When I Leave You

"Mom got a new job, in Oakville."

Those words replay in my head like a popular hit song on the radio, but it’s a song that I hate and I desperately want to change the channel. Only I can't change it this time; we're moving and there's nothing I can do about it.

Honestly, there is something about moving to a new town and house that I’m excited about, not that I’d ever tell my parents that. No, it’s better they think I’m devastated about the move because I’m confident I can talk them into buying me a second-hand car to “explore” the new town with. I overheard them discussing it a few nights ago and I’ve been patiently waiting for them to tell me about it ever since. Though, they’ve been ignoring me and the subject of moving altogether over the past two days. I’m not sure if they’re fighting or if they’re done fighting with me about the move; either way, they haven’t brought up the topic of the car yet.

The house is quiet, I know it’s only me in the house. My parents opted to take our dog, Scott, to the hardware store instead of me. In truth, I don’t blame them. Scott is easier to handle than I am; he’s happy, energetic, and doesn’t talk back to them. Also, he’s not making them feel guilty about the move. The three of them are probably having a fun time at the store getting more packing boxes. And if I know my parents, they’re leisurely browsing the faucet and overhead lighting fixture aisles— their absolute favourite things to shop for. My dad, the plumber, can’t help himself whenever he walks into a hardware store. I can hear it now, “That’s what they’re charging for this! Outrageous.” Or, “We should get one of these, just in case.” The entire storage area under the stairs was filled with odds and ends for “just in case”. And the lighting, oh my word – mom can’t get enough with the lights. Modern, classic, rustic modern, and the list goes on – mom’s big on staying current with home ideas. I suppose it makes sense, after all mom is a realtor… she just had to get a new contract with a company in the city. Technically, it’s a great job. A lot of her existing clients are keeping her on and as mom puts it, “It’s a great opportunity to expand my clientele for luxury homes. This is a good move for all of us.”

Yeah? It’s a good move for us? You know what my parents continually keep forgetting about? Karen. My best friend.

And Toby, my boyfriend. But I’ve contemplated breaking up with him like four times this year already. I think he’s secretly into Jessica, that band geek in the grade ahead of us; whatever, she can have him. What she can’t have is my best friend.

Karen and I go way back. We first met over our mutual love for Dunkaroos; her parents packed her healthy snacks like cashews and mine packed me sweets likes Dunkaroos or Gushers. One day in grade two she came to my desk at snack time asking if I wanted to trade my vanilla sprinkle-dipped Dunkaroos for her grapes, I laughed and said no, of course. But, she stole my snack from my desk anyways and darted to the other side of the room and ate them before I could catch her. Initially, we hated each for a while after that. By the time we were in grade six we bonded at a friend’s birthday party and we’ve been inseparable since. The best part is that she lives only a few houses down the street, so I see her all of the time. But I guess that’s about to change.

Screw it. I’m not going.

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve said that in a day. Yup, I totally don’t blame my parents for taking Scott instead of me. I would have taken Scott over me. I catch myself being brat, I hear it when I talk to my parents. I don’t aim to be rude and unreasonable but it hurts to leave, I can’t leave Karen. Who am I going to talk to when I fight with Toby? Though, I guess I’ll be fighting with him less now that we’ll be breaking up soon. Now that I think about it, Toby hasn’t mentioned anything about staying together – not a word about a long-distance relationship, but what the hell, I haven’t either. Still, without Karen, whom am I going to talk to?

Who will go running with me on the trail behind our house? Oh yeah, I forgot already… I guess there won’t be a trail behind my house anymore. Okay, well who will go to the mall and semi-formals with me? Or pick out a new nail polish and read with me at the beach? Are there beaches near Oakville?

I hate this. I hate moving, I’m not doing it. There I go again, I’m spiralling. Maybe my parents are right, maybe I am being unreasonable. I’m only moving two hours away, Karen and I will still be best friends. But our friendship won’t be the same; she has other friends that she’ll grow closer to without me around, and I’ll have to make new friends. That is, if anyone will have me as a friend. I don’t make friends easily, I don’t like a lot of people or doing things outside of the house. I like video games, swimming, and walking by myself — not exactly friend-like material. But those are all things that Karen likes to do and we prefer to do them together; how am I going to find another Karen?

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

That would be Karen. Sure enough, I open the door to find a tear-stained face staring at me like I’m dying. Before I can sputter out a cohesive sentence I burst into tears. It’s only the two of us, together for the last time before I leave town this afternoon.

“I bought you something.” Karen announced after catching her breath and wiping the tears off her cheek with her sleeve.

I took the rectangle box wrapped in pink wrapping paper with an oversized white bow on top from her hands. I felt the unsteadiness of my shaky hands as I unraveled the bow. My jaw dropped at the gift inside the little cardboard box.     

“Karen!” I shrieked, “I LOVE it!”

With caution, I pulled out a delicate silver chain with a rose gold clasp. As I opened the heart-shaped locket Karen placed her hand on my shoulder and revealed a matching necklace under her turtleneck sweater.

“I bought two, so we will always be together.” Karen’s voice was softer than usual and strained; but I wasn’t judging her because I was too upset to even speak. So I peered down at the small photograph of the two of us playing on the swings when we were kids. I quickly closed the locket so my uncontained tears wouldn’t smudge the photograph.

“I’m going to miss you so much. I don’t know how I’m going to leave you.”

“When you leave you’ll still be with me. You’re my best friend, Maggie, that’ll never change.”

I managed to crack a smile smile, which faded quickly when my parents rolled into the driveway with a large orange and white moving truck.

Karen peered over her to shoulder to see what I was looking at and her brave smile also failed. Her eyes darted back to mine and a sinister grin sprawled across her face, “Brad asked me out.”

“What!” I must’ve looked flabbergasted because Karen looked shot me a disapproving glare. Brad, the biggest bully of our grade whom no one wanted to hang out with asked out my best friend.

“What did you say?”

Karen said nothing but her face pulsed with redness. She said yes, oh my.        

“Karen!” I scolded before my parents hollered for help. Karen winked and remained silent as she ran towards my parents with open arms to help carry the bright yellow hardware store bags.  

Karen diligently helped with loading up the moving truck with our possessions with firmly sealed lips, she was not going to talk about Brad – not yet at least.  

It wasn’t until we said our last in-person goodbye as I buckled myself into the back passenger seat that she finally confessed.

“I said yes, I’ll call you with all of the details.” She winked and shut the truck door.

I couldn’t stop myself from grinning, nothing was going to change between us after all.