When the color has gone

Nadia looked up at the sky as she drove to work—gray AGAIN. She used to love to watch the sunrise—the most beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and pink, bordered by blue in an ever-changing variation of shades. Now, there was little point in watching sunrises or sunsets for that matter, the sky was gray with white, puffy clouds, and it was all rather dreary. 

Nadia checked the clock, 7:30 am. She was running a bit late again. She muttered to herself as she felt a bit anxious that she might not arrive in time for her students. It had just been so hard to get out of bed that morning. Gray days were never her favorite. 

However, she did make it—just in time—and was saying good morning to her fourth grade class. “Good morning, Miss Johnson!” her students replied to her, and the day began! Reading, math, and science…finally it was time for recess. Nadia loved her students, but she felt exhausted already. Two of her students were really struggling with the new science concepts, and one of them needed a lot of encouragement to read in front of the class. She plopped down on a bench by the playground and watched them run around gleefully. “Where does all that energy come from especially on a day like today?” She thought to herself. 

Nadia looked over to see Dakota, looking rather forlorn while gently rocking on the swing with her head down. Nadia sighed internally. Dakota had transferred to the school in the middle of the year and, while no one was unkind to her, she was having a very hard time making friends. She was quiet and shy. Her family had lived out of the country for the past couple of years and so she did not know anything about the television shows and popular toys the other children were often talking about. Nadia was really just hoping to sit and rest with her own thoughts for a little bit, but it was too hard for her to see Dakota just sitting there alone. 

“Whatcha doin’?” Nadia asked as she approached Dakota. 

“Nothin’” Dakota replied with her head still down. 

“Why don’t you play tag with the other kids?” Nadia motioned towards a group of children from several different classes that were running around rambunctiously and giggling. 

Dakota shrugged. “Everyone has friends but me, and they didn’t ask me.”

“Well, did you ask them?” Nadia pushed. 

Dakota shook her head. “No, I’m tried of trying. Anytime I try to talk to someone, I’m just…I don’t know…different. Then, they look at me weird, and then I don’t want to try anymore.” 

Nadia’s heart sunk a bit. “Well, you know Dakota, different isn’t a bad thing. If we were all the same, that would be super boring!”

Dakota looked up and stared at her blankly. “I’d like to be boring then.”

Just then, the bell rang, and Nadia had to gather her class to go back inside. The day continued without much of note—language arts, lunch, social studies, PE, and art. Then, all the children went home for the day. 

Nadia looked at her phone to see a text from a friend. Did she want to go to dinner tonight? Ahhhh….no. It sounded like way too much work. She texted the friend back and told her she would take a raincheck for another time. Nadia got home and realized she had forgotten to water her garden. She stared at the flowers as she watered them. They had been much prettier last year—full of colors like purple, pink, blue, and yellow. Now, they were white and gray. In fact, the world had been gray for what felt like forever, but maybe it was just a couple months? It was hard to say for sure. “It’s you again,” Nadia mused to herself. Periodically, her world would just go gray. Sometimes, she knew why, and sometimes she had no idea what prompted the change. She looked again at the grayish flowers—“Ugh I don’t want to water these things! But one day, they will have color again…I think,” she thought as she gently showered the plants with water. 

With a start, she realized it was Thursday. “Do I want to make some plans for the weekend?” She thought, as she stared out into the grayish sky where the sun was starting to set. She had just heard about a new hiking trail that was not too far from her that she had never been to before. Nadia was an avid hiker and loved the sights, sounds, and smells of nature. “Hmmmm that would involved getting out my hiking boots, making sure my hiking pants are clean, getting my water bottle ready, packing my backpack…Meh. I don’t know if I want to mess with all that. Maybe if sky is blue tomorrow, then I’ll think about it” she thought.

Nadia stared at the sky the following morning while drinking her coffee—gray, AGAIN. She just wanted to go back to bed but instead forced herself to think more about Dakota. She wished there was something she could do for the young girl. Since the other children in class were not actually being mean, she could not do much to correct them—after all, you cannot make someone be someone else’s friend. She thought about their conversation about Dakota wanting to be “boring” like “everyone else.” Suddenly, an idea came to her mind. “Would that actually work?” She wondered. “Well, there’s only one way to find out…”

Later in class, Nadia announced that they would be working on a new project that would cover several subjects, and they would all work on together for several weeks. The students would research a country and learn about its location, festivals, and food. They would print some pictures and prepare a presentation for the class on that country. It would be short—just a few minutes. But, the whole project would work on researching, using the computer, writing, and speaking. 

The class murmured nervously—speaking in front of the whole class would be scary! Nadia assured them they would all work on their projects together. Over the next few weeks, Nadia helped students find information for their presentations and prepare to tell the class. 

During one working session, Dakota excitedly raised her hand. “Look, look!” she exclaimed as pointed at a picture on the computer. “My mom helped me find pictures we took at the local marketplace near where we lived! Look at all the different colors of the booths! I used to love to count how many red things I could find whenever we went.” Nadia looked at the picture of the bustling market. There was people everywhere who appeared very busy, and there was gray—lots of gray. “That’s great,” Nadia responded “the class will love to see that.”

Eventually the time came for the children to take turns presenting to the class. Everyone clapped very excitedly when their friends walked up to the front. But, when Dakota walked up, there was very little clapping. Dakota took a big breath. Then froze. But only for a moment. They she started telling stories of the festivals and traditions of the country where she had lived for the past several years. She passed around pictures—not from the internet or a book—but pictures her family had taken. When the presentation was over, the children clapped enthusiastically. One student tentatively raised his hand. Nadia looked over surprised—there was not supposed to be a Q and A portion. She had not had the children prepare for that. “You don’t have to answer any questions, Dakota,” Nadia said. But, Dakota said she wanted to. She answered a couple questions before Nadia indicated they needed to move onto the next student. 

When they took a break for recess, Nadia noticed one then two children walk over and start talking to Dakota. After a little while, Dakota was involved in some kind of game with a group of children. “Good!” Nadia thought. She was hoping that the presentations might help the other children see that Dakota’s “differences” were interesting. She did not expect miracles overnight, but this was a good start. 

“I spy with my little eye something….BLUE!” Exclaimed one of the children.

“The slide!” Exclaimed another.

“Nope!” Said the first.

“The swings!”

“Nope!”

“The door!”

“Nope—the sky, silly!”

Nadia looked up. “The sky?” She thought. “No, the sky was still gray just as it had been for a long time. It would be nice if it were blue though” she thought to herself. 

The rest of the days of that week blurred together, and nothing much of note happened except that Dakota continued to have friends to play with. 

On Friday, there were parent teacher conferences, and Nadia went over Dakota’s progress with her parents. At the end of the meeting, Dakota’s mother surprised Nadia by giving her a big hug. As Dakota and her father started to walk down the hall, Dakota’s mother said “I know what you did. And, it made a difference, thank you.” Nadia was a little surprised and just managed to say “You’re welcome.” 

As she prepared to leave later that day, she thought about the conversation. She felt like she was just going through the motions a lot lately—trying hard to be a good teacher and definitely caring about her students—but the sky was gray and the world was gray and life was hard. Had she made a difference? As she thought about it a little more, she realized, maybe, just maybe, she had. 

As she mused, she stepped outside to walk to her car. And, as she looked up at the sky, she thought she saw a slight blue hue that she had not seen in a quite a while.