Have We Met?

Have We Met?

By Heather Ann Martinez

There are times in our lives when days turn to weeks and we do not notice that a handful of years became decades in the blink of an eye. Aryan never forgot Zara. He saw her in the constellations in the night skies. He sat behind her in math class throughout their elementary school years. He picked her every time in physical education classes well into middle school. He would say her smile was infectious. She always had a kind word. She rarely got upset and never saw her cry. Aryan was taken aback not just by her beauty, but by the way she handled every problem that came her way. She was not all that great with math formulas but always figured out a way to learn each equation.

Not too long after high school started, Zara announced to a number of friends in the cafeteria that her family would be moving away. She didn’t know exactly where they would be moving to but only that she would have to attend a different high school. She would be far enough away that she could not commute. Aryan was heartbroken and devastated. He had grown more fond of Zara with each passing day, and he took for granted that they lived in the same zip code most of their childhood. He didn’t recall exactly what Zara said to him if anything about leaving, about staying in touch. One day she was there and the next day she was not. Aryan blinked and high school was over. He blinked again and was about to submit his doctoral thesis. He never forgot Zara’s smile or the way that she treated everyone. She was always so giving and always thinking about other people. He had been given her address before she left in high school, but he could never bring himself to write to her. He had a crush on her and he did not know if she ever felt the same way about him. Aryan always imagined that they had meaningful conversations but most days in math class Zara asked him if he had a sharpened pencil or an extra sheet of paper. Zara often forgot to bring paper to class and broke pencils daily.

Aryan never noticed that she was disorganized and had a lot of difficulties with keeping up with the other students. All he saw was her smiling. He never met anyone like Zara after high school or in his undergrad. He was focused on obtaining an engineering degree and decided he wanted to teach while getting his master’s. Through mutual friends, Aryan heard that Zara would be moving back to their community. He didn’t know when or what she would be doing. He didn’t care. All he knew was the girl that sat in front of him would soon be returning. He wrote out several scenarios in which he would run into Zara and thought of questions to ask her. He didn’t want to bore her with his academic life. He wanted to know what her favorite flavor of ice cream was. He wanted to know if she was happy and hoped to find a deeper connection than when they were children. Their mutual friends warned him not to expect to see the same Zara. A lot more time passed than he realized for her. Her journey had not been an easy one.

At first, Aryan didn’t care. He didn’t know what could have happened to Zara that would make her any different from the person he knew growing up. Then one day, he was leaving the post office as she was going in. He stopped her by pulling on her arm.

“Zara?” He asked.

“Have we met?” Zara replied.

“It’s me. Aryan.” He chuckled nervously and started looking at the floor tiles. He then looked up at her and realized she didn’t recognize him at all. “We went to elementary and middle school together. You sat in front of me in math class for years.”

“Sorry, I don’t remember you. That was a really long time ago. I moved away in high school.”

“Well, maybe we could go out to dinner and we can talk about it over a glass of wine.”

“What? No, I am sorry. I really don’t know you. I’m not comfortable going to dinner with a complete stranger.”

Aryan was crushed. Zara looked at him with a blank face. He tried to tell her about the friends they had in common. She made some excuse about needing to leave and walked out of the post office. Aryan knew she hadn’t even finished whatever task she needed to at the post office. He scared her. Nothing he said was familiar to her. It was as if she had encountered a ghost from a past she had not remembered living. It was a past he kept holding onto. He had hoped to impress Zara somehow. He couldn’t believe she thought their childhood was that long ago. They were only turning thirty-five in a few weeks. Aryan followed Zara out of the post office. He feared this would be his only chance encounter of meeting her.

“Zara, please wait a minute.”

Zara faced Aryan. Tears streaming down her face.

“I don’t want to remember.” She pulled up the sleeves of her sweater. Tiny scars lined both sides of her forearms. Aryan took a step back. Tears welled in his eyes. What happened to this beautiful creature he always thought was happy. “Do you know how many years I did this? Do you know why I broke all of my pencils? It was to hide my razors. Why do you think I always asked you for a new pencil? Why do you think I always smiled in your direction? I was broken Aryan.” Zara’s voice began to crack. “I almost didn’t pass eight grade and high school. High school with you and everyone not only passing but exceling. How many awards did you get by the time we reached the first week of high school?” Aryan recalled seven.

Zara continued. “I couldn’t handle it. I cut too far one night and ended up in the hospital. Then my dad got a job transfer and we moved away. I was finally free. Free from you and all the other perfect smart kids who were going to make their perfect mark in this world. I’m not like you Aryan. I never was.”

“I could have helped you Zara. Chelsea, Zoey, Marvin, we all would have helped you. Let me help you now.”

Zara pulled her sleeves down and wiped her nose with one of them. Tears were still streaming down her face and long strands of hair were blowing in the wind. She shook her head. “It is too late for me Aryan. I’m a mess. You don’t have to see me anymore.”

“You said that before.” Aryan started.

“When did I tell you that?” Zara said.

“The day you left high school.” Aryan pointed to the high school staircase. “You were standing right over there.”

“I don’t remember telling you that. I don’t really remember a lot about those days.” Zara began to weep.

“Let me buy you a cup of coffee and we can talk about it.”

Zara looked at Aryan and through a tear stained face, she smiled. They began walking toward the coffee shop on the next corner.