Sarah's Recovery

Sarah’s Recovery

Sarah awoke to the left side of her face being very warm. The sun was in the right position in its morning ascent and its rays were blasting, full force through the window. She slid further to James’ side of the bed, but it didn’t help her escape its rays. 

           She reached over to the remote on her bedside table and pointed it at the ceiling fan to get it going. Its blades began to twitch and move ever so slowly until they picked up speed. She looked at the fan blades and commiserated with them. She had the same issues getting going herself most mornings nowadays. They finally began spinning at full speed, giving her the comfort she needed. 

           The sun was still relentless and, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead, she got up, swung her legs over the side, and crawled out of bed, tugging her nightgown into place over her hips as she stood up.

           She’d been getting up later and later lately. Subconsciously she didn’t seem to have much motivation to get her day going. She’d not been well for several months now, and though it was relatively recent, it seemed like it had been forever.

           She looked at James’ side of the bed. As always, it was tucked neatly into place. The sheet and blanket pulled all the way to the top, with his pillows stacked on top of each other at the headboard. She smiled and adjusted her side of the bed accordingly to match.

           She stretched, yawned, and ran her fingers through her morning hair as she ambled into the ensuite to use the restroom and get ready for her day.

           When she came downstairs, the house was empty. She woke up to everyone being gone. She went to check on the kid’s rooms. Ricky, her fifteen-year-old had an immaculate room. Just like his father, his bed was made, the carpet vacuumed, and everything neatly arranged on his desk. He really was a low-maintenance teenager. She looked at the stack of books on his shelf. He’d just picked up three new books, one sci-fi, a classic detective novel, and a true crime. They were lying on their backs, neatly stacked on top of each other, in the order that he planned to read them with the sci-fi on the top of the stack. After he reads them, he’ll add them to his shelf, upright, and categorized, of course. 

           Jenny, their thirteen-year-old was another matter altogether. Sarah peeked into her room, and as expected, it was a mess. The sheet and blanket kicked to a pile at the end of the bed. One pillow on the floor and the other in the middle of the bed. Her Disney collection of plushies was scattered across the room. 

           Unlike her brother, the only books that Jenny read were school textbooks. What she didn’t collect in books, she made up for in video game cartridges, which were likewise scattered ‘hither and thither’ as her father would say. 

           She thought about just cleaning and organizing her room. Or, at the very least, doing some dusting, but that would let Jenny off the hook, and she’d never learn to do things for herself if she did.

           She went downstairs. There were no dirty dishes anywhere. No evidence that the three of them had eaten anything in the morning.  Every so often, when running late, James would toss the kids in the car and hit a drive-through on the way to school and work.

 She almost wished that there were dishes to wash, that would be cathartic. She went to the pantry and checked the cereal boxes. James liked his raisin bran; Jenny her super sugar crunches and Ricky would eat whatever was in there. She took the boxes and shook them; they were still mostly full. She checked the fridge and found that the milk was also still full.

           She never cared for cereal herself. She’d tried to get her family off it, claiming health benefits, but in the end, they won out. “Time constraints over quality” they would say as getting ready for work and school was always a race against time. “We’ll do bacon on the weekends” they’d promised her, and most times, they did. Even cooking for her every so often.

           Then they would eat, and James would load them into the car and drop them off at their schools on his way to work.  

           Bacon, that sounded wonderful. She peeked into the meat drawer in the fridge and took hold of the pack of hickory smoked thick-cut bacon. The container of eggs not far away. She suddenly felt exhausted at the thought of cooking and put it back in the drawer and closed the fridge.

           She sat down at a barstool on the island, took an apple out of the fruit bowl, and munched that instead. 

           She felt a vibration in her robe pocket. Her phone! She keeps it on silent most all the time now.  She just didn’t want to be bothered with the phone. The problem was, was that she hardly felt it vibrate when it was in her pocket. She pulled the phone out and saw seven text messages from Melissa. She smiled, sighed, and swiped the screen up, unlocking it and opening the messages app. 

           ‘Hey, Sarah. I just wanted to let U know that I’m thinking of U’

           Sarah never understood why Melissa texted like that. Partial abbreviations. Either go for it fully, or not at all. There were more.

           ‘U ok?’ 

           ‘I called’

           ‘Let me know if U need anything.’

           ‘Love U’

           ‘I know U haven’t been feeling well but let me get U out of the house!!!’

           ‘Brunch today, 10am, my treat. I’ll pick U up. Not taking no, be ready!’

           She held the phone up and looked at the time. It was 8:42am. She sighed again, she’d been doing that a lot lately, and then she smiled. Melissa was a good friend. Sarah had been there for her when she miscarried her and her husband’s second child. It drew them close together, like sisters. Sarah knew that Melissa was just doing her part for her needs now. Sarah had been feeling very bad and hadn’t really been out of the house for a long time now. Brunch sounded great.

           She had just enough time to finally get that laundry she’d been putting off. Especially because of Jenny’s jeans. She always wore them to her soccer practice because she hated her soccer pants. The result was grass stains ground into her knees that needed pretreatment just to lighten them a bit. She pulled Jenny’s favorite pair out of the hamper. As she expected, they were horrible. She should just throw them away and get her a new pair, but these were her favorite, and she’d be devastated if they were gone. She sprayed it with a soil release and tossed it into the washing machine. She loaded the rest of the clothes and got the cycle going.

           She ironed a few of James’ shirts and hung them on wooden hangers. No wire ones for her family. She also ironed a pair of his slacks, taking the time to get a perfect crease down the front of the legs, just as he liked. 

           She touched up the guest restroom and then got herself ready to go. Her jeans and top were a little loose. A medium was a little too big for her now. She knew that she’d lost some weight these past few months because of… because, but didn’t realize just how much. She had been in lounge pants and a robe most of the time these days, so she hadn’t noticed her clothes getting big. She pulled a belt off a hook and strung it through the belt loops in her jeans. That tightened it up a bit.

           Her cell phone vibrated again, and she looked at it to see Melissa’s message. ‘In the driveway’

           She walked out of the house and raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. She then rummaged through her purse until her fingers found their target, her sunglasses. She pulled them out and put them on. She jumped into the passenger seat and pulled the seatbelt over her. 

           Melissa turned to her and smiled. “You’re looking better,” she said.

           Sarah laughed. “You’re a terrible liar,” she said.

           “I am!” Melissa agreed.

           Melissa backed out of the driveway slowly and saw Sarah tense up a bit. She took the bump from her driveway to the street slowly so as not to jostle her. She also picked a route that had less traffic and though it would take them a bit longer to get to the restaurant, it would be okay.

The pancake house was not too busy this time of day. The breakfast crowd had come and gone, and lunchtime was still a bit of a way off. Plus, this was a weekday and that also meant fewer patrons. 

           The waitress brought their meals. Melissa had a three-stack with strawberry compote, whipped cream, and butter pecan syrup. No matter how much Sarah tried, she just couldn’t make her friend see the need to make better food choices. Sarah had a single multi-grain pancake with salt-free butter and sugar-free syrup, two scrambled eggs, soft, of course, and bacon. (bacon was her one indulgence)

           They ate a few bites in silence and finally Melissa, after swallowing a mouthful of pancake goodness and wiping the whipped cream evidence off her lip, hovered her fork over her plate a few seconds. “How have you been feeling, really?” she asked.

           “About the same. Getting a little bit better. Some days are easier than others.”

           “More good days than bad days yet?”

           “About equal.”

           “That’s progress,” Melissa said encouragingly.

           Sarah smiled. “I am learning to cope with this.”

           “What has your doctor said?”

           “I haven’t gone to her in a few weeks. It was the same thing repeatedly.” She waited to hear Melissa’s rebuke, but it never came.

           “Have you thought about getting a part-time job, you know, just to get you out of the house?”

           Sarah shrugged her shoulders. “In nineteen years of marriage, I’ve never needed to work. James has always been such a good provider. I’ve been able to be home for the kids their entire life, which is what we wanted.”

           Melissa smiled and internally wanted to encourage her to try and find one anyway, as things in Sarah’s life are different now. She put another forkful of pancake in her mouth instead. After a while, she swallowed and turned to Sarah. “I just think that it might help you feel better. Get out of the routine and have something for yourself.”

           Sarah smiled a sad smile. “I’ve thought about it. I am feeling better, but I just don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

           Melissa reached over and took her hand. They held on to each other for a while. 

Sarah was dropped off back home early afternoon. It was still about an hour and a half before the family normally would come home. She liked to have dinner ready for them, so she got to work as soon as she got in. 

           She peeled some potatoes and put them to boil and then she fried a chicken. The freezer had several bags of vegetables and she dug through it until she found some broccoli. It was a favorite with the family. She would have to prepare some cheese sauce for it. 

           After the chicken had been fried, she took out some flour and seasonings and used the grease that dripped from the chicken that collected under the cooling rack, along with milk to make some gravy. She then mashed the potatoes and after everything was in place, she carried it all to the table. 

           She set out four place settings, around the table as they always sat and ate there. She put the food courses in the middle, accessible to everyone no matter where they were seated.  She looked at the clock on the dining room wall. They would normally be here within fifteen minutes. She made it just in time, the food would still be hot. 

           She sat and waited, sipping water. The hour came and then five minutes passed, and then fifteen. 

           “Ambiance, that will go a long way,” she said aloud to herself. She got up from the table and walked over to the fireplace in the living room. She placed a few logs into the hearth and lit a starter. It would take a few minutes for it to begin burning. She looked up to the mantle and ran her finger along the three urns that had been placed there four months ago. James’s was grey stone. Ricky’s was blue wood and Jenny’s was pink ceramic. They perfectly suited each of their personalities. 

           It was the worst night of her life when she got the call. James had picked the kids of up from science club and soccer practice after school. They were on the freeway when a cement truck veered into their lane, forcing them into the guardrail…

           After veering, the cement truck driver overcorrected lost control, and plowed into them, crushing them against the barrier wall. He had been on his phone texting his girlfriend at the time. 

           Sarah buried her face in her hands, hot tears freely flowing between heavy sobs. She regained herself a few minutes later and looked at the dining room table. 

           She grabbed her phone and quickly sent out a text. ‘Would you and Frank like to come over for fried chicken? It’s ready.’

           A few seconds later Melissa replied. ‘We’ll be over in 5.’      

           Sarah tucked the phone back into her pocket and thought that maybe after dinner, Melissa could help her apply for a few jobs.