A Camino morning

Amy never would have considered the sound of zippers closing on packing cubes, clothes being compressed in nylon dry bags, or ziplock bags with travel size toiletries being sealed as loud. However, just like the butterfly effect, where the smallest action of a butterfly flapping its wings could cause a storm across the world, the collective sound of multiple people conducting these small actions to pack their bags woke her up once again.

Amy reached into her sleeping bag and pulled out her phone to check the time. As expected, it was 6 am. She had stopped setting her alarm days ago, relying on this now familiar symphony of sounds to wake her up. She took a few minutes to stretch her neck and rotate her ankles, taking note of the persistent soreness throughout her body.

So her body was sore, she had been woken up earlier than she liked, and yet again failed to get her typically required 8 hours of sleep. But there wasn't anywhere else she wanted to be. She was in northern Spain fulfilling a life long item on her bucket list by walking the Camino de Santiago, a Catholic pilgrimage of medieval origins that culminates at the supposed tomb of Saint James in the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela.

Amy sat up from her top bunk and surveyed the scene before her. She was in an albergue, which were hostel like accommodations for those walking the Camino. She had spent the night in this albergue, sharing a bathroom and sleeping in a communal room with 11 other pilgrims.  

The word pilgrim originally had religious connotations, referring to someone who journeys to a sacred place for religious reasons. But Amy would say that she more fell under the first definition of pilgrim in the Merriam-Webster dictionary: ‘one who journeys in foreign lands, a wayfarer’. While there were still pilgrims who walked the Camino for its religious significance, many others currently walked for the physical challenge or as a spiritual journey.

While there are multiple routes or paths that all lead to Santiago, for her first Camino Amy had chosen to walk the most popular French route and started two weeks ago from Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port in France. She wasn’t sure exactly how long it would take her to walk the entire 800 km or 500 miles, but had tentatively planned to do it in 33 days. She was also lucky that she had a buffer built in, and could take a few rest days as needed along the way.

When she first shared her plans to spend over a month walking across northern Spain, the reactions she got from family, friends and colleagues were at two extreme ends. She either got a puzzled, almost horrified ‘why in the world would you do that’ response or an enthusiastic ‘I’m so jealous, I wish I could do it’ response. Undoubtedly, this would be one of the most challenging physical endeavors that she would face. However, Amy was hopeful that this opportunity would provide answers to the many life questions she was facing.

Having turned forty earlier in the year, perhaps she was going through the stereotypical midlife crisis. She left a comfortable yet unfulfilling corporate job the previous year, the same year in which a tumultuous 7 year relationship ended. Amy figured that without a job or other commitments, this was a good as time as any to walk the Camino and see if she could get some answers to her many life questions.

What should she do next? Where did she want to live? Did she want to go back to a corporate job? What else could she do? Who was she going to be now in her 40s? Would she find love again? Her entire life felt uncertain, a never-ending series of questions. Amy hoped that this Camino would bring her some answers and guide her towards a new direction.

Amy glanced across the room and noticed Carol was also sitting up in her top bunk. She met Carol a few days earlier when they both happened to stop at the same cafe and found themselves finishing their break around the same time. As it often happens on the Camino, they started chatting and walked together to the next town.

Carol was in her early 60s and from Australia. And as they walked, she eventually asked her why Amy had chosen to walk the Camino. This question was commonly asked and Amy had received it multiple times over the last two weeks. Knowing how many pilgrims walk for personal and spiritual reasons, in some ways it could have felt invasive to ask about the underlying reasons for choosing to walk the Camino. Thus, while some pilgrims chose not to answer or be more evasive, most pilgrims were quite open in sharing their reasons.

Amy had never been someone who easily opened up to those close to her, much less strangers but the Camino Amy seemed different. This may have been due to the shared connection she felt with her fellow pilgrims, knowing everyone was facing their own physical, mental, and emotional challenges each day. Or perhaps it was the freedom from knowing that she might never see this person again, creating a sense of distance that allowed her to open up. Perhaps it was a combination of both. Whatever the reason, Amy confided in Carol, sharing that she felt like she was embarking on a new chapter in her life.

In return, Carol shared that her mother had passed away the previous year. Carol was walking in Spain to not only grieve the loss of her mother but also to address the guilt she felt regarding the last years of her mother's life. Her family had made the difficult decision to place her mother in a care facility, and Carol was still grappling with the guilt of whether she could have or should have done more.

Upon seeing Carol descend the ladder of her bunk bed and begin packing, Amy was stirred from her thoughts of their previous conversation and decided to do the same. After heading tot the bathroom and packing the few remaining unpacked items into her bag - the ones she had used overnight and that morning - Amy headed downstairs to the communal kitchen.

***

It was 6:30 am, but the room was already bustling with pilgrims starting their day. Amy had already met several of the other pilgrims the previous night, when she joined the communal dinner offered by the albergue. Whenever available, Amy always took the opportunity to join the communal dinner as it was one of the best ways to meet others and share in the sense of community that she loved most about the Camino.

Amy took a seat at one of the tables to have some tea and began peeling the tangerines she bought the previous day. She would still stop somewhere along the Camino an hour or so after walking to have her first real breakfast, her now beloved cafe con leche and a croissant or pastry of some sort. She also wondered whether this would end up being a two breakfast day, where she would stop again around 10:30 am or so for another caffeine injection and something more hardy, perhaps the Spanish tortilla, an omelette made with eggs and potatoes.

She focused her ears to pick out the various conversations going around the lobby and kitchen in Spanish, French, English, Italian and German. One of the things she has loved most about the Camino is the international diversity of her fellow pilgrims. Despite having hiked numerous popular trails around the world, Amy has never encountered such a diverse group. During her two weeks on the Camino, she has had the opportunity to meet and converse with people from all six continents.

As she ate her tangerines, the sweet older couple she first ran into a week and a half ago entered the kitchen. The first time she saw them was as they walked out of Pamplona, which they did so while holding hands. The subsequent times she ran into them, they were always walking while holding hands. Thus one of her fellow pilgrims had given them the nickname ‘Hand-in-Hand’ and this perfect nickname was already beginning to be more widely used for this couple. She didn't even know their names yet she greeted them with a 'Good Morning' all the same.

In contrast, Amy thought about some of the pilgrims who she had never seen again. She thought of the retired New York City cop she met on her first night. The first day on the Camino Frances isn’t an easy one, as it requires crossing the Pyrenees mountain range into Spain and she was exhausted after walking almost 30 km, or 18 miles with a body that would require another week to adjust to these new physical demands. Despite her exhaustion, she had been throughly entertained during the pilgrim dinner by John, who recounted his first day with a great sense of humor.

John had gone through an even more difficult first day than most, mainly due to the fact his pack weighed 20 kgs or about 44 pounds, which was roughly twice the weight that most pilgrims were carrying. Halfway through dinner John proved to her just how difficult this extra weight had been by showing her that his fitness tracking watch noted his body had been in stress mode for 92% of the day. Despite his physical and mental exhaustion, John was an engaging dinner companion and she strongly advised that he should lighten his load by sending his non-essentials ahead to Santiago.

The next morning Amy ran into John as she was leaving the albergue. He handed her a chocolate candy bar and told her “A little something for you to enjoy along your Camino today”. Her expression couldn't hide her surprise at this unexpected gesture, so John added “You’d be doing me a favor, help me lighten my load”. Amy thanked him for his kindness saying farewell by wishing him a “Buen Camino”. John responded with his own “Buen Camino”, the ever-present greeting used to wish a pilgrim well on their journey.

Almost two weeks later and she had yet to run into John again. She wondered if he had taken her advice and was doing better by walking with a lighter pack. People came into and out of her Camino with no apparent rhyme or reason. Rationally, she knew this made sense as pilgrims walk and take rest days based on their own fitness levels, time commitments, and personal preference. But was there some other reason why she kept running into some pilgrims while others were one time conversations? Was this was another one of those Camino life lessons she was supposed to figure out?

Amy cleaned up her tangerine peels and got up to fill her water bottle. As she packed up, she considered that she had no idea what would happen today. Whether she liked it or not, the Camino was forcing her to be comfortable with uncertainty. All Amy knew was that she would spend just under 7 hours walking 25 km today, but that’s all that was guaranteed, if at all. She thought about everything that she didn’t know ahead of her:

• What would the landscape look like as she walked today? What towns and villages would she walk through, would she stop to visit any of the many churches along the way?
• Where would she stop to eat and rest today? How long would it be before she was able to have her first coffee? What else would she eat today?
• How would her body and feet feel? What thoughts would be going through her head during the times that she walked alone?
• Who might she meet for the first time today? Would she see any familiar faces today? What kind of conversations would she have with her fellow pilgrims and how would they impact her?

Amy had to put aside all her bigger life questions and allow these more immediate unknowns to take center stage. As she stepped out the front door to take her first steps of the day, she said to herself “Let’s find out”.