Yes, I Do Have a Brother

I felt hopeless. There was nothing I could do to stop him from staying on the other side; nothing I could do to change his mind. If his own sister, his blood, can’t make him turn around and join us, then nothing will, and he will go down with the rest of them. 

He holds up his arm at a ninety-degree angle and clenches his fist while staring deeply into my eyes. I stare back, harder and stronger, resiliently. I don’t think he ever imagined me standing up to him before, especially not in these circumstances. His soldiers lower their weapons and fall back. His expression does not waver in the slightest. I try to hold my own expressionless glare before turning around and walking away from him, trusting his men will hold their post, and trusting that my brother will not literally stab me in the back. I gave him a choice; surrender and maybe I won’t hate you for the rest of our lives for what you’ve done to our nation and our family, or continue down this path, and I will end your life with my own two hands. He doesn’t believe me. He doesn’t know what I’m capable of when given the right motives. I know now there is nothing that can change him, he is stuck to suffer in his ways. 

David has always been stubborn. We haven’t been able to agree on much ever since we were kids. I guess he just liked being an only child, and then I came along, and he envied the attention I took from him. That childish behavior didn’t last long, it wasn’t allowed to. He had to grow up fast, and I had to grow up faster. When the nation started going under and we were all forced to choose a side, he chose for the both of us. I had no one else to look after me after all, so my big brother took me along with him wherever he went. Little did I know, he was dragging me into a really messed up way of life. 

I was practically raised by those people; raised by army men and women; playing with their children and getting in trouble for being too easily distracted from my chores. I was only five when my dear big brother and I left our burning neighborhood to live a life of training, travels, and conquering. David wanted to be involved from a young age; he was so insistent on being in the army that the General agreed to take him in as his apprentice, training him to become what he is today. A cold hearted army general, completely indulged in seizing the last remaining territories at the edge of the country that I occupy with my new family, the family I chose. 

I run through our last conversation as brother and sister, before I tore that version of us out of my own heart. As much as I try to forget that he shares my blood, I cannot help but have the constant reminder that David is my brother. The good, warm memories play in my head, and sometimes in my dreams, but then, the bad takes over, every single time. It wasn’t too long ago, just months have passed, although it feels like years. If it weren’t for David, I’d have been dead a long time ago, as soon as the streets went up in flames, and mom and dad disappeared. I would have stood in that house frozen in fear, until I disappeared forever, just like them. 

I had started to question the methods of Davids’ mentor long before I left. I knew it was a life changing decision and wanted to find out more before taking the step of no return. I was being just as persistent as David. 

The General was cruel. I never saw him flinch. He took more land with each passing day, destroying what he had to, and leaving the people of the cities and towns behind with hardly anything. Some were more resistant than others, but it ended all the same. He gave them a week's worth of supplies after gaining their land for himself, but after that week, they were on their own, they are on their own. I followed, and watched, and learned. If I’d known that after we left those places, those people were left behind and forgotten, I might have left a long time ago, atleast, that’s what I like to think. 

I never went to school. I never learned math or science, and only know how to read and write because one of the older kids on base taught me how to. I learned how to be a fighter, how to conquer and use strength and power to gain control no matter where I went, no matter who stood in my way. I was taught to take what was already mine by any means necessary. I was told that once we had conquered the entire nation, we would be of aid to all citizens, no matter which side they’d been on during the war, and rebuild a better nation as the leaders of a new age. I was told the General was a military genius, that he was the best and the strongest. He spoke to me often as well, but only because of how close David was to him. I was terrified of him when I was little, but soon, he became like family to me too. 

 David warned me, threatened me, tried to protect me from the truth, but what I found in his journals was the answer I’d been searching for. Once I knew how evil my brother really was, is, I knew I had to run away and join the other side. I knew he’d kill the General soon after I left. His plans were written in code, but I was able to decipher them, and when I saw him today, I knew why he was standing alone at the front. 

I don’t know what made him so desperate to work under the General when we were kids. We could have just disappeared into any crowd, in any city or town, but David made it his mission to go to the top as soon as he saw the old General for the first time. He pushed his way to him and stared him right in the eyes, while everyone else was afraid to even lift their head to see the man's face, including me. David had what it took to be in the inner circle, even when he was younger. I guess I should be thankful for his stubbornness. If not for that, I’d probably never have made it out of that place, never had made it here. 

I shake off the thought of my lost brother, desperately trying to leave him behind and remind myself that we are no longer family; I tell myself he means nothing to me. I unchain my horse and ride back to camp after standing against an entire army. David did not come alone as we had agreed. I didn’t either, but it seems my plan to make him think I was alone worked. My army was wisely hidden. 

That is a flaw that will lead to his downfall. He must flaunt his army, his power and numbers, whereas I use real strategy. I can’t blame him for that, he only knows what the general taught him. He follows, I lead. 

As I ride back to camp, my people come out of hiding, one after the other, growing in number and following behind me until we reach our destination. I had defenses everywhere, just in case my brother decided to pull a risky move. I truly believe that if I had never left to join this side, the nation would be his by now. He just has some repressed emotional attachment to his little sister still brewing inside him. I think that string will finally be cut when he realizes what I’m willing to do to him, but by then, it will be too late. 

General Cilla is waiting for my arrival, and questions me as soon as I jump down from my horse. I tell her my plan; I will end my brother, and we will do whatever is necessary to take back what is rightfully ours. I turn my head to sigh. I know the truth, that there is no “good” side of war, but there are thousands of people here who want life to be good again. We want better lives for everyone in our nation, and if we have to bear the suffering for all of them, we are prepared to do so. It’s my responsibility to fix this mess that I played a part in creating.

Cilla and I run through our plans over and over, until it is embedded into our heads and everyone else's too. We plan a careful attack that is sure to work. We will attack early, while they sleep. We will take out the night guards one by one, silently, until their main camp, where my brother stays, is unknowingly defenseless. I will sneak into my brother's quarters and do what must be done, and Cilla will lead our army through the rest. I must focus on my own steps to execute the plan as quickly and precisely as possible. 

I am sick all day, feeling nauseous and throwing up every hour. I cannot eat and barely drink any water. I trained my mind to deal with my brother swiftly, but my body is not fooling anyone, not even myself. I conceal the dagger, and two more, in my clothing, making sure they are secured, and fetch my horse from the stables and wait for the rest of our army to show up, I’m terribly early. Cilla comes after me, and behind her is everyone else. I turn to look at them all, to remember their faces, knowing some will not make it back. We wait for Cillas’ command, and then we march. 

As we arrive close by their camp, Cilla and I give our commands to begin the attack. Once one sector of guards is taken out I can make my way to David. I wait for the signal, patiently as time goes by slower than ever before. Once I see it, my breathing stops. I am somewhere else, but yet completely on task. I am in a state of mind that will allow me to follow through without holding back. I am terrified and thankful at the same moment. 

When I open Davids’ tent and see him sleeping, I am sure of my movements. I slide the dagger out from my waistline and raise it above him. It stays in the air as I watch his chest move up and down, the last few rhythms of a beating heart. I squeeze the dagger as tight as I possibly can with sweaty hands, raise it over his chest, and plunge it straight down, swift and deep, one motion. 

His eyes open, his shock lasts only a moment before he grabs my wrist so hard there will surely be a deep bruise, if he lets me live. I leave the dagger where it is, plunged deep into a hard, old pillow, as David pins me to the ground, rips it out from the pillow and holds it to my neck, nearly making the movement to end my life. He pauses, and a tear falls from my eye. Before I know it I am crying, tear after tear falls to the hard, thinly covered ground. 

“Surrender” he says, pressing the dagger into my throat. 

“David, get off of me” I persist through his intense pressure and the sharp, cold metal starting to dig into my throat. 

His hands shake as he starts to cut deeper, and deeper, until finally, letting go. The dagger falls to the ground. He gets off of me and I stand up in a defensive stance, waiting for what he might do to me. His stance is the same as mine, we were taught just the same. 

“You betrayed us all. You killed General Waye, ran away, and left to join the enemy” he says, 

“I didn’t- we are not the enemies, you are. Your guards are already dead, your people sleeping and defenseless. We are taking control of your weapons stationery as we speak, one word too loud, and you die on the spot.”

 He thinks about his next move. This was unexpected and he has not planned for something this intricate. He doesn’t know his next move. He has no next move. 

“Brother, join me now, or die” for the first time in years, his eyes are wavering. He breaks eyes contact, and falls to his knees,

“I surrender” 

I tie his hands together with a piece of cloth, and wrap another around his jaw, up to his nose so he cannot speak or scream before taking him outside to see what my army has done to terminate the evil in this camp. I see Sarah and Cam on either side of the weapons stationery and give them the signal; they give one back. They’ve done it, we’ve done it. I’ve done it. 

Cilla comes to join me, along with the rest of our army, in the center of the camp. I grab her hand to hold, and together we raise them high in our victory. I see her smile as she faces our people, proud of what we’ve accomplished today. I take a mental photo of how beautiful her smile is before digging the dagger into her back and through her heart. She falls, and they all stare. I am second in command after all, they now follow my orders, they follow only me. 

Of course, they could rise against me now that they’ve seen me kill Cilla, but they won’t, they are too afraid of what might happen if I am no longer around. I showed them I am the leader they need the moment I joined them, and now that I forged the plan that allowed us to take back control of the nation, they will follow me. 

There are some people who need to be told what to do, what to eat, how much to drink, how far to walk, and then there are the people who tell them what to do, what to eat, how much to drink, and how far to walk. David has always been a follower; I have always been a leader. I just needed to cease the moment. That’s what General Waye used to say, those were some of his last words actually. He said to me “You have what it takes to be a great leader, someday, but for now, you still must learn to cease the moment. You must learn to do what it takes, to make them fear you. Then, and only then, they will not turn on you, no, they will be too afraid.” 

So, they watch, and wait for my next move. 

“My dear brother has surrendered his army over to me. Cam, take David as a prisoner. The rest of you, check each tent and station and check on the soldiers who are still alive, any who are not too injured to continue fighting, and willingly surrender to the leader of the new nation, gather them and bring them back to camp, feed them, clothe them, whatever they need. I will go with my brother and my good friend, Cam, back to camp. You will all be back by the afternoon, and I will let you in on the plans for building the new nation. You have all done well, I am proud to call you the first soldiers of the new nation.” 

They look around at each other, but none make a move. I shove David in Cams’ direction, and she goes to him to pick him up from the ground. Once she looks out to them all, holding David as a prisoner, they begin to move, to search for survivors. David and I lock eyes; his are fearful, mine are sure. 

“Don’t worry brother, my plans are far bigger than you. You finally have what you wanted, one nation, together at last. The new nation, just like the General wanted. Oh, I guess he never let you in on his real plans then. If he had, you wouldn’t be so surprised by how tonight ended for you. Oh well, I could just tell you now, he is gone after all, and I accomplished the mission. Actually, I changed my mind, telling you the real plans wouldn’t satisfy me. Come along now Cam, we have much work to do” He chewed through his cloth muzzle, spitting it onto the ground in front of me. I look down at the chewed material by my feet and laugh. 

“You’re the real monster. It’s no wonder mom and dad left you behind when the war started” I’m frozen in place for a few moments, pondering, 

“Oh please, we both know they’re dead” 

“I guess you want to know what really happened to them then; why they left you alone in the house” I turn around and slap him across the face, he falls to the ground. I crouch down and lift his chin. 

“Do not play games with me, I’ve won, it’s over” he laughs, spitting blood. 

“Maybe, but you’ll be fighting your own war, in your own mind, because I’ll never tell you why they-” Before he can get out another word, Cams’ knocked him out. He lies unconscious on the ground, and I flash a daring look at Cam. She doesn’t seem afraid and shrugs it off. 

“Whatever, pick him up, let’s go.”