Faithful

Oh, Glorious Majesty of Sacred Powers!

Um, who me?

Wondrous Redeemer and All-powerful Lord.

Well, I wouldn’t go so far as that…

Heavenly Esteemed One, whose power fills all things, whose bounty is good and whose name is to be exalted above all others.

Now I just need to check, are you speaking to me…

Creator of all, Knower of all that is, was and will be.

…or are you speaking at me?

I say, who is interrupting me in my prayers?

I’m sorry, but you were talking to me.

Who is this?

Well now, if you’re not sure, then perhaps you had better not continue your prayer until you’ve checked who you want to pray to.

What do you mean?

You did evoke my name, or at least I think that’s what you were doing. You’ve mentioned so many titles here, I don’t think you actually got to my name, so perhaps you were trying to speak with another.

Look, I’m just trying to say my prayers here.

I can appreciate that, but perhaps you could be a little more succinct. With over a few billion people to listen to, I’m finding myself a bit pressed for time. Can we fast-forward all the expository stuff, and get down to business?

Um, sure, but I don’t know where I’m up to in my prayer now.

Just start at the beginning.

Oh, Glorious Majesty…

No, I mean after the salutations. Just cut all that and start with Dear George.

George! Oh no, I couldn’t possibly… wait, your name is George? Really?

I kind of liked it. You know dragon killing and all; it sounds perfectly romantic. If you don’t know my name, then are you sure that you're praying to the right deity?

Um… I don’t know. How many deities are there?

Let me think… you know, I’ve never really counted. There are all sorts around here. Would you like to hang up and try calling upon someone else? It seems as if you are a bit unsure of your faith here.

No, I’m sure! I’m quite faithful. Have prayed every day of my life.

And yet you didn’t know my name?

OK, but to be fair, we’ve been told not to speak the All Powerful One’s Holy Name.

Such nonsense! How are you to speak with me, without knowing my name? What if you are speaking to the wrong person… I mean god. How would you know if you’ve called upon the right name, if you can’t say the name? You seem to want to waste a lot of time beating about the bush with indirect address.

Shall I return to my prayer?

Absolutely, but you may wish to make it snappy.

Dear… George. No, that doesn’t feel right. I can’t possibly pray like that.

Fine… say whatever makes you comfortable, but please just get to the point.

OK. Oh Glorious Majesty of Sacred Powers! Wondrous Redeemer and All-powerful Lord. Heavenly Esteemed One, whose power fills all things, whose bounty is good and whose name is to be exalted above all others. Creator of all, knower of all that is, was and will be. Holiest Lord, Almighty One.

Would have been quicker to say Dear George, just saying.

Your mercy fills all the earth and Your almighty and powerful sword touches those whose hearts fail to know You.

Mercy and vengeance. Make your mind up. What do you want from me?

Give me a heart that is unfailing and true. Grant me the strength to be your hand and voice to all I meet. Use me as your weapon for righteousness in the world and lead me on the path to your heavenly home, to be with you always until the end of time.

You really don’t ask for much do you?

I don’t know what you mean? These are the words I’ve been taught to pray.

Your heart is as true as you can make it. However, you’ve not said what you want it to be true to.

Ahh… true to you, I suppose.

You suppose? Don’t you know?

Well yes, I do. I want to be true to you, to follow in your ways.

My ways, well now that’s interesting isn’t it? I will have to think about that for a while. Pray, continue.

Um… Amen?

Amen? That’s it?

Yes. That’s the prayer.

Righto, then. You want me to give you the strength to be my hand and voice to everyone you meet.

Ah-ha.

Everyone?

Yes.

What about that person over there?

Which person? The smelly, homeless one?

I would have said the person without a stable housing situation or access to sanitation, but yes, the homeless one.

What is it you want me to do? Move them on? Stop them from cluttering up the steps to your temple?

My hand wants to help them and my voice wants to share a meal with them.

Aaah? They don’t look too savoury, Oh Holy One. He is giving me the evil eye, and I think he is checking the size of my bag.

Well, you do like to carry around an exorbitant number of things with you. You’re not a travelling merchant, are you?

Travelling merchant? Of course not!

It wouldn’t make any difference to me. I like merchants as much as I like… actually, what is it that you do?

I’m a tax attorney.

You don’t say! Well… never let it be said that I discriminate based on employment status. It is surely a worthy occupation.

Thank you.

And will you now be my hands and offer assistance to the one who’s challenged in the fixed abode aspect of his life?

He spat at me!

He what? What did you say to him?

I merely told him that the Grand Governer on behalf of the King of Mephostat offers shelter for those without houses. I suggested he might like to take himself there. You’d think he’d be grateful.

Do you think you might have been a bit condescending?

Me? No, I was just stating facts.

Seriously!

Yes, homelessness is a very serious matter. Vagrancy in the city streets is frowned upon, you know. That’s why our good tax dollars go towards building shelters for those without homes, so they can be removed from the street.

Have you ever been inside one of these shelters?

Of course not. I have a home.

Very well. Now you asked to be a weapon for righteousness in the world. There is a group of people over there who are in need of a hero.

Where? Those ragged women?

Those women have fled here from Whandaria.

If they are from Whandaria, surely they have political asylum and should be processed accordingly. What are they doing on the streets?

They may have arrived without the necessary documentation.

Illegally, you mean? You expect me to assist people in breaking the law?

Well, when your country is being torn apart by rampant dragons of one faction or another, there really isn’t time to wait for the necessary paperwork to go through. Red tape, you know, it can take years.

I will not risk my good standing in the community to assist people who have not accessed our beautiful country appropriately.

You won’t risk your good standing with the community, but you’re willing to risk your good standing with your… what did you call me… ‘Wondrous redeemer and all-powerful Lord’? Was that the right title?

But… well… do you think I might hang up now and perhaps try again? I think I may have called upon the wrong deity after all.

Perhaps you have. I wish you all the best for your next prayer, then. Some of the deities here are less forgiving and understanding than I am. Frank has been known to lower his callers into writhing pits of vipers, and just the other day, Tim had that boy chained to a rock so the birds would continuously eat his liver. Enjoy.

Ah, no… Holy One…? George? Are you there?