without telling me man, that's rude," I said. When I got around the corner Louie yelled out, "You're a legend! No worries! Call those girls again!" I rolled my eyes hard and slammed the metal apartment door shut.

So the mystery was solved.. I had a crazy night for the books. Still, something didn't feel settled. I had one of those walks home as an older teen where you notice some things you really haven't noticed before; I saw some weed grass shaking in the breeze, and for some reason I knew I would remember that, and I do. The lack of awareness I experienced that I was now aware of, heightened my current awareness; and I was aware of it. My awareness lead beyond a little bit, as well, as I felt as though there was something Louie was hiding, and something that I should have seen.

Banner was a better friend. Tall, dirty blonde, and pretty good looking; having only know him a couple years when he moved here in the tenth grade, he's the kind of guy I might lose touch with and not feel to bad about it when we finally grow up, but for now he was a pretty good buddy. Maybe we would have stayed friends, I don't know. But he's the one that interrupted my thoughtful walk with a phone call. Phone buzzed, I answered him. "Devin, brother, you have to talk to Louie; somebody sent me a video they said was from him. He's an idiot dude." I sniffed and played cool, and truth is the video I saw did not worry me all that much. "I was just there Banner. I talked to him. Told him to stop." Banner was quiet for solid five seconds before he spoke, "Did you see the video? That weirdo recorded everything. Everything. We have to stop hanging out with that guy. I texted one of those girls and I got no answer." Everybody kept mentioning girls I had no memory of, so it was hard for me to care, but at that moment, hearing Banner's voice mentioning "the girls," I had a flash of dream-like memory; I remembered a girl, and we were pretty tight together face to face. I quickly had to ask, "Banner bro, I was out of it last night, almost blacked out, so what happened with those girls? I can barely remember." Banner chuckled like he didn't really believe me. "You said you saw the video Devin. So you kind of have to know." I was a little confused, "Yeah I saw the video. Was that it?" I asked. "That was the highlight, bro, yes." I had a feeling in my stomach I really can't explain, and it did not make sense to me at the time. "Banner, send me the video. I want to see it again." Banner replied, "If I send it to you, do you promise to delete it? I'm going to, I just haven't yet." "Sure bro," I said. "I'll talk to you later. ding ding, message received.

VIDEO #2:

I'll save you too many details, but this video was not me in underwear on a bike, exactly. I was naked in this one. So were three girls, and so was Banner. We were all having drunken sex. I was on top, then she was on top, then it was too sloppy and her friend got in, then Banner was with the third. All parties looked to be into it.

I got a dizzy feeling realized I did this without having much memory of it, and really no memory of it. It is not a cool feeling to watch yourself like that. Interesting, but do not recommend. I immediately got angry and the idea of "L-dog," overweight can he was, actually filming this. Fricken gross. He also kind of hid it from me, and I realized the shit-eating grin on his wide, greasy face was in reference to this video I didn't ask him to see. I was done with him.

I stopped by my friend Jenny's house instead of going home. We had been friends since elementary school. We dated briefly in the eighth grade, but were always good friends. We were on the couch after smoking some weed, watching an old but funny sit-com, her blonde hair and pretty nice body catching the corner of my eye more than usual, when I got a text from my mom: "Call me immediately. It's important." She was smart to send that text. I would not have picked up if she called. I called her from Jenny's porch. "Mom.. It's Dev-" She cut me off quick, "I know who it is. The damn police were here looking for you. What did you do last night??" I thought about the cop chasing me on the bike, and me breaking the bottle at his feet. Thinking I might have face the music for that one.. "Mom, it's no big deal. I partied a little bit and had some fun, that's all. What did they say?"

"They asked where you were, and said they needed to speak with you. I think they were detectives, Devin. You need to tell me what happened. I love you and I'm on your side,' she said sincerely.

"I love you mom. I was at a party and I ran away from some cops trying to bust my balls for drinking or something. Honestly, I barely remember." I could tell she did not believe that last part.

"I don't know honey, but it seems like you might have pissed them off. I hope everything is ok."

"Thanks mom. It's ok. Don't worry. love you."

"Love you to Devin. How about you come home tonight. It's getting late." I agreed with her on this occasion. "Yep, see ya in a little bit."

I walked home after kissing Jenny. If I had more time, I would tell you about Jenny, and explain why it's pretty damn cool we decided to kiss that night, but that's a different story.

I was in my room, ready to go to bed early, stars from my childhood still on the ceiling with only a few having fallen; I was looking up at them when I got a text from Banner: "Dude don't say anything. We didn't do anything. Louie is a piece of shit and we didn't know. Don't say anything bro." The knot I had had in my stomach earlier turned into the kind of tangle you would find on an extension cord you haven't seen in five years; I texted back directly, "What's going on?" No answer. I called. No answer. I called Louie. No answer. My mom knocked on the bedroom door, and opened it slowly. "Honey, the police are here."

It turns out the legend here had some problems. Stupid ass Louie sent the sex video to half as many people as he sent the bike video to. It got back to the girls we partied with. Our wide friend had apparently spread the love with his milk carton. The girls had drank the G as well. GHB that is; also know as "The date rape drug." L-dog, as we used to call him, put some in the community jungle juice, because you know, that might be funny. Apparently more than a couple people blacked out and could not remember what the hell happened, the girls we had sex with included. Turns out one of those girls was a developed fifteen. Turns out one of their friends saw the video and told them about it. Turns out they felt like they were drugged. Louie was in the police station when I got there; he was distributing child pornography. Banner and I were charged with rape. I won't go into how unfair I thought this all was, and how my mom was destroyed, and how I missed going to college. I've been in prison for 9 years now. I'm getting out a little early in a couple days. I don't feel like getting into the trial, and how there were witnesses that had the girls straddling me in the living room while I was the one almost passed out; it's all in the past now, and there's no going back. Being a legend cost me my twenties. Don't worry so much about being a savage legend, because it's not that important.