Overthought

That freaking light.

If it weren’t for it, I wouldn’t be getting here late this morning. And my third day on the job, no less. Sigh.

Will this freaking elevator hurry up?

Good. So far, no one from my department. Maybe I can squeeze in unseen.

Sigh, finally.

And good, only me getting on. Hope it stays that way.

Second…

Thir--- Wait, it’s stopping on the third floor.

Oh, must’ve been someone who changed their mind and took the stairs.

Alright, alright—just four more to go. Come on, seventh floor. Come on, seventh floor!

Fourth…

Fifth……

Sixt—wait, why is it stopping, why is it stopping. There are only seven floors in this building – who waits for the elevator for just one flight of stairs?

And in the morning?!

Oh God. It’s Jess. Of all people.

And of course she doesn’t have anything in her hands, which means she’s already been here—unlike me, with the handle of my briefcase and my mug of coffee nestled tightly in mine.

“Heyy, good morning, Jess,” I say to my new manager.

“Good morning, Michael! How’s it going?”

“It’s goin’! Darn traffic, ya’ know?”

“Oh, you’re just getting in?” she asks.

Shoot.

“Oh yeah, I uhh---”

“Hey, nice haircut, by the way!” she says of my fresh buzz.

“Thanks! You, too!”

D’oh. “Thanks, you, too!”? “You, too,” what? That isn’t how you respond to that kind of compliment. Has she even had a haircut lately? Or ever? I know she thinks I’m an idiot.

Her eyebrow slightly raises, and her lips give a slight smile. “Well, alright, Michael! See you later,” she says as she walks off to her desk.

Yeah, definitely thinks I’m an idiot. Couldn’t get away fast enough.

Why in the world would I say “Thanks, you, too!” to her complimenting my haircut. Was my mind that out of wack?!

Gosh, I really wish I wouldn’t have said that. I know she thinks I’m so stupid. Who wouldn’t? I mean, what a dumb thing to say. What a dumb response to a compliment. Only me. Only would I respond in such a dumb way to a freaking compliment.

As I near my desk, I see her already heavily engrossed in her computer across the walkway.

I feel like I need to make this right. I feel like I need to explain what I meant.

“Hey,” I walk over and say.

“Hey, Michael!” Jess looks up from her screen. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just… Earlier, when you complimented my haircut, I said ‘Thanks, you, too!’ And I just wanted you to know… I didn’t mean that.”

An awkward silence rises and loiters.

“Ummm… okay?” she laughs nervously. “No problem, Michael.”

“Okay,” I say. “Well, enjoy your day.”

“Thanks, you, too.”

I don’t make it five feet before I suddenly have another thought.

“Oh, wait,” I stop and turn around. “When I said I didn’t mean it, I meant, just the ‘you, too’ part—not the ‘thanks’ part. I meant that. What I should’ve said was ‘Thanks!’ And then just left it at that. Not also ‘you, too’…because that wouldn’t have made sense, ya’ know?”

The silence again.

“Uhh, yeah, okay,” Jess finally says. “Really, it is okay, Michael. I knew what you meant.” She extends a friendly smile.

“Okay!” I say. “Well, talk later!”

“Okay!”

A deep breath of relief blows out of me as I settle down in my desk.

It really was nice of her to compliment my haircut. And I’m glad I corrected my initial reply to her compliment…because it really would’ve been weird for me to just leave things at “Thanks, you, too,” like the compliment also applied to her. I mean, it isn’t like she also got a new haircut...

But wait. Her hair does look a little different.

I peer over at her as she taps away at her desk.

Hmm, was it that long before? It’s at her chin now. I don’t know if it was at her chin yesterday. I feel like it was closer to her shoulders yesterday.

Oh, my God. She did get a haircut. She got a haircut, and not only did I not say anything about it, but when she complimented mine, I might’ve first saved myself by saying “you, too” back, but then I just went and told her I didn’t mean it!! But I did mean it! Ugh, she must think I’m so rude. Who takes back a compliment?! And after she’d given me one.

Sigh.

I feel several pairs of eyes follow me as I walk back over.

“Hey, Michael!” she says a little less-eagerly than before as gaze remains fixed on her screen, her fingers still steadily typing away. “What’s up?”

“Hey, umm… So… I know I just came over here and said I didn’t mean what I said this morning—saying ‘Thanks, you, too’ when you complimented my haircut. I mean, I know I said I meant the ‘Thanks’ but not the ‘you, too’… But actually, I meant the ‘you, too’ uhh…too.”

Her tapping fingers slow to a stop, but her gaze still remain on the screen, her eyes narrowing and appearing as if she’s trying to gather her thoughts before turning to my direction.

And then, she does.

“Huh?” she mutters.

“Umm well I just… I know you recently got a haircut, so when you complimented my haircut and I said ‘Thanks, you, too,’ I actually did mean, ‘Thanks, you, too’—like, ‘Thank you, and you also have a nice hair cut!’”

Her eyebrows furrow as another uncomfortable silence settles in between us.

“Like, your haircut looks nice, too—real good, actually,” I continue. “Really brings out your features. Huge difference from before. I really, really like it. So, yeah, very nice. Like you’d said about mine…”

“Michael,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t gotten a haircut.”

“Umm.. Are you sure?”

She chuckles, her eyes rolling slightly. “Yes, I’m sure. Uhh are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Are you su--- Okay. Uhh.. Sorry to bother you, then,” I say before turning and walking off as quickly as possible.

Attempts to melt into my chair when I return to my desk prove futile. I look back over at Jess who’s once again already immersed in her day’s work.

Sigh.

I really told her “Thanks, you, too” to her compliment of my haircut. Then told her I didn’t really mean it. Then told her I only meant half of it. Then told her I actually did mean all of it, believing she’d also recently gotten a haircut. And now she says she didn’t.

Ugh. What must she think of me…

I look at her again.

I could’ve sworn her hair was a little lower down her neck yesterday.

I log into my computer and open the office instant messenger.

Michael (9:37a.m.): Hey

Jessica (9:38a.m.): Hey. What’s up?

Michael (9:38a.m.): Are you sure you haven’t recently had a haircut? I could’ve sworn your hair was closer to your neck yesterday.

Jessica (9:38a.m.): ……

Michael (9:38a.m.): ?

Jessica (9:45a.m.): Yea. I’m sure.

Michael (9:45a.m.): Hmmmm.

Michael (9:45a.m.): Ok.

I guess she wouldn’t lie about that…

Would she?

Sigh. She probably thinks I’m even weirder now.

Michael (9:45a.m.): Hey

Jessica (9:51a.m.): Hey?

Michael (9:51a.m.): Sorry for that whole mix-up. Maybe I was thinking of someone else’s recent cut. Maybe my own, ha!

Jessica (9:52a.m.): ha ok

Well, I’m glad I got that all cleared up and settled.

Now I can finally get to work.

Sigh.

Why would I go back and question her about her hair, asking if she’s sure she got a haircut? Wouldn’t she be the first and best to know if she had?! Who am I to question that? Ugh, now she probably thinks I’m dumb and arrogant. The nerve of me to ask her that!

And then to ask her about it on instant messenger. And apologize for everything that way, when I could’ve and should’ve done it to her face! She probably thinks I’m a coward!! A dumb, arrogant coward!!!!

I have to make this right somehow. I think I’ll go back ov—

“Michael?” Jess says as she now stands near my desk.

“Oh, hey, yeah?” I sound as if I was snapped out of an intense daydream.

“I’d like you to look over this report so you’ll know how to do these in the future. She hands me a stack of papers.

“Sure thing, no problem!” my voice manages to push out but with a little more zest than the response warrants.

“Great, thanks,” she replies and turns to return to her desk.

“Oh, and Jess?”

She freezes in place for a moment, her face still away from me—but still, I can easily imagine her tightened shut eyes.

“Yes?” she asks as she slowly turns to face me again.

“I’m sorry for asking if you were sure you’ve had a haircut. I mean, of course you know whether you’ve had a haircut. That was really dumb of me to say, you know what I mean? And dumb to think you had. I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“Unh huh. Okay, sure, Michael.”

“Oh, and sorry for saying sorry over the messenger application instead of to your face. That was wrong, too. I should’ve gone up and apologized to you face-to-face, like a real man.”

She grins tightly and slowly nods her head before turning to go back to her desk, leaving my big, polite grin staring after her.

********

“How did your third day at work go today, son?” my mom asks me over the phone during our daily check-in later that evening.

"Mmmm it's been okay," I say. "I don't know, it kinda feels like everyone acts a little weird with me, for some reason..."