The Blue of her Eyes

Trigger warning: implied necrophilia

“How’s the wife? She’s still with the newspaper right?” Miranda asked around her still steaming cup of coffee. How she was drinking it so hot baffled me and I continued to blow on my own, not wanting to deal with a burnt tongue for the rest of the day. The coffee shop was bustling, orders being yelled out one after the other; bright-haired and eyebrow studded baristas rushing back and forth behind the counter.

”She wouldn’t leave that job even if I begged on my hands and knees, she loves it too much. I just know it’s gonna kill her one day.” I chuckled, it was well-known that she was a workaholic. Even in college I could seldom drag her away from the library to go out for a cheap date. She was a cliché nerd in the best way and it drew me to her from day one.

”When does your vacation start? It feels like you’ve been preparing longer than you’ll actually be gone.” I finally was able to sip my drink, the bitterness steeping on my tongue making me wince. Everyone had always made fun of me for being the only guy they knew that took more sugar in my coffee than actual liquid. It wasn’t my fault that coffee tasted charred more often than not.

Miranda rolled her eyes, tucking a strand of strawberry hair behind her ear after getting a few strands stuck on her lip gloss. “Not for another two weeks, I’m practically counting down the hours. These night shifts are wearing me thin.” She had worked as a night nurse for a few months, finally completing her residency and securing a lucrative position. I knew she would be able to handle it, late nights were her calling card all four years we had studied together. She operated on an opposite schedule from me but our friendship endured despite the missed calls and cancelled bar crawls.

“How come you’ve never invited me over? I’ve only ever heard of Amelia in every conversation, I’d love to actually meet her.” She pressed, tucking a hand underneath her chin. I swallowed.

”Amelia’s very schedule-oriented, if we stray away from whatever she has predisposed in her head, she’ll flip out. Guests do not normally pan out.” I replied, the mug’s porcelain slipping against my moist fingers.

”Okay fine, I’m starting to believe she’s a figment of your imagination.” Miranda giggled, but the laughter didn’t seem to reach her eyes. “Are you still living on 48th and Berkeley? I thought they would have shut that place down by now.”

”It’s the only place we can afford. The newspaper doesn’t pay well and I’ve been stuck at Hidden Oaks without a promotion for longer than I’d like.” I said finishing the last of my coffee, a slight jitter entering my hands and I chalked it up to the caffeine.

The sun was setting by the time a cab pulled onto the corner, my hand stretched fully into the street to secure a ride. I despised the city. There never seemed to be a moment of peace; rushing cars, pedestrians always pushing you out of the way, and enough smoke and grime to seep into every pore on your body. I longed for the desolate plains of my childhood, early mornings wrapped in morning glories and warm sun rather than the blaring of police sirens. Unfortunately, I would never be able to convince Amelia of going back to where I grew up. She was too complacent and happy in the city to ever hear me out on the move. Her life had always been here; her friends, family, everyone she had ever known and I couldn’t live with myself if I caused her any sort of distress. She was the only woman who’d ever shown me any shred of compassion, loving me for the mess I always was.

The facade of our apartment was cracking, the foundation somehow still standing despite the multitude of possible safety code violations. Amelia always joked about OSHA employees quitting on the spot upon looking at our building. Anytime it rained even above a drizzle, it would slip through the covered hallways outside the units, gathering in puddles that would soak hanging pant legs. Which would ultimately lead to all the unseemly vile creatures like rats and roaches into warm kitchens. I’d spent countless nights unable to sleep due to the noise of skittering on our countertops and warped hardwood floors. Not to mention the mold, the stuff grew on every surface of that abominable place from the constant humidity.

The unit Amelia and I shared was towards the back of the building, closest to the dumpster and surrounding wooded areas which made getting rid of garbage very accessible. I knew she would be waiting for me, always wanting me to be punctual and wearing that smile that would light up every room she was in.

The first thing I was greeted with every time I entered our apartment was her smell; she wore the same perfume each morning, lilies with a hint of vanilla. Always sprayed behind each ear and a dash on her wrists, she had the routine down to a science. A shower first thing in the morning, followed by an unscented lotion, various skin care products applied to her face before applying a modest amount of makeup, get dressed for the day, and finally the perfume. Amelia was a simple woman, the same day being lived out one after another.

The second thing I could always expect from her was a kiss. Her lips plush against mine, sometimes a giggle would follow and her eyes would crinkle. Those blue eyes that commanded me from the moment I had first laid eyes on her.

I was studying at the library late one night, knowing my exams were readily approaching. The solitude of the space always comforted me and if I desired human companionship at any point, I would just watch those around me. There were only a few scattered souls there during the midnight hours and Amelia was one of them. She was hounding the books in front of her, eyes squinting even through the squared-off spectacles she wore. Pens, highlighters, and crumpled pieces of papers strewn about her workspace. She was dressed modestly enough I suppose, her tank top leaving not much up to the imagination as my gaze took in her form. Her legs were bare as well; a lone tattoo of a flower I didn’t recognize decorating her left ankle, wrapping around the delicate bones poking from underneath her ruffled socks. I was vehemently entranced, so caught up in my own foolish reverie that I hadn’t noticed her staring back at me. Oh those blue eyes. The depths of raging seas caught in them, like a siren’s song dragging me to the bottom of the ocean floor. Amelia was always a tease and had left soon after, no doubt keeping me on my toes from then on.

And there she was, sitting on the couch in front of the TV in our shared apartment. Her eyes were fixed on the screen but there was that smile, something that would always bring me from the lowest points in my life back to the surface.

”What would you like for dinner, my darling?” I asked as I headed to the adjoined kitchen, swatting a stray fly from my face. They loved to slip through the cracks in the window sills and I longed to get back to the hardware store to repair them knowing our complex maintenance workers never would. Amelia had replied that leftovers were perfect and I pulled the Tupperware from the fridge. A simple meal of chicken, rice and beans we had eaten a few nights ago.

That’s how we spent almost every evening together, dinner and our favorite television shows before ushering her into our bedroom and helping her take off her makeup and undress. She loved when I assisted her in doing things, relishing in physical touch and my usefulness as a husband. I loved it too, getting to admire her with every passing moment we spent together. We would exchange goodnight kisses before drifting off, every night wrapped in each other’s embrace.

Work was a reminder each morning that I had to leave my dear sweet Amelia behind at the house, but it delighted me to know that she was enjoying her work in a safe environment. She chose to continue her editing work at home rather than in an office so she could wait for me in the afternoon after my own shift ended. The dealings of death always fascinated me and mortuary school had opened up new possibilities for a fulfilling career. There were only a few funeral homes by the apartment and Hidden Oaks was an older building but stood fast.

”There’s three bodies down there for you to take care of. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Sarah called from a room down the hallway as I entered, keys still dangling from my fingertips. She was an older lady; short and stout, and finished her tasks with clinical efficiency. I had assumed she came from a typical nurse background at one point or another, rushing from one patient to the next.

The first body couldn’t have been older than a day, there was that signature coldness that seeped in but her muscles weren’t fully contracted yet. I ran my hands along her forearms, feeling for imperfections I would have to deal with later. She was a young thing, pretty, and I knew she had to have broken some hearts. Her hair was long, the blonde locks draping over her bare shoulders as I smoothed it out. Ample curves, a singular mole dotting the sensitive area right below her navel and my eyes drifted.

”Are you just going to stand there all day? We gotta get this moving. We have two more on the way from the police station.” Sarah lightly pushed me away from the girl in front of me and I hadn’t realized I’d been staring for that long. The room was frigid and goosebumps popped up on my arms as I attended to the older man to my left, leaving Sarah in her disapproving silence.

The rest of the shift was uneventful and I longed to leave work early to head home to my wife, knowing today was date night. Granted, our date nights consisted of take out at home rather than going out to a restaurant but we both looked forward to it every week. A cheesy rom-com on the TV, stolen kisses between spoonfuls of dinner, and love-making that sometimes would take place before the movie even ended. Amelia loved my spontaneity. I elected to only use my car to get me to and from work, not wanting to waste precious money on gas. The Honda waiting for me in the parking lot wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing car on the market but it got me from point A to point B and that’s all that mattered. The fabric on the roof was caving a little and a hubcap was missing, but she still had the best mileage compared to everyone else’s gas guzzlers clogging up the roads.

The first thing that alerted me something was wrong was the influx of police cars in the apartment complex’s parking lot. Red and blue lights flickered across the peeling paint of the building and I worried for Amelia. What if someone had hurt her? I rushed towards our unit, pushing underneath the newly set up caution tape, almost tripping over my feet. Officers stood in front of my door, stoically staring inside with their arms folded.

”What’s going on? Where’s Amelia?” I yelled upon approach and it was as if a switch had been flipped, two men grabbed my arms and twisted them behind my back, roughly shoving me to the ground. My knees scraped against the concrete and I shouted out in pain. Another officer rounded in front of me, Miranda in tow. Her face was impassive but fresh tears were tracking down her cheeks, clasped hands shaking.

”Is this the man you were telling us about ma’am?” The tall officer asked, a comforting hand on her shoulder. Miranda nodded, cold eyes searing into mine.

”I always had my suspicions about you Mike. You were always a little strange, but I didn’t know you were a sick fuck.” Her words were sharp, no trace of my friend left as she continued. “No wonder you didn’t want anyone to come over. You were keeping a dead body as a play thing, concocting your own disgusting meet-cute to fit in with the rest of us.” Miranda was escorted away, shoulders shaking with unrestrained sobs.

”What have you done with Amelia? Where is my wife? You don’t understand what you’re doing!” My voice was hoarse, I could feel the handcuffs being slapped on my wrists but I only worried about her. Two coroners rolled out a gurney, a white sheet laid over the top and I knew it was Amelia. The officers held me fast even as I scrambled against them, screaming for my wife. They couldn’t take her away from me, I had gone through too much with her. Her scent lingered as the gurney passed and a sob escaped my throat, the hint of lilies and vanilla I’d grown to love.

”Mike Sanders, you are under arrest for the abduction of a corpse as well as sexual abuse of a corpse. You have the right to remain silent-“ The officer's voice droned on with the speech I’d heard a million times on TV but my hearing was muffled.

Everything seemed far away as I was shoved towards a police car, sirens ringing out and onlookers crowding in the parking lot. Amelia was gone, they took her away from the only person on this godforsaken planet who cared about her. All of our time wasn’t enough and I longed to kiss her one last time, knowing it would never happen. The only thing I had left was her toe-tag hanging around my neck, bumping against my heart that only ever belonged to her.