Spring, Here I Come

Its starting to get dark outside. I should probably take Walter for a walk. I won’t get a wink of sleep tonight if I don’t. That dang dog is the most hyper creature I have ever met in my life. It figures Bryan would pawn him off on me the minute he heard I finally got a place of my own. Nothing keeps his attention very long. Awww, look at those eyes. I guess he is pretty cute. I should get going before it gets too dark. I wonder how cool it is… Probably just enough for my striped cardigan.

Should I lock the door? Mom says people in the city are crazy and the chances of getting robbed are like 150% more likely. Although that feels like an exaggeration, better safe than sorry. Ohh I am glad I wore my sweater. It is definitely colder than I expected it to be. This dog needs obedience training. He is gonna get me run over with all of this leash pulling.

Where to go? Where to go? I think I remember passing a park when we drove in. Ok there is the 900^th pizza place, but where was that park? Oh, there it is. It looks like even in a new place, you can’t hide from Walter. It feels kind of dangerous at night in the dark. It probably isn’t the smartest thing in the world for me to come out here alone. Walter would be no help in a situation. He is the biggest baby.

Oh, I guess I’m not alone. There are people everywhere. Well…. Yea still alone. I will probably always be alone. I know I promised myself I wouldn’t think about it. But how I am I supposed to forget? Everywhere I look there are happy couples hand in hand. Are those two….. oh yep, they are. Wow… Get a room. I wish I had someone to get a room with. Instead, I am here running away from my running away. I couldn’t stay with mom and dad any longer. How in the world is someone suppose to heal living with the most sickly in love couple ever? Even after 40 years. The world had me believing that love didn’t last. How could Craig and I have ever made it living in a world out to destroy love? So it couldn’t have been my fault. But mom and dad are proof that that isn’t true. So obviously the problem is me….

Oh crap, I have been staring at that couple. Now I feel kind of creepy. And dirty. I wish Walter would hurry up and go to the bathroom so we can leave. I just want to go wallow in my bed with my Netflix. I guess it is pretty nice to have Walter. Who needs a man when he gives me all the love and attention I need? And can handle.

I also have a nice job. Actually, a great job. Maybe you don’t get both. Mom never worked outside of our home. We were her life and she was happy and fulfilled. At least I think she was. She never said any different. But would she have said different, even if that was how she felt?

Seriously, this dog is the slowest dog I have ever met. Does he really have to sniff ever other dogs’ pee spot? Good grief. This park is kind of depressing me. I am going to need to find a new one. I can’t have love slap me in the face every night before bed. Oh… that guy is kinda cute. I can’t tell if he is looking at me or Walter. Walter is pretty cute. And he is definitely a dog guy, considering the chocolate lab at his side.

I can’t tell which of us he is looking at without squinting and if I squint it looks like I am glaring at him. He is getting closer. This is my chance to see. Crap! He totally saw me checking him out. This is embarrassing. Especially since I am pretty sure he was looking at Walter. I need to escape this park. This place is officially on my “do not enter” list. Walter is sooo freaking hard to pull. Why did Bryan have to get such a big dog? And why am I still here? Ok, I need to get home before this escalates into a complete meltdown. I need my bed.

Was this walk this long earlier or is it because I am dying inside and need to get home? I guess that’s kind of dramatic. I am always dying inside. This was just another moment of me looking stupid in front of a man. Why am I always begging them to look my way? Five years of begging Craig to just look at me. I was right there in front of him; his faithful wife, prepared to give him everything I had. Geez I can turn anything into being about Craig, can’t I? Where are those pizza places I passed earlier? I need a pizza.

Finally, my building. I think I burned off this pizza and I haven’t eaten it yet. Is that the guy from the park unlocking the door to my building? Oh my gosh, it is. And he sees me. Act casual. Oh my gosh he is smiling at me. And waving. I think my heart just leapt. That seems like an overreaction, but I haven’t had a man pay attention to me in awhile. I will go right ahead and savor that smile. And in he flies, pulled behind that giant dog. I know how he feels. Walter practically rips my arm off.

Dang it, where are my keys? I need to clean out my purse. Finally. Wait, what is that banging sound? Oh My Gosh! It’s him, standing in his window. Is he waving me up? He just nodded like he heard me ask, so weird! I don’t know what to do. Should I go? I am so afraid of getting hurt. Although that seems to be jumping the gun, considering I have never even spoken to him. Can I hide away forever? It’s been 18 months since my divorce.

Walter is basically dragging me up these stairs, its going to look like I am way too excited. I mean, obviously I am, but I don’t want to look it. Ok, there is his door. Do I knock? Do I turn around and run? Can I do this? Since I was a little girl my mom has always told me that spring was a time for new beginnings. It’s why we clean in the spring. It’s a fresh start. Ok Spring, here I come.