Lessons We Learn

Lessons We Learn

By SLangley

One of my fondest memories, just happens to also be one of my greatest life lessons. I remember sitting at the table thinking, Lord, please keep her as far away from me as possible. I was referring to a new student at the Cosmetology school where I was in the final phase of my training. Although I was considered a senior, and she a freshman, for the first hour of each day all classes merged together for textbook training. The only thing that differentiated us by grade was that after textbook training, the seniors went into the salon room to service real customers while the lower classmen worked on practicans (mannequin heads). 

The thing everyone admired about this girl was that to be so young, she came into the training program already knowing how to do hair. From day one, she possessed “master” skills when it came to styling hair. She only needed to train 1000 hours in order to obtain a license so she could legally work in a beauty salon. 

When she started classes with us, she immediately began to turn her nose up at the rest of us and complain. Her way of participating in any class discussion was by repeatedly smirking and frowning at what others had to say. Therefore, I knew I had to say the silent prayer before she even had a chance to offend me because at that time, I was not the type to take offense lightly. I made up my mind to steer clear of the youngin so that I could complete the program in peace. Well, at least I can say that I tried to steer clear; that was until the day I was working on a patron's hair and when I just happened to look up, the young lady was walking straight towards me. My prayer was in full effect: Oh Lord, why me? Why today? Why right now? As she got closer, I tussled with the still, small voice on the inside of me that was prompting me to just listen to whatever she had to say. I surrendered and that unction in my spirit won the internal battle. 

She immediately introduced herself as if I had no idea who she was. Just to ensure she was aware that I was not the least bit intimidated by her, I stared her right in the eyes, my expression stern, while remaining silent. I was expecting that she was going to critique something, make a smart remark or put me down in some way, as I had witnessed her do with so many of the other students. But to my surprise, she wanted me to be aware that she had been paying close attention to me and could not help but notice that I thanked God for everything. She pointed out all that she noticed me expressing gratitude for including, but not limited to: completed assignments, good test grades, my food, other students, and styles that I performed on various clients. After she finished running down the list, she asked me why I was so grateful. But before I could respond, she just opened up and began to tell me about her current circumstances. That was the beginning of our lessons. When she started talking to the outside of me, the Lord started speaking on the inside of me, saying “This is why? This is why you went through all of it; so that you can help her while she’s going through it. Now help her.”

I was humbled. Tears formed in my eyes as I stood in awe, waiting patiently as she verbally took (what seemed like) the weight of the world from off her shoulders, and placed it onto mine. I waited until she was completely finished, and then I hugged her, and I let her know that I could relate to everything she was experiencing at the time; and that I was her help. She was so glad to hear me say those words, and quite shocked at the fact that I could identify with her pain. Sometimes when we experience a real punch in the gut from life, we tend to think that we have to bear it alone. We become so grieved that our hearts trick us into believing that no one else can understand, and keeping it all to ourselves only prolongs the pain.

Up until that defining moment, this inexperienced person was a victim of her adolescent mind because she was too young to fathom that other women had lived long before she entered this world, and had undergone things even worse than what she had ever known. I, on the other hand, was a victim of my own emotions because I wrestled with the Spirit every time I had to face some harsh adversity. I was always either crying out or silently praying, “Oh Lord, why me? Why today? Why right now?” That was me not understanding why I had to go through the tough stuff. I thought that becoming a Christian had somehow provided some sort of free pass to a peaceful, painless life. But that’s not how it works. Oh yes, the peace is definitely part of the deal, but the flowery bed of ease is not. If we never experience pain, then we will never know why we should be grateful for joy and happiness.

Nevertheless, this young lady was only 17, and I was 31, and we both were treading in a pool of our emotions, when neither of us had a clue as to how to even swim. She was drowning in fear and grief, and I was drowning in fear and confusion. Yet, we threw each other a lifeline: one by talking, and the other by listening. 

That day, I was spiritually educated, and emotionally equipped for future trials and tribulations. I grew spiritually, and as a result I changed my prayer. I learned to ask, “Lord, why not me?” Because I discovered that oftentimes, what we go through has absolutely nothing to do with us. Sometimes God just needs a body so that He can deliver someone else from their troubles later on down the line; someone who is coming behind us. Because she took heed and allowed me to aid her through her ordeal, the circumstances did not tell her how her story was going to end. She gained the victory in that situation, which transpired over 20 years ago, and today she and I are still friends.