The lies we believe

"Fuck off and die, Jeremy!" I bellow as I harness all the rage I can from the depths of my soul. My brows knit together, and I grimace with all the concentration I can muster. 

The team-building exercise required of all the Post Apocalypse Survival Teams (PAST for short), myself included, will be the death of me. I'd had a corporate job before the Fall, so I've done these before on work retreats, but I fail to see the reasoning behind its usefulness now. 

Regardless, if I want to stay in the community, I must contribute, which means I must do this stupid exercise. But it also means that when Jeremy tries to cop a feel of my ass, I swing my elbow back and crack him right in the nose.

Even with blood gushing all over himself, he still doesn't drop me. Impressive. Hands grab my legs and I rise into the air. I grab the hands extended down towards me. This impossibly tall wall is the final barrier between us and the finish line. 

We aren't racing with anyone else, but there is still an air of competition surrounding the event. The most we could hope for is a personal record, but this is the first time anyone has run the course. That's not going to happen.

I survey the field from my perch on the giant wooden platform. The air is fragrant with petrichor and rotting flesh marinating in the pools of rainwater freshly fallen from the beautiful Pacific Northwest sky. A slight breeze cools the sweat coating my skin as the clouds give way to the barest hint of sunshine. Tree swallows swoop by as they serenade each other, giving off a false sense of serenity that most certainly does not exist in our world anymore. Nothing else exists anymore, just a few survivors like us mostly. 

I was lucky that early on in the aftermath that resulted from the world's destruction as we knew it, I came across this pocket of survivors. Not many people thought to search out shelter on a military base. Being raised by my mom as an Army brat, I knew a base was my best chance of survival: weapons, food, and shelter all in one place. A Holy Grail, Unicorn, and miracle all rolled into one. The type of tri-force that would make Link jealous. 

I gaze toward the far edge of the base perimeter and find smoke peeking through the mist, slightly darker than the low-lying fog and almost unnoticeable. I probably would have missed it if I hadn't been searching for anomalies.

"Odd,"  I mutter lowly, raising my hand to shield my eyes from the low light glare.

"What's odd?"  I hear from behind me. Whirling around, ready to battle and shove the person off the platform's edge and to the hard-packed earth below.

"Holy fucking shit Jeremy! What the hell are you doing, and why are you so close to me?"   I shriek while my raised hands form into claws by my head. I clench and unclench them quickly like I'm trying to refrain from clawing my face off. If I'm honest, which I always am, I would much rather be clawing his face off. But for the team's sake, I keep my hands to myself and save the maiming for another time.

"Well, Mel, first of all, if you would have noticed, the rest of the team is already done with the obstacle, I'm the last one, and I've been waiting for you to drop down to take up the rear. Second, this platform is barely fit to hold three people, so that's enough for you, me, and a little space left over for comfort. So relatively speaking, I'm not close to you." He replies with a smirk.

Smug fucking asshole. Even with blood running from his nose and soaking his shirt, he looks oddly triumphant. Like he won the ultimate prize when he successfully caught me off guard.

With a quick turn, I dismount from the obstacle and join the rest of the team at the finish line. He asks questions once Jeremy calls for quiet and debriefs on our stats from our course run. Finally, I raise my hand and mention the smoke I saw at the edge of the base.

"I think we should check it out. We've been here for months and have yet to run-ins with other survivors. So it's probably nothing serious, but I also don't want to disregard the possibility that it could mean trouble." 

I cross my arms and sway slowly while thinking aloud so the others can understand my logic. The breeze kicks up my long auburn hair to tickle my neck. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Jeremy eyeing the movement and licking his lips. 

"Odds are that other survivors haven't been as lucky as we have. If they knew what we had, they would fight tooth and nail to take it from us. I don't want it to happen, especially if we were complacent and didn't take the risk seriously."

Dale, Jeremy's second in command, speaks up to second my concerns, and while they both start to brainstorm a plan, I start eyeing up the next obstacle. So far, we've managed to finish the cargo net ladder, the balance logs, an "under, over" weaving type log obstacle, and just now, the wall climb.

The next one looks like a bunch of ropes hanging across an empty swimming pool. It seems easy enough, but if you're not used to pulling your body weight, you'll sink like a stone once you grab the rope and swing. With the pool empty, that's going to do some severe damage.

An hour later, and it's lunchtime. I excuse myself to go back to my room and shower before heading off in search of food.

 My teammates and I go our separate ways for the rest of the late morning with plans to meet up for dinner at the dining hall in an hour.

I feel eyes on me as I make my short walk back to my room. Besides Jeremy and Dale, I don't know many of the others well. The three of us have been here the longest, with the guys had been here already when I arrived. All survivors have rooms in the same building since only a few blocks of the base are cleared of dead bodies and biohazards. The few other women and I have rooms down the hall to the left of the main doors to the second floor, while the men have rooms down the hall to the right.

Thankfully room assignments aren't set in stone, so if couples start to form, there are always options to move rooms around. Dale and I were quick to develop a tight bond when I first arrived. However, Jeremy didn't seem to like that very much. I think that is where some of his entitled attitude towards me started. 

Sometimes it feels like since Dale and I have a close relationship, there is a requirement to have one with him too, and that's why he's so quick to paw at me. However, his whole personality screams that he prefers to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

I'm through my door and almost have it locked when a foot wedges itself between the door and the frame. A hand wraps itself around the door and lightly pushes when I see Dales' head poke through the gap. 

"I come bearing gifts."  He singsongs while waving a bottle of vodka at me. My face lights up as I recognize my favorite brand. Dale is always doing sweet things like this. He knows my likes, dislikes, fears, regrets, wishes and dreams. He is always thinking of ways to make me smile, and I will always adore him for that.

I've always been down to have a good time, and as much as I appreciate the sentiment behind my gift, even I draw the line at drinking before lunch. 

I place the bottle in the mini fridge, take Dales' hand and lock up my room as we exit. We walk hand in hand to get lunch as we make small talk about nothing. I mention again the smoke I saw while at the obstacle course which causes him to stumble slightly. 

Holding my hand he pulls me to a stop as he turns to stand in front of me. Holding my eye contact he places his hands on either side of my face and whispers softly. "Mel, you need to forget about what you saw. We can't investigate, and we can't let the others go either." 

" I don't understand. Why not? They could be peaceful and need help. Even if they are scavengers, we have enough weapons and expertise that we could defend the base."  Our eyes connect, and trepidation replaces the dieing fire in my veins at what I see in his.

His head shakes slowly, and his thumbs gently caress my cheeks. "Mel, you haven't been off the base since you arrived, and that's been months. You haven't seen what's out there, and no survivors have come yet. I don't think there are any left near us. I don't think many would have survived between the collapse, flooding from the rains, and lack of food."

When he pauses I remain quiet. I give him a questioning look as I don't understand where this conversation is going. His eyes move from mine to glance over my shoulder, focusing on nothing as he starts to ramble nonsense. 

"Jeremy and I were alone for a few weeks before you arrived. At night we would often hear drum beats and music coming from the direction where you saw the smoke. A soft glow would appear through the trees, and as we peeked over the perimeter fence towards the area we would see shadows moving. We didn't think much of it at the time. We were excited to meet other survivors that somehow managed to not be affected by the fallout like us but not once did we see an actual human being."

I move to sit in the grass and think about what he's told me. There was every indication that what they saw was real. It was early after the fall so that could either mean they were hallucinating the vision, or the survivors were skilled at hiding. Either way, what Dale and Jeremy saw spooked them enough to vow never to investigate.

Dale folds himself to sit next to me and takes my hand in his. In the months since I've known him there has been this undeniable attraction. Physical and mental. He has this charm that is hard to find in other men. He's great to talk to, about inconsiquential topics or philosophical ideas. I've always found intelligence to be an aphrodisiac. I could listen to him rant about the price of tea in China and he would make it seem like the most interesting conversation based on how passionate he gets alone. 

He looks at me like he's about to tell me something sad, like he kicked my puppy. Or that Jeffrey Dean Morgan preferred men. Both would completely shatter my already withered heart. 

"Mel. Babe. I've heard the same story from another survivor. Only one out of all who joined us has seen an actual person at that camp. He was so scared by what he saw though, he was phsycially shaking as he told Jeremy and I the story." He paused to take a breath and steel his nerves before continuing. "A creature that looked human chased him. Scared for his life, he ran until he looped halfway around the base's perimeter. That was the night he arrived. Do you remember?"

Of course I remembered. That night, our lookout at the gate called Dale on the radio while we were grilling dinner on the patio with Jeremy. His panicked voice set off alarms in all of us as Jeremy and Dale sprinted to the gate. After assessing the situation the newcomer was let in and taken to the infirmary where I met him. 

His deathly pale and clammy skin immediately told me he was in shock. He was so frightened by what he saw I had to sedate him. The next day he couldn't remember anything. The events of whhat happened with him weren't given to me. It wasn't pertinent to treating him so I never thought to ask. One thing I do know though is that whatever triggered the collapse of civilization also seemed to have created something new. 

In all of the movies, tv shows, and books that depicted an apocalyptic event, this truth is nothing like theirs. There is no hope. No savior. No scientist that holds the cure for a rampant disease. One that cracked the key to reverse climate change. A farmer that found a way to grow crops despite the harsh environment. No. Only the minuscule lowly average person can save us. We can only save ourselves. 

The sky that was blue and bright what seems like only moments ago is now overcast in dark grey ominous clouds. Flashes of lightening spark up the night and my mood turns dark. A sense of foreboding fills me. Between what I saw, what Dale just told me and the sudden change in the weather, I want nothing more than to slip into the tranquil sea of oblivion.