Mike and Lisa

"To be, or not to be, that is the question."

"That is really the question now, isn't it?" I sigh despondently. Currently questioning my entire life.

"Oh God, Mags, not this again." My buddy Jeff hangs his head in his hands. "We had your existential crisis last night. All night, when we were supposed to be rehearsing lines." We are playing Ophelia and Laertes in our community theatre's production of Hamlet. He turns back to the stage to watch Patrick deliver his lines perfectly.

"Or to take arms agains a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them. To die-to sleep..."

Patrick was made for things like this. Once he steps past the wings, he literally becomes his character. Not in an egotistical way, he doesn't flaunt his talent. He simply just is. Off stage he's one of the nicest people ever, so you can't hate him. It's so annoying.

As if he can read my mind, Jeff looks back at me, waiting.

"I don't know why I am like this. I wanted to be a part of this production. More than that, I have always wanted a chance to play Ophelia. Yet, here I am...what am I doing?"

Jeff sighs. "Only you feel this way, Mags. The only thing I can tell you is to just get over your nerves. I know!" He says, quickly holding his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I know it's not that easy, but it also really is. Look at Patrick, I don't mean ogle him, but really look. What do you see?"

"For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause..."

I really do look at him. I can't help it, I ogle him a little, but I truly look. "He isn't bothered by anything." I say quietly to Jeff. "Anything. He just simply exists in life, and lets whatever is going to happen, happen." I lift my arms in an annoyed shrug. "He is the literal definition of 'go with the flow' or 'everything happens for a reason.'"

Jeff gestures wildly. "Thank you! Exactly. He just lets things happen to him, and morphs his life around it. He isn't bothered, or worried about what others are thinking. He isn't constantly going over what could possibly happen for every possible scenario." I am the one who hangs her head now. "Maggie, you're one of my best friends. I can be brutally honest with you, right?"

I look at Jeff through my fingers, nodding weakly. He laughs then continues his rant. "Okay, so when I say this, please know it is only coming from a place of love." I remove my hands, giving my friend a skeptical look. Worried about what is going to come out of his mouth.

"This is a stupid community show. It's for fun. That's all. People are not coming to this expecting the best actors from New York, or the West End. Folks are coming to this show for a night of fun. To see people they work with, or go to school with play act for two hours." He grabs my shoulders, and makes me look him in the eye. "Your anxiety, makes you the perfect Ophelia. Your shakiness, and jitters allow you to really give her a voice. That's not acting, that's all you. You only have an issue with the serious stuff, because you can't take yourself seriously. So no one is going to either, and you feel that."

I roll my eyes, and he shakes me. "Listen to me. You know Patrick. Is he as serious as he's playing right now?" I turn my head back to the stage, and listen.

"Who would fardels bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life, but that the dread of something after death..."

Shaking my head, I turn back to Jeff. "No, he is not that serious at all. Like, at all. He's a goober, a lovable goober, but a goober all the same."

Jeff has since taken his hands back, and stretches them wide. "Exactly!" He pronounces rather loudly. Loud enough that Patrick turns back in our direction, not breaking character, just giving us a weird look.

We both mouth our apologies, and lower our voices. Jeff continues on. "Patrick is a goober. He doesn't care about the inconsequential things. What people think about him doesn't matter, not when they are not important. Take me for example." He says gesturing to himself. "As I said, you are one of my best friends. You trust my opinion, right?"

"Well...I guess." I say crossing my arms.

Jeff has the audacity to look wounded. "You guess?" He waves his hands dismissively. "Never mind, I am going to ignore that." I laugh quietly while he continues. "Anyway, you trust my opinion. You care about what I think of you. You care about what your parents think of you. Do you care what Sharon the cashier at the corner store thinks?"

I shake my head. "What does Sharon have to do with any of this?"

"Exactly. What does she have to do with anything, except handing you back your change when you feed your soda addiction." I laugh a bit more loudly this time, earning another look from Patrick.

I cover my mouth, as Jeff pulls us both closer to the back of the stage. "What I mean to say is, these are just trivial things that aren't going to matter tomorrow. They aren't going to matter in two months. Your anxieties are coming from your own head, and this," He gestures to the stage where Patrick is finishing his monologue. "this is a way to escape them for a bit. Don't be Maggie playing Ophelia. Make someone else up. Create a character with no worries to get through this character. That's what I do. This isn't Jeff acting as Laertes. When I am, out there, I am Mike. He's a theatre buff with a special love for Shakespeare. So he really wants to do a good job."

Jeff takes my hands in his. "I told you to try out for this show because I wanted to have fun with my best friend. These will be great memories in five years, but only if you can learn to enjoy it. I Think the director, Mark, cast us as brother and sister because he saw our chemistry off stage."

Unable to help myself, "Oh you think we have chemistry?" I ask moving closer to Jeff. His response is to wrap my head under his arm, and ruffle my hair.

"Okay, you're going to stay there, until I am finished. Now," He says pulling me a bit farther back, because I am having trouble containing my laughter. "We are going to go out there, rehearse our scenes. We are going to do it as Mike and Lisa. Mike and Lisa love doing this kind of stuff. Mike and Lisa are both great lovers of Shakespeare, and want to prove that community theatre's are able to do him justice." He finally lets me go, and a give him a little shove.

Patrick comes back offstage, giving us both a look. "Once you guys are done, you have to tell me what was going on." Both Jeff and I give each other a look. Worried that we really ruined Pat's rehearsal. Then he says, "I hate missing out on juicy gossip backstage." He walks passed us heading toward the dressing rooms. "Break legs, guys!" He calls out before disappearing through the door.

Jeff looks at me, holding out his hand. "Ready, Lisa?" I can't help but smile. He always knows how to make me feel better.

I take his hand. "Ready, Mike."