Journal of A.

Day One…

I’ve decided to keep a journal of my time out in the darkness, as I cannot think of any other activity to take up the time. I’m only assuming this, but I believe it has been almost a day since my companions left me with the task of keeping our fire lit. It’s hard to keep track of days when the darkness still lingers, but I’ll try my best. 

In case my companions do not return and a stranger finds this journal, I guess I should address why I’m out here all alone in the snow tending to a fire by myself in the pitch black darkness. The scientists called it a “cosmic storm of unnatural proportions”, basically a gigantic cluster of stars and other space dust covering the sun and plunging our entire planet into freezing cold darkness.

The fire is staying strong right now, I just hope the winds don’t interfere. Currently the fire is the only light I can see, and the only way my companions will be able to find their way back to our little camp out here in the pitch black. 

I only hope when they return they’ll have found other survivors, other poor souls who made shelter during the storm and haven’t frozen yet. Maybe they’ll have more food besides canned chicken broth and beans, Lord knows I’m starting to get sick of it.

Luckily, I don’t believe any dangerous wild animals could’ve survived this cold. Southern California used to be sunny and warm year round, so the wildlife was definitely not prepared for this level of snow and ice.

Anyways, I have nothing else to do out here besides keep this fire going. As long as I don’t have to use this journal for kindling, I plan on updating it regularly. 

Freezing,

A.

Day Two…

Still no sign of my companions. I’ve taken note of each and every sound I hear until they come back, I’m hoping if they don’t return soon I might encounter other survivors. The only thing is, it seems to be completely silent out here. Besides the crackling of the fire, it’s amazing how quiet it seems to be. There’s no howling of wind, no animals, and no human life. If I wasn’t in a life or death scenario, it might be peaceful.

I’ve started listening to the radio, just to break the silence a little bit. Today, there’s no notable news on the recovery effort, just more reports on the dropping temperature. It’s almost laughable how they assume we haven’t noticed it’s like the polar ice caps out here, but I suppose all these big time TV personalities have super fancy high tech heaters. Would be nice of them to share with the rest of us.

 They’ve continued to play music on the other radio stations, which is nice. It’s just a repeating playlist over and over but complete silence all day would drive someone crazy.

I’ve become rather fond of country radio, not that it matters in terms of science, but this is my personal diary so I don’t care. All of the songs just feel like summertime and heat, and I find myself longing for a hot day on a boat in the warm water. I never liked country music, but damn if some of the songs aren’t catchy. My old coworker, Eliza, was originally from Tennessee. She used to listen to country music all the time, she even wore cowboy boots to work some days. We all used to tease her about it back then, but I’m beginning to understand the appeal. 

Maybe when this is all over I’ll start wearing cowboy boots myself, maybe I’ll even develop a southern twang of my own.

Slowly becoming a redneck,

A.

Day Three…

I almost lost the fire this morning. 

The wind picked up overnight, at least I think it was night. It was during the time I’ve designated as my sleep time. 

It was a very rude awakening, the howling of the wind sounded almost like a pack of wolves. I scrambled to my feet to throw in some more firewood. I can’t afford to let this fire die out for even a second, I can’t lose my only light out here in this darkness.

I keep having to remind myself that there cannot possibly be anything living out here in this cold. Creatures native to Southern California were not prepared for cold like this. But I can’t help but feel like something is watching me. I really hope I’m not losing my mind out here.

I’m trying to stay positive, I’ve turned the radio up as loud as it can go. Maybe if the fire goes out my companions will hear the radio. The news stations are now calling this a “second ice age”. It seems like scientists are starting to believe this storm is going to last longer than initially anticipated. I’m not quite sure how much science I’m willing to believe anymore, especially now that I’ve been isolated for three days (or nights, not really sure anymore).

When I was in college, I did a research project on a phenomenon known as a “Polar Night”. It’s an event that only takes places towards the North and South poles, where it’s essentially nighttime for more than twenty four hours. It’s kind of ironic to think about now, since it seems like I’ve found myself in an eternal Polar Night. 

Polar Nights are natural phenomenons though, this celestial storm however, feels anything but natural.

Cold and lonely,

A.

Day Four…?

I’m not even sure if it’s been four days exactly. It’s so hard to keep track of the hours when you can’t see the sun rise and set. It could’ve been a week since my companions left, but I have no way of telling.

Those weird howling sounds have gotten louder, and starting to sound a lot more lively than wind. There’s no way wolves could have made it all the way down from the north that fast, unless it really has been longer than I thought.

The radio is starting to go in and out, clearly it’s not built to last very long in freezing cold snow and ice. The news station stopped broadcasting last night, I guess they either froze or just didn’t feel like reporting on the same news every hour. Now it’s just me and my music, but the constant crackling of the audio is driving me crazy.

I hope I can see my companions again. I miss them so much. If I never see them again and somebody finds this letter, tell them I wish I had just gone with them.

Truth is, the only reason I stayed behind wasn’t just to guard a stupid fire. It was to safeguard the research we had written about the storm’s origins. My companion, June, was determined to find out where it came from. The research was so bare bones, I don’t know why it was so important to me to stay and continue it. I haven’t even touched it since they’ve been gone, I haven’t had a reason to. June is going to be so mad if she comes back and sees I died, and left not a single piece of research behind for her.

But that’s not going to happen, because I’m not going to die, and they are coming back soon.

Staying hopeful,

A.

Day Five…

Do you think scientists in Antarctica have thicker skin than those who perform research at the equator? Maybe they have more body hair or fat cells. Maybe certain people evolved to withstand the cold more than others, I certainly don’t have any of those genes that's for sure. Would've be helpful.

I wonder if the San Diego zoo has released its polar bears into the wild, it’s the perfect temperature for them now. Maybe that’s the weird growling sound I keep hearing from the pitch black darkness all around me. Nice to know they can rebuild their habitat.

God, I think I’m really losing my grip. 

Maybe my companions found other survivors and forgot about me. Maybe they thought about coming back for me but decided I wasn’t worth it. Maybe this fire isn’t tall enough for them to see from wherever they are. I guess I’ll have to add more wood.

The radio is completely dead, so silence and the howling of the wind (at least I hope thats what it is) is the only thing keeping me company. 

Still alive,

A.

Day Six…

I think I’m going to die out here.

My hands are so cold I think my fingers are going to fall off.

This fire even feels cold. I burned myself reaching out to it, I just wanted to feel something.

God help me, and please let them come back for me. I hope they’re still alive. I don’t think I can’t be alone anymore

There is something watching me. I can feel eyes on me, and I keep hearing this animalistic growling. This is not wind. This is something else.

My fire is dwindling, and I have nothing left to give it. 

When the fire goes out, I have no idea what will happen to me. So if anybody finds this, tell June I’m sorry for not collecting good research.

The growling is getting even louder now, almost as if it's right next to me.

I miss the sun. I miss the heat. I miss life.

A.

Day Seven…

All I can hear now is silence.

I’m still alive. I’m still waiting.

The fire is almost out.

God have mercy on my soul.

A.