Narcissist of the Year

I started uncontrollably smiling before I even entered the house. The girls came running out when they heard the dogs alerting my arrival. 

“I can’t believe you got it!” my youngest said. 

“That’s rude!” my oldest replied. Cade came around the corner with his arms out. 

“Congrats, teacher of the year,” he sang. 

We were going to my favorite restaurant to celebrate. I was ranting about all the crazy co-worker dilemmas that I’ve endured these past few years. All the rule changes and curriculum red tape. When times got hard, I got harder. I mean given that the competition was stacked pretty low, I was still flying high from the big win. Me. Teacher of the year. Dang straight! 

Honestly, It was about time. 

I giggled as all of my social media alerts blew up my phone. I found it ironic how some of the people that were trying to shower me with comments of support were the same ones to abandon me before. I had to start from the ground up at the hardest time of my life, but I gathered the grit and I did it. I really didn’t have time to respond to all of them with the school’s reputation on my shoulders. 

The next few days were purely chaotic. Although the kids were crazy as ever, every person I passed was congratulating me. Not like it was my first time in the paper, but there was also an article about my celebratory banquet Friday night. Of course I didn’t have time for work. My entire family was coming. Even my Nana was making the trip just to see me. 

I was always her favorite.

By Friday, I was a ball of energy. I spent most of my time refreshing my emails to double check if the school board had approved my plaque yet. We arrived at the banquet hall, which was decorated with your typical balloons and streamers. I wrote my name with “teacher of the year”, and rushed as close to the stage as possible so I could snag the true Instagram worthy pictures. Especially now that I was social media famous!

I wondered who else would show up. 

I wondered if he had heard. 

I wondered if he would be somewhere in the room.

I wondered how I looked. 

As I settled in, I noticed my sister, Sarah, giving me a strange look. I brushed it off, attributing it to her usual jealous nature. The ceremony went as usual with its run of the mill thank you’s and blah blah. Occasionally, I caught the expected snippets of whispered conversations and sideways glances from co-workers. 

Finally, my principal, Mr. Lee, took to the stage.

 "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we honor someone who has gone above and beyond for our students.” 

He pointed towards a Powerpoint presentation displayed on the wall of mostly pictures of me with my arms casually wrapped around students, hands-on projects, and hilarious costumes made by yours truly. Somehow I found the time to do it all. As I made my way to the stage, I could see Cade beaming, and Nana's eyes shining with pride. 

She was finally getting a successful grandchild. 

I took the microphone as Mr. Lee joked that I was stealing the microphone. Apparently speeches aren’t necessary but hey, it was my time to shine! 

I started my speech but as I spoke, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I knew what was up all along. There were those looks again, the ones I'd noticed earlier. And then it happened. I heard a voice from the back of the room. 

"Is nobody going to say it?"

The room fell silent. The voice belonged to Mrs. Reynolds, a veteran teacher who was about to retire. 

I was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Mrs. Reynold’s continued. 

“I’m sorry, but…You’re disturbed. This award should go to someone who genuinely cares, not someone looking for fake validation.” 

She looked around at the other attendees and guardians in the room and chuckled, CHUCKLED! Like this was some sort of joke?!

Her statements grew to a yell. “I mean we ALL know this is b.s.at this point. The fact that you are getting this award over people who actually bust their tail… You’re a terrible person and teacher! You need help!” 

What started as a murmur of whispers transformed to a seemingly roar of agreement and laughter.

They had probably set this up. 

I heard a whirlwind of comments. 

“She always yells.”  “I hate working with her.” “She’s ALWAYS lying!” 

BITCHES!!! 

THEY’RE JEALOUS!

I HATE THEM! 

I glanced at my family. My parents looked shocked. Cade seemed at a loss for words, and Sarah was giving me that same ugly look. I was so furious. I stormed off the stage, but not before I gave Mrs. Reynolds a huge middle finger! I have spent years holding my head up high, but she had pushed me to the edge at this point. 

WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HER IT WON'T BE PRETTY!

As I flung open the doors, the cold wind stung at my face. I wasn’t going to cry. My sister and husband came after me. My sister looked at me as though she was trying to choose her words carefully. 

“Emily, maybe... maybe this is a sign. Maybe you need to reevaluate what you want to do.” 

What the fuck did she know? 

She was cut off by my husband's stern stare. 

A tall figure stepped out, his face a mixture of emotions I couldn’t place.

It was David.

What an idiot. 

“Why are you out here?” I asked.

We all sat in silence.

Cade’s face twisted with a mixture of pain, hatred, and intense realization. He assumed I was cheating again. It’s not my fault David was obsessed with me. 

“Well, is no one going to say it?” Cade echoed Mrs. Reynolds words from earlier. 

I started laughing. 

"Are you fucking serious," Cade said hoarsely. " Just go. Both of you. I’m done with the cheating! With the lies! Get out of my life for good, cheater!”

He was being so dramatic. 

That’s how he is, always cursing and yelling. 

I’m scared of him honestly… I want to stick it out for my marriage but he runs. 

He runs like a mama’s boy coward!

That’s the only reason he thinks I left with David!

No one understands how hard it is to always be the strong one. I tried to explain that I hadn’t done anything wrong. This was just a bad time in my life but no one even cared enough to message me back. 

Why would he do this to me? 

Everyone told me to stick it out, but the world has been against me for far too long. This is my only way out. I hope you all look in the mirror and know that you all were the reason my light was taken from the world.

If only anyone would have just messaged me back…