Dan has a Plan, and a Free Gift for You

Dan was helping Len Saunders, the retired accountant and father of his friend Janet, investigate an embezzlement at a little nonprofit in his Sierra town. Dan had a cunning plan. "Let's disable the bank account and see who calls Customer Service!"

After some persuasion from the local police, Heather, the bank VP, agreed to do this. Next Monday afternoon, Heather called Len.

“Mr. Saunders, we did have a couple calls for customer support on that account. Do you have a pencil ready?” She proceeded to give him the times and phone numbers of the callers.

“I re-enabled the account as you asked. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Not right now, Heather. Thank you for your help!” and hung up.

“Now what do I do?” he asked himself. “Who do these numbers belong to? I guess I could just call them and see who answers.”

A moment’s reflection told him that might just alert them. Anyhow, this whole thing was Dan’s idea, so he decided to call him and turn it over to the bright boy.

Dan had another bright idea. He thought Janet would want to know about this business with her Dad, and called and told her. She was alarmed:

“He wants you to call a random number, pretend to be someone else, and get their personal information? I think this hobby of his is getting out of hand! Let me call him.”

Her husband Walt overheard this and chuckled.

“What’s Dad up to now, hon?”

She told him about the embezzling scheme, if that was even what it was, and how he and Dan were playing Matlock over it. Or maybe they were doing Murder, She Wrote. Walt thought it was the funniest thing he’d heard all day. This irritated her.

“Hey, it’s not funny. He could get hurt messing around like that.”

“What, someone’s going to run him over with their walker? He does have a German Shepherd to protect him now, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, a retired police dog who can hardly walk.”

She called Len. They argued for a long time, but she finally gave up and just told him to please be careful. She was not happy afterwards and she and Walt didn’t discuss it any further.

Dan called Cassie and asked if she wanted to help with his phone scam. She agreed immediately. He went over to her apartment on Saturday morning. She was taking a script off the printer.

“Wow, you’re really getting into this detective thing, aren’t you? Do you have lines for me, too?”

Cassie looked excited. “You’re playing the mark. Let’s rehearse this scene before we do the show.”

Dan read the script. “Ooh, you’re using cop lingo, too.” He gave her a nod. She tried to look officious and held her little finger to her mouth and her thumb to her ear.

Cassie said, “Hello, I’m calling from Volcano Telephone. To whom am I speaking, please?”

Dan said, “Who wants to know? Who are you, again?”

“I’m sorry, my name is Heather McCracken with the Volcano Telephone Company. We’re conducting a quality check in your local office, and your number came up on my screen.”

“OK, Heather McCracken, we get a lot of these unsolicited phone calls and our son tells us to just ignore them. So I’m hanging up now.” He slammed down his hand.

He laughed, “How’d I do?”

She said, “Let’s try that again. Hello, I’m calling from Volcano Telephone. To whom am I speaking, please?”

Dan said, “Who wants to know? Who are you, again?”

“I’m sorry, sir, my name is Heather McCracken, with the Volcano Telephone Company. I realize you haven’t reported any problems, sir, and if you’ll just give me a minute of your time, I’ll let you go on with your day.”

“OK. What can I do for you, Heather McCracken?”

“Can you give me your name and address, please?”

“Our son tells us to just ignore people calling us like this. So I’m hanging up now.”

She said, “Once more. Hello, I’m calling from Volcano Telephone. To whom am I speaking, please?”

Dan said, “Who wants to know? Who are you, again?”

“I’m sorry, sir, my name is Heather McCracken, with the Volcano Telephone Company. I realize you haven’t reported any problems, sir, and if you’ll just give me a minute of your time, I’ll let you go on with your day.”

“OK. What can I do for you, Heather McCracken?”

“I have a very old directory here that says you are James Harper at 466 Canal Street, Placerville. Is that correct?”

Dan hung up the phone. “OK, that might work. People can’t stand to hear themselves misidentified.”

She said, “Hah! Thanks, Dan. Are you ready?”

He gave her a thumbs up and she dialed the first number. He put his ear next to the phone. On the fourth ring, an answering machine picked up.

“Hello, you have reached the home of Fred and Delores Robinson. We are unable to come to the phone right now…” Cassie hung up.

Dan picked up his phone book and thumbed to the R’s. “Great, there are only about a hundred Robinsons.” He found “Fred” and checked the phone number. It matched. “Got it! Now the next one.”

For the second number, someone picked up. They gave each other the thumbs-up.

“Hello?” said a male voice.

“Hello, I’m calling from Volcano Telephone. To whom am I speaking, please?”

“This is Harry. Who did you want?”

Dan tried to keep a straight face as she said, “I’m sorry, sir, my name is Heather McCracken, with the Volcano Telephone Company. I realize you haven’t reported any problems, sir, and if you’ll just give me a minute of your time, I’ll let you go on with your day.”

“OK, what do you want?”

“Thank you so much. I have a very old directory here that says you are James Harper at 466 Canal Street, Placerville. I guess that’s not correct?”

“James who? No, I told you my name is Harry. Harry Redding.”

She had him spell that, then got his address. Cassie heard a voice in the background saying, “Who is it, Harry?”

Cassie said, “OK, thank you so much for your time, Mr. Redding.”

Dan motioned for her to give him the phone. She looked puzzled, but said, “Just a minute, Mr. Redding. My supervisor Mr. Densmore wants to thank you, too.” and handed it to him.

“Good morning, Mr. Redding, thank you very much for helping us out. May we send you a free $10 gift coupon for a local business as a token of our sincere appreciation?”

This time Cassie suppressed a giggle.

Dan verified the address again and then thanked him and hung up.