Wilde, Wilde, West, and Associates

Wilde, Wilde, West, and Associates

By

Victoria Hatton

“Wilde, Wilde, West, and Associates. This is Annie. How may I help you?”

“Hi. Ummm…is my lawyer there? Patrick…Mr. West?”

Annie instantly recognized the caller’s voice. Mr. Holliday. He had been in litigation for divorce and child custody for a year and a half. He had a bit of a short temper, but he was by no means the worst client Patrick ever had.

“No, I’m sorry, he’s out of the office right now. Would you like me to transfer you to his voicemail?”

An exaggerated, annoyed sigh.

“I guess. Yeah. Yes please. Thank you.”

Annie pushed the buttons on the phone to send the call to voicemail, then sat back and took a swig of her iced coffee. It was slightly watered down from sitting on her desk for an hour and a half while Annie was constantly interrupted by the phones, but it still titillated her taste buds and whatever neural receptors in her brain that triggered dopamine. Annie’s dad made fun of her obsession with “froo-froo” coffee, but the crazy bastard drank hot coffee even in the summertime when it was over 100 degrees. She barely had time to swallow the liquid delight before the phone rang again.  

“Wilde, Wilde, West, and Associates. This is Annie. How may I help you?”

“Hey, I just called and you transferred me to Patrick’s voicemail, but it says the inbox is full so I couldn’t leave a message. Does he have another number I can call?”

“He’s actually in court right now, but when he gets back to the office, I can let him know you called. What is your name please?”

Annie pretended that his voice wasn’t memorable to her (and everyone else in the office) because of his short-tempered shenanigans.

“Kevin Holliday. He’s supposed to be in court right now but he’s not here. I’ve been waiting at the courthouse for over half an hour. I guess it doesn’t really matter since court isn’t open yet. The judge is running late, too. This is such bullshit…”

Annie had another swig while Mr. Holliday continued his rant. It wasn’t unusual for Patrick to go straight to the courthouse when court started at 9:00, so Annie didn’t think twice when she didn’t see him in the office this morning…until now.

 “I pay Patrick a shit-ton of money and he can’t even show up to court…”

“Mr. Holliday, I’m really sorry he’s late. I’m going to call around and see what’s going on. He’s probably stuck in traffic or something. Just hang tight and he should be there soon.”

Mr. Holliday was still ranting and spouting expletives when Annie hung up. Annie sent a text message to Patrick, then rewarded herself for her excellent customer service by taking another big swig of her coffee. It was half water by now, but Annie counted that as part of her water for the day. Hydration is important, especially when you live in the desert.

***

Patrick was having a hard time concentrating on what the man was saying (or rather shouting maniacally). The situation unfolding in front of him deserved his undivided attention, but he was too distracted by the smell of his own piss and the nagging wetness in his pants to fully appreciate the gravity of the situation. Not to mention the embarrassment of having peed his pants in front of the man. Technically, it was the man’s fault Patrick wet himself; that’s what happens when you shove a gun in someone’s face.

At first, Patrick thought this was a run-of-the-mill home invasion. He told the man to take whatever he wanted, just don’t hurt him. The man shoved Patrick onto the couch, pointed the gun in his face again and told him to shutthefuckup or he would kill him. It was then that Patrick recognized the man and he knew this was no ordinary robbery. Patrick would have preferred a simple robbery.

“Mr. Kidder, what do you want from me?”

“Oh, so you do remember me?”

William turned away from Patrick and picked up a vase from the coffee table.

“Do you remember how you ruined my fucking life?” William hurled the vase across the room and picked up a picture frame with Patrick’s wedding photo in it.

“I went to prison because of you.” *Smash*

“I lost my kids because of you.”

William re-aimed the gun at Patrick with more forceful intent.

“I’ve been rotting away in prison for eighteen months while you’ve been free to ruin more people’s lives. Now it’s your turn to suffer.”

***

Annie gave up on ever finishing her iced coffee. The phones had been ringing off the hook with people asking where Patrick is, why is the courtroom closed, where is the judge. Annie would have asked Mr. Wilde, Sr. and Mr. Wilde, Jr. if they knew what was going on, but they were both on vacation. They always go to the mountains in June to escape the desert heat. After sending three text messages to Patrick with no response, Annie called the courthouse. 

“Hi Kate, it’s Annie, Patrick West’s secretary. Hey, have you seen Patrick come into the courthouse this morning? All of his clients are calling us saying he hasn’t shown up.”

“No, I haven’t seen him. We’re having issues of our own over here. Judge Bean hasn’t shown up and we can’t get a hold of him, so his bailiff is on the way to his house. It’s really weird that they’re both missing.”

“Yeah, it is really weird. Let me know if you hear anything, OK?”

Annie locked up the office and left to go to Patrick’s house. If he was OK, she would get a fresh iced coffee on her way back to the office.

***

It didn’t take long for William to run out of things to throw (mostly mid-range home décor from Cost Plus World Market) but he continued to yell and wave his gun around. Patrick tuned him out and thought about the circumstances leading to this point. William Kidder was the ex-husband of a client Patrick had a couple of years ago. William was addicted to drugs and abusive to the wife and kids. It was a no-brainer that he shouldn’t have any custody of the children. After the restraining order went into effect, William doubled up on the drug use, started harassing his ex-wife and was arrested for possession and violating a restraining order. Apparently, it was everybody else’s fault that William went to prison. During his tirade, he blamed the judge, Patrick, court staff, the police, his ex-wife. The longer he talked, the more hopeful Patrick was that William would let him live. And then, all of a sudden, William just stopped. He stopped pacing, he stopped yelling, and he sat on the couch with one hand pointing the gun at Patrick and the other hand agitatedly rubbing his chin. Patrick became less hopeful.

William remained in this position for a few minutes. The silence was eerie after listening to him yell for over an hour.

“Look, if you’re going to kill me, just fucking kill me already.” Patrick realized he was probably tempting fate with that statement, but jesuschrist, a man has his limits. It’s exhausting not knowing whether or not a maniac with a gun is going to end your life.

William stopped rubbing his chin and looked at Patrick. He stood up off the couch, crouched down in front of Patrick and pressed the gun into Patrick’s temple.

“You think I won’t? You think I won’t fucking pop you like I did to that judge.”

Patrick met William’s gaze and realized this was not his first stop of the day. It was then that he heard sirens in the distance.

***

“Wilde, Wilde, West, and Associates. This is Annie. How may I help you?”

Annie decided to answer one last phone call before leaving for the day.  

“Yes, Mr. Holliday, Family Court was cancelled today. From what I’ve heard, Judge Bean will be out for a few weeks…yes, Patrick will also be out for a while. I’m not sure how long, but he will be in contact with you…I’m sorry for all the confusion today. Have a good day.”

Mr. Holliday was still spouting expletives when she hung up, but Annie was too exhausted to care.

Annie gathered up her purse and threw away her plastic coffee cup from this morning. She picked up the second cup of iced coffee and debated on whether or not to throw it away. She took a sip, made a face, and decided to throw it away. She would buy a new one on the way home. Maybe she would upgrade to a blended mocha.