You'll Always be With Me

I rush into my apartment slamming my door shut, the dead bolt locking into place. pressing my head against the door I let out a sigh. 

“Holy fuck Annie what did you do?” I ask myself. I slide to the ground and rip my boots off. 

Like, what did I do way back then to piss off this guy so much? I haven’t gone by Annie since the 1800’s… 

“Ah! Maybe I robbed this guy?” I say out loud, springing up from my spot.

No you Idiot! I hear a voice inside my head scream at me. I’ve been alive for like, 135 years and that’s never happened! 

Oh, I think I have some old mementos from way back when! I start walking towards the closet but suddenly catch myself in the reflection of the window, seeing that girl with the cowboy hat again. 

“That must be Annie!” I start rushing towards the bathroom, knocking junk away from the sink to take a better look at the first version myself.

“Woah, hello Annie,” I say to her. She has my black hair which I bleached last month. Her’s still shining and glistening. She’s got a cowboy hat on and a stern look in her eye. I lean more forward, widening my eyes as she follows my movements. She has a thick leather belt around her waist and a dirtied collared shirt with a black bandana loosey tied around her neck. I take a step back, revealing her thick suede skirt that weighed down to her ankles, with the cuffs of her blouse tucked into her thick leather gloves. 

She seems like total buzzkill.

“Well aren’t you the charmer Annie,” I’m just making sarcastic remarks to myself. 

“Well aren’t you the charmer Annie,” A sarcastic voice said from behind me. Pushing down my smile, I turn to face him. 

“Right back at you Clay,” 

“What the!” I fall back into my shower curtain, the metal pole falling onto my stomach and I groan in pain. That was definitely the guy that was chasing me! Except, he looked more dirty and like those cowboys I’ve seen in movies! His jawline could cut ice, it looks like he hasn’t aged a day. 

Does he have regenerative powers too? Has he been searching for Annie this whole time? I get up and go to the closest. Pull out the cardboard box with the journals. 

Open it up and set the journals out all with my past names written on them. 

Clara - was the latest one, born in ‘55.

Lana - born in 1925, a real American lover who had five affairs simultaneously and had a burning hatred for ballet.  

Anna - 1895, a very self-centered girl who loved swindling money from strangers and a true fanatic for square-dancing. 

I think the only thing we have in common is our devotion to the people around us. 

And finally, the letter to Annie. She never had a journal entry, since she never knew about our 30 year memory loss. If anything, she only had a day to understand what was happening to her. 

I’ve never read her letter, I’ve only really gotten around to reading Clara’s journal, which was basically full to the brim of sappy stuff about loving herself and her memories with her lover. She summed up the past journals for me. Barely describing Annie for me, the only thing mentioned was that she sometimes saw her in the mirror. 

I caress the letter in my hand, it’s paper old and brown. It had Annie on the folded front of it in pretty cursive. 

“You bottom-feeder bitch! Unlock this door or I’m blowing the hinges off!” I hear the man's loud voice from behind my front door, loud bangs echoing in the house. My paintings fall from the impact.

“One second!” I yell back putting the letter in my back pocket and grabbing my bag from the floor. I hurry to my window and struggle with the lock. 

“I’ll give you three seconds!” His voice is raspy and piercing. 

Why won’t this window budge? I slam the window again and move it up bit by bit. 

“One!” Another door bang and I hear a gun click in the background. I jostle the window back down and up again, my heart jumping when another painting clashes to the floor. I turn back seeing the hinges struggle against the pressure. 

“Two!” I force the window back down again, the gap creating enough space for my hand to fit. 

Curse this cheap ass apartment! 

“Three!” I hear the shards of metal blow off, slamming against the wall. I scream and shut the window back down again. 

“C’mon give me that cowgirl strength!” Four more shoots go through the house, I look back seeing his face through the holes he’s creating in my door. His eyes look ready for blood. 

“Annie, c’mon! Don’t walk out on me!” His eyes were like a childs. 

“Please, I just need to go for a ride,” I sigh to him, moving my hand away from him. 

“I just, I hate that you put yourself in so much danger, I know your regeneration is fast but people are out to get you! They’ll figure out how to kill you,” 

The door flies open, the hinges barely even staying on the wall. 

“TIme out Clay, time out!” I start yelling, giving the window one last slam and pull. 

“You remember my name?” He falters and I’m able to climb out the window. The only good thing about this apartment is that it was on the first floor. I hear shots fire from behind me, one grazing my shoulder. 

“Gah!” I yell, squeezing my shoulder, the blood barley spilling out before my skin heals. It still burns as I rummage in my purse while I run to my car. I feel metal and grab, pulling a tube of lipstick. 

“Damn it!” I hear him yell. I go in the bag again and find my keys, unlock my door and start up my car. I can see him getting closer and closer, dodging the people in the street. I back out and press on the gas, I look in my rear view mirror and see him go into a car that was right next to mine. 

“Ah! Get away! Get away!” I scream to try to calm myself down. I turn quickly and down the road less traveled. I look into my mirror again, but instead of seeing Clay in a car, he’s riding a black horse. 

“Are you kidding!?!” My foot pressing harder on the gas. 

“Get away!” I yell back at the cowboys chasing me. I dig my pegs into Delilah, her hooves move faster as I hear the shots behind me. I grind my teeth as a bullet hits my heel, but I carry on, pressing my stomach more onto her back. They want to try and kill me. I want to help, at any cost, I want to help people from the dangers of this crude world. I was gifted to save, and nothing will stop me. 

Not even Clay, the only person that could ever make me settle down. 

I had to do what I did. 

“Annie you dumb bitch!” I yell at the flashback in my head. I hear a shot behind me, I look back at my mirror and see the normal Clay leaning out his window and trying to aim for my tires. 

“Annie!” I scream at myself and press the gas, Clay still being persistent in his pursuit. 

We’re out on a road surrounded by nothing but sand and dirt. I look to my window, seeing Annie bent down on her horse, riding with dust blowing in her face. 

“Annie, catch up!” Clays bright smile flashes as he turns his head to look back at me. I dig my pegs against Deliah, urging her forward. 

“You’ll eat your words Clay!” Laughing as I catch up to him. 

“I really hope I do!” He grins as my horse gets next to him, his hair blowing in the wind. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world Annie,”

“Fuck!” I slam on the brakes, my car swerving, throwing gravel everywhere. I look through my window seeing Clay’s car inching towards me. I jump out, looking onto the parking lot and seeing an old western type town. 

“We’re close Clay, don’t die on me now!” I yell, Clay’s body draped over Delilah. Clay got involved in one of my shootouts and got 2 shots in the shoulder. 

“I’m glad you’ll be the last thing I see G’hal,” He moans in pain. 

“I’ll give you a chance if you're still above snakes by then!” I pray he does. 

I couldn’t live with myself if he died on my watch. 

I run into the town with my bag, the dirt kicking behind me making it hard to sprint. Once I reach there I look behind and see Clay’s car swerve into the lot. 

“Welcome to the Wild West Ma'am! Want a pamphlet?” An energetic staff member of this amusement offered me a pamphlet. I stop running for a moment to grab it out of obligation. I pant while thanking him. I turn around to look at the buildings and my eyes catch a photo shoot with a chest of clothes. I rush to the chest and grab whatever I can. 

I hear loud piano music from inside an old saloon type building and run in. 

“Dance with me Annie!” Clay grabs my hand and pulls me off the stool, dragging me into the crowd of people dancing. The lights illuminate his face and music drowns his words. He clasps my hands and moves his arms, his feet moving trying to make me follow. I laugh, my arms giving in, letting him guide me to the sounds. He gets me closer with the beat, his hand moving to my waist and swaying me around with his other. I can barely hear him, but he mouths the words ‘I love you Annie’. My eyes go wide when I see the words and the smile he has after them. 

“Clay, you’re the only person who could make me forget my dream,” I say, knowing he can’t hear me. 

Also knowing that, I need to keep my dreams by any means necessary. 

I run into the dancing crowd, the music blasting throughout the saloon. I pull on my disguise, adorning the cowboy hat I grabbed while running and a cheap flannel. I move to the back and quickly pull on the cowboy boots, ditching my sneakers by a barrel. I look into the crowd and see Clay enter through the washboard doors, he looks exactly like he did in the mirror. I have the urge to just reach out and grab him, seeing him frantically search the saloon for me. But once we make eye contact I dip into the crowd once more. The look in his eyes gives me goosebumps. I shift between bodies, trying to dance and swerve with them hoping to blend in. I feel a large hand grab my arm, turning me around to face Clay. 

“Howdy,” I stutter out as he grabs my waist and starts dancing with me. 

“I can’t believe someone like you ended up in Annie’s body,” He looks down at me in disgust. I look towards the door as we dance closer and closer towards it. I step back and move him with me. Maybe I can talk him out of whatever revenge he has planned.

“You don’t even know me,” I look up at him. 

“I’ve been watching you for the last 2 months, the only thing you two have in common is that you smoke. You have no passion for life and you have no regard for your safety. You're an ungrateful little snob,” 

“Well, people change,” He’s dragging me outside, I feel my hands get sweatier between his. 

“Not you Annie,” 

“Not you Annie, anyone but you,” I’ve never seen Clay cry. I grab my revolver, rotating the chamber with my thumb and click it into place. 

“Let me leave Clay and I won’t splatter your brains against the stars,” I steady my hand and put the crosshairs between his eyes. Large tears roll down his cheek, sweat sticking to his forehead. 

“I’d rather die than let you leave,” He sobs. 

“Then die,” I shoot. 

My body slams against the ground, the stars greeting me as I spin. Clay fires two shots, one hitting me in the shoulder and one hitting my leg. My screams are drowned out by the clambering of the piano keys and drinks being slammed against the bartop. He gets behind me and drags me across the dirt, the rocks digging into my skin. He stops and climbs on top of me, clicking back his revolver again. 

“I wonder how many shots it will take for your brain to completely replace itself,” His voice is unforgiving. 

“Wait! I have a letter Annie wrote!” I blurt. “It’s in my back pocket!” He pauses and reaches behind me. He grabs the letter and unfolds it. I turn my head facing Annie again as he reads it. 

I see her in the store-front window as he stands above me. Her hair was scattered, sticking to her forehead with sweat. Clay was there as well, his smile was gleaming as he kissed her, not like the disgusted look he’s wearing now. But filled with anger, so much that I can barely breathe. 

"This is torture!” He cries as he crumples the letter and tosses it to the ground. 

“How do you know Annie wasn’t like me when she wasn’t around you!” 

“That letter is a damn lie! You’re a liar, who likes music Annie would never like!” 

“It didn’t exist then! Even if you kill me, I’ll still be the same person!” I yell. 

“No!” He tears up, his head slams to my shoulder, digging me further into the ground. “Annie, I’ve been chasing you for so long, this can’t be how it ends,” He cries into my shoulder. 

I look back to the window again, and for some reason I see Annie crying too. 

“She, no, we wouldn’t want you to see me like this,” I say, trying to get up. I shift my body, reaching out to his face, moving his hair with my thumb. I see the bullet hole I left. 

“I’ve always had regrets in the back of my mind, I can sense this was the biggest one,” 

“You can talk to Annie?” 

“I am Annie,”

“Annie said she’d never have kids, yet I see you working at a daycare,” 

“It’s a way to have them without having to say goodbye to them after 30 years,” 

“Are you going to shoot them too?” 

“I have more sense than that,” He laughs at that comment. We sit in silence after that. 

He gets up and grabs the letter, stuffing it in his back pocket. He looks back at me as I get up. 

“I’m going to go drown myself. Bye Annie,”

“My names Carrie,” 

“Carrie,” He repeats and turns around. I look around and see my bag plopped down by the toy chest filled with clothes. I rummage through and grab a pen. I grab Clay’s arm before he gets too far and he turns around. 

“Do I really need to shoot you,” He says in a monotone voice. I grab his hand and start scribbling my number on it. 

“I really think you’ll start enjoying life more when you stop living for someone else,” I finish writing and look up at him.

“My memory goes to shit in 2015, call me before then,” I smile at him. 

“Just let me die,” He frowns. 

“I’m not the type to let someone die in front of me,” I tip his cowboy hat over his eyes before walking off. 

Well, I can see what you saw in him, Annie.