Am not your son, sociopath!!!

I was standing at the stage of the small prison comedy club. That being my second year in prison, I was no longer a scared man. I was even in a gang. Mostly for protection and sometimes other perks. I wasn’t afraid no more. The hatred and vengeance that had flooded me during my hearing and conviction was no more. In fact I didn’t wanna leave prison. It was my new home. Crude and without freedom but a home. Either way, I had no one to go back to.

That day I was the resident comedian. It wasn’t easy to get comedians to go entertain convicted felons so an internal club had been instituted. But that was way long before I was incarcerated. The entertainers were prisoners themselves, sometimes with wardens too. The audience ranged from inmates to wardens, their families and even the inmates’ visitors who were lucky enough.

“I begun my relationship, being single, in mummy’s womb when my twin quit on me. “The audience chuckled slightly. “ Well, after birth mum didn’t wanna breastfeed me. She said that we should take things slow. “ The wave of laughter in the audience was bigger this time. “So typically I continued with my life being terribly single. I am here in prison still single and I usually fantasize about having sex. With someone else. Female. It’s awesome, so I have heard “

The crowd of inmates was now freely laughing. I laughed a little too. “ I tried dating sites. Met Amanda who turned out to be possessing a dick definitely way bigger than mine, a beard and definitely no boobs. “ I paused to let the laughter subside.

“I am still looking for a person. Not a man. All these candy can’t be handled through pummeling if you know what I mean. On a lighter note, if you are single please call me. Not you inmates. Talking to the demons in my head since I can’t talk to girls “

***

“You were great on the stage kid. Keep that up and I might be inclined to make your life here more comfortable, “ warden Mami told me. I smiled sweetly like I always do. To be honest I kinda blushed slightly.

Now I remember that moment and regret having smiled. I regret having believed that Mami had been dishing out me favors just because of my comedy. Or rather correctly I hate to remember that day, the day a curse befell me. Not literally.

The following months I was so living the prison dream. I was exempted from routine duty. Cleaning floors and toilets I mean. I was transfered to the kitchen. I had twenty four hour access to food. And trust me it’s no mean feat considering it took more than three years of good behavior to be in the kitchen. I can even swear I started to grow fat abit. Don’t dare say anything about it, I am sensitive.

The kitchen space was superb. No guards down our backs. The only undoings were the betting platforms ran in the back of the kitchen and also the rumors that got created there. I always thought of it as the prison’s information superhighway.

It started as a rumor that Warden Mami had had his son framed for a murder and thrown into his prison so that he could be near him. Since it’s inception, the rumor had grown and all murder prisoners including myself begun doubting ourselves.

Life went on normally despite the rumor until a prisoner, Askeye who was stationed to clean the warden’s offices stumbled on to some incriminating information. Unlucky for him, he got into the cross hairs of Mami and was indefinitely banished to solitary.

“Hey Ng’ang’a, you realize that you are Mami’s son don’t you? “Mwansi, a rough fellow bellowed from behind me one day during kitchen shift.

“I am not! I know my dad and my mum. I killed them myself that is why I am in this prison. So stopping messing with me,”I answered him still busy.

“Are you sure you killed them? “

“Yeah I do. I am not nuts. I know what I did! “

“If you want to know the truth go to Mami’s office bottom left drawer, the last folder titled 12/09/15.Thank me later. “

His words must have gotten into my head pretty hard. Mami’s son? How about mum and dad?

I had been a normal kid living his life. I was in my senior year of high school. Mum and dad were pressuring me to get the grades to get myself a good college. It was extreme and we sometimes got into small fights. Nothing serious though.

A month before the final papers of my highschool, mum said she had something to tell me. She said that it was a big deal and I had to promise not to tell anyone. That was the last thing she ever said to me since I butchered them both with her kitchen knives an hour later.

One way or another I found myself engrossed in the rumor. This time feeling scared I might not be who I really was. I gathered every tidbit of the rumor. I had so much information about the “alleged “ son than anyone would care. I guess Mwansi’s highly unneeded information made me think of something other than the despicable prison life. It’s also then that I missed dad and mum.

I may not have been the perfect son, but I loved my parents so bad. How I killed them has never occurred to me. Dad usually took me to his boy group where we smoked cigars and drank beers talking about lots of nothings. I was the only kid in that group. On the other hand mum always booked us couples massage every once a month. It was gross but it was our thing. We never ever got into big fights. They were proud of me. Why else would they have bought me, a nerdy slob zaea car and set up an account for my allowance till I turned forty-five?

***

The folder 12/09/15 lay on my lap. Opened with some papers tear stained. I was frozen. My mind was blank. My mouth dry. Tears just dropped slowly one after the other from my blank staring eyes. I felt the breath sap out of me. My body let go and I slumped and fell on to the tiled cell floor. The folder fell just beside me spewing all of its contents.

I don’t remember anything about it but I recall lying on the floor and everything going black. I woke up in the infirmary. On a linen dressed bed with all the beds around mine occupied. Several tubes were coming out of me.

I was in the infirmary for two weeks until I decided I wasn’t going to stay despite the threats. I had to confront my demons. Not mine necessarily but the demons that were messing with my life. It was gonna be difficult but I was determined to.

***

“I don’t believe you. Why did you do it. Did it ever occur to you that I loved Jocie and Manu? As far as I am concerned they are my parents, then, now and forever! “I said to Mami pacing his office. I was so pissed and shocked all at the same time. I could have strangled him but I didn’t feel like it.

“Sorry kid. I didn’t think you loved them. When you were born, your mum died and I was devastated. I was a rookie warden then and I was so aggrieved that I didn’t trust me to raise you myself. Jocie and Manu were looking for a kid to adopt. Instinctively, I gave you to them. I have been in your life since that day I gave you away. I attended your eighth grade graduation. I watched you play soccer at Ligi Ndogo. I even came to your sweet sixteen birthday.

I would’ve continued to be in the shadows until I caught Jocie cheating on Manu. I was mad. I didn’t want you to be brought up in a broken home. I decided it was time to have you back kid. Trust me. I did everything because I love you so much and I wanted the best for you. I wanted to protect you from the world. Apparently I seem to be doing a great job.

I ordered a hit on your adoptive parents and framed you for their murders. I pulled several strings and had you put in my prison. You didn’t kill them. I had your memory altered. I did it for you and also me. My efforts paid though. You are here with me. “He said innocently. I was going to lose it right there and then but I forced myself not to.

“Am not your son you sociopath!!!!!! Never!!!! “