Unforgivable

An exploding pain blossomed from the center of my abdomen and extended to every cell in my body. Everything was a shade of black and white. I struggled to keep my vision steady as the edges of my world started melding together into a blur. I forced myself to ignore the melodious lulls of unconsciousness; I had a dreadful feeling that I wouldn’t wake up from that sweet bliss.

My entire world shrunk down to the excruciating pain emanating from my abdomen. I could hear a lone voice in the distance. I hoped that it would find its way to me. I hoped.

**

Reyna rushed from one still body to another, screaming their names. No one from her squad survived the attack aside from her. She mournfully looked down at her fellow compatriots and suppressed a wave of tears. There was no point grieving right now, she had to find survivors. She saw another attack on the truck ahead of them. She could only hope that someone managed to survive.

The car tires drooped into a muddle from the bullets shot into it. There was no using that now. Reyna grabbed her backpack and checked for her walkie talkie. She pressed the button down and spoke through, “This is General Keegan. There has been an attack on two trucks out at Zone A.” She swallowed down a sob, “Please respond.”

The only reply she got was static. She picked up another walkie talkie, and it was the same. She fought down her growing fear and cleared her mind. She had to do this in steps. Step 1: Find survivors. She could do that.

Reyna took her pack and walked towards the array of bodies scattered around the truck ahead.

**

The voice had stopped. Maybe she lost hope. Maybe she never existed. I guess there was no point staying awake.

No one was out there to save me.

Please, if you’re there. Please don’t leave me here.

**

It was worse than a massacre here. Bullets shattered through and turned every single one of them into ribbons. Reyna had a tough stomach, but the scene was too horrific even for her. She covered her mouth and tried her best to swallow down the acrid taste of the bile.

She turned to leave, and glimpsed one of them fluttering his eyes open. Reyna raced towards the young boy and examined him. His wounds were superficial aside from the gaping hole in his abdomen.

She removed her jacket and applied as much pressure as she could onto the wound. He had lost too much blood; it surprised her that he still managed to stay conscious.

His eyes fluttered open again, but they were unfocused. “Kid you’re going to be alright okay, but I need you to stay with me. Do you hear me?” His eyes wandered about, but still did not focus on her. “Kid! Blink if you can hear me.”

His eyes wandered a bit more and at last rested on her face, “You’re here.” A soft smile crept onto his pale face. Reyna had no idea what the boy was talking about, but she was well aware of the delirium that followed such fatal wounds. He wouldn’t last long if she didn’t manage to get him some help soon.

She prayed that the bullet avoided his major organs. She rummaged through her pack and found the tiny morphine needle. She liked to sneak it into her pack for emergencies; she didn’t think she’d really have to use it.

Reyna pulled back his sleeves and slowly injected it into his veins. His face immediately started to relax. He was going to be worse off later, but she hoped help would find them before it wore off.

She glanced around at the others, but she didn’t have to go to them to know that they were dead. Their truck was in an even worse condition. She was going to have to do this the hard way.

“Look soldier, you don’t have much time so I need you to cooperate as much as you can.” The boy’s eyes closed shut, then back open again. Reyna hoped that was his best imitation of a blink. She tied her jacket as tightly as she could around his abdomen, and wore her backpack forwards. She turned around to the boy and picked him up onto her back.

Reyna fumbled for a second from the dead weight and then gained her balance. She looked back and dreaded the long walk back to camp.

She took out her walkie talkie, “This is General Keegan, if you can hear me I’m on the dirt road in Zone A.” She sighed, knowing there was little to no chance that anyone was listening to her, “Come get us.”

**

She was real. She found me. I think she’ll take me home.

She took the pain away. I’m glad she did that. I think I'll just close my eyes and…

**

The boy’s breathing was steadier now, but his eyes remained closed. Reyna hoped it was just a side effect of the morphine and mentally willed the boy to stay alive.

The unforgiving sun beat down on her with an undying energy. She took tiny sips from her bottle to make the water last, ignoring her body’s cries for more. She had to get the boy to drink too.

Reyna was relieved when a crag interrupted the desolate road. She used the overhanging cliff as a shade and carefully laid the boy down onto the ground.

She immediately bent down and gently shook the boy awake. “Hey, you need to drink.” She carefully poured some water into his mouth and he greedily gulped it down.

She regretted leaving some of the bottles behind but the weight would have slowed her down further. “Kid how’re you feeling now? I bet the morphine’s starting to wear off.”

He grimaced as though he just realized this when she mentioned it. “Relax, the pain should be at bay for a bit more.” She smiled at him gently, “We’ll get help soon so don’t worry.”

The boy did not respond. He was most likely still delirious from the shock of the events. He was such a young boy, barely twenty years of age at the looks of it. She couldn’t help but conjure up her son’s face as she looked at him.

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes as he muttered something unintelligible. Reyna leaned in and held her ear over his mouth, “Please don’t…let me die…” His words were so soft, it almost felt like she imagined it, but the look in his eyes told her enough.

“I’m going to take you home okay? Don’t cry soldier. You’ll be alright.” His wound had bled through her jacket completely. She fisted up both her hands and applied pressure, but she knew her efforts would be fruitless. His wound was too grievous, all she could do was feed him lies and hope help found them soon.

The boy’s breathing became more labored by the second. She tried to lift him, but the bleeding increased rapidly the instant she removed her hands from the wound. No. Carrying would not be an option anymore. He wouldn’t make it.

**

The pain was back. But for some reason, it wasn’t as bad as I expected. Everything seemed just a little bit dull now.

She looked so sad. Even sadder than before. She was asking me something. I wasn’t sure if I answered her, but she looks satisfied.

She asked me something again. What was it? My name? Is that what she was asking? I think it was. Yes, I have a name. I could tell her that if it makes her happy. Yes, I could do that.

**

The sun teetered at the edge of the forsaken land. She realized this would be the last few hours this boy would ever experience; confused, delirious and regretful.

It was difficult to look at the dying boy, but she turned around and looked anyways. “The sunset is beautiful today, do you see it kid?” He gave her a small smile, which she took as a yes.

The boy went into a fit of coughs. Blood splattered out from his mouth, and Reyna numbly wiped his mouth clean with the back of her hand. He didn’t have long.

“I keep calling you kid. I think we’re close enough to exchange names don’t you think?” He gave what looked like a nod, “Well then I’m Reyna, what’s your name?”

He was quiet for a long time. His eyes stared up at the orange sky and flickered close. His breathing was getting shallower. Reyna knew his end was nearing as they sat there waiting for help that was never going to come.

The boy was so quiet; Reyna almost thought he was dead. She leaned in and could hear his soft breaths and it pained her knowing that this boy was going to die.

Then he fluttered his eyes back open, “My name …” his last words got snatched away by the wind. A look of surprise and betrayed was etched onto his face, as if he just realized his inevitable fate. Reyna watched regretfully as his chest stopped moving and his eyes glossed over.

The sun seemed to mock her as it extended its last few minutes of rays into a mesh of mesmerizing colors.

Reyna sat alone underneath the cliff, with the setting sun on her left and a dead boy to her right.