The Color On The Other Side Of The Fence

Mary gets in her car, she slumps over the steering wheel and begins sobbing uncontrollably. How could Ian be gone? He had just been here two days ago. Mary’s mind flashed back to two days ago when she was in bed waking up to her husband kissing her forehead. Ian put his arm around Mary’s waist and whispered in her ear, “Wake up, honey. I gotta go to work.” Mary sat up in bed and Ian handed her a cup of coffee. “I gotta go but I wanted to say good morning and give you a kiss before I left.” said Ian. He kissed her softly and got up to leave. “Good luck on your closing argument!” he shouted over his shoulder as he walked out the door. That was last time Mary would ever see her husband, Ian would be killed in a car accident on his way to work that morning. Mary was devastated, she could barely hold it together inside long enough to plan her husband’s funeral. Now that she was alone all Mary could do was cry. She sat there leaning over the steering wheel crying for several more minutes.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity Mary sat up and whispered to herself, “Get it together, Mary, Ian would be disappointed in you wailing like a baby right now.” Mary rolled down the window and inhaled the cool November air. She felt miserable and angry, but the cold air on her red hot face stung her into the moment. Mary started the car and backed out of her space. She exited the parking lot and pulled up to the intersection. As Mary waited for the stoplight to turn green she noticed a homeless woman on the street corner. The woman was short and overweight. She had dark black skin, short frizzy hair, and was wearing dirty tattered clothing. The woman was holding up a cardboard sign that read “Homeless and hungry. Anything Helps.” Still lost in her own head Mary didn’t realize she was starting at this homeless woman. This prolonged eye contact in the woman’s direction prompted her to approach Mary’s car. Noticing the woman stepping off the curb towards her car Mary started rolling up her window. She was in no mood to deal with bums Mary thought.

To Mary’s dismay rolling up her window did not detour the homeless woman. She proceeded to knock on Mary’s car window and hold up her sign as she asked, “Can you help?” Fortunately, Mary didn’t need to respond because just then a nearby police officer intervened and directed the woman away from her car. Mary could hear the officer through the window saying, “You can’t be blocking traffic here. Go find some other street corner to harass people on.” The officer then turned around and addressed Mary, “Sorry about that, mam. You have a nice day.” he said before walking away. Still feeling bitter and angry, Mary muttered to herself “Get a job, you filthy hobo.” lashing out as she drove away.

Ten minutes later Mary arrived home. Emotionally exhausted from grieving her husband and the ordeal of planning his funeral, she collapsed onto her couch. A single tear ran down Mary’s cheek before she passed out almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Mary woke several hours later. Still half asleep she looked at the clock on the wall, it read 10:33. Feeling uncertain whether it was 10:33 at night or in the morning, she got up and made her way to the window. Mary pulled back the curtains and looked out into the starry night sky, at that moment she couldn’t help but think of Ian. She always believed that the stars were the souls of lost loved ones watching over us. She sunk down into the window seat and began to cry. Why did this have to happen to me, thought Mary. She wished that she could be someone else, to have another life that wasn’t stricken with this tragedy. Mary was so bitter and angry in that moment that she believed anyone else’s life was better than hers. Just then through her teary-eyed vision Mary noticed a shooting star passing through the sky. Mary closed her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks as she whispered, “I wish for another life.” She opened her eyes to see the star she had wished on gone from the sky. Feeling hopeless she laid down on her side in the window seat and continued to weep. Mary laid there crying until she had no more tears left to shed, instead she just laid there in the utter silence of her sadness.

               Feeling wiped out and emotionally drained, Mary finally got up from the window around midnight and went up the stairs to her room. Too depressed for anything else, Mary just threw on her pajamas and climbed into bed, she didn’t even bother with her usual nightly hygiene routine. She laid there next to the empty space where her husband usually slept. Lying alone in the bed they used to share cut so deep tears started welling up in her eyes again. Thoughts of Mary’s wish for another life to escape her pain returned. She laid there aching for her wish to come true and letting the tears soak her pillow until she fell asleep.

               The next morning Mary was awoken to a frigid chill. Without opening her eyes she pulled the blankets tighter around her but continued to shiver. That’s when she noticed something unusual about her surroundings. Mary could hear the chirping of birds and rustling of trees around her. More unusual though she no longer felt the comfort of her bed beneath her, instead it was hard and bumpy like the ground. Confused by her unusual surroundings Mary opened her eyes and sat up. She could tell very clearly that she was inside a tent, but how did she get there Mary wondered anxiously. Was she drinking last night? Did someone drug and abduct her? Just then Mary realized she could hear nearby voices. She climbed out of the tent in a haste and quickly followed the voices. Mary finally spotted two young women on a path several yards from where the tent was hidden. “Help me. Please help me.” she cried from the edge of the path. The two women turned around, but as soon as they caught sight of Mary they took off running. “Wait! Please help me!” cried Mary as she reached her hands out in front her and raced a few steps after the women. She stopped suddenly in her tracks when she realized the hands stretched out in front of her weren’t her own.

               Mary’s once pale skin was now an unrecognizable shade of dark brown. She rubbed her forearm thinking it must be make up, but it didn’t come off. “What the hell is going on?” she muttered to herself. Mary began to take inventory of the rest of her appearance. Looking down she noticed that her clothing was ripped and stained, and she had a muffin top where her flat stomach used to be. Mary reached up and touched her face. Her lips were bigger, her nose wider, and her eyes further apart. She moved her hands further up her head, in place of her usually long mane she felt a short unkempt mop of hair. Mary had transformed into completely different person. She was reminded of the night before when she had wished on a shooting star for another life, her wish must’ve come true she thought. Remembering the tent she woke up in and the dirty ripped clothing she was wearing Mary realized the life she was given was that of a homeless woman. This was not what she wanted, thought Mary, she wanted a better life. One where she didn’t have to grieve her husband. Now on top of still grieving her husband, she was homeless and alone.

               I need to get back to my house Mary thought. Maybe if she could find her old body she could figure out how to get her life back. At this point Mary recognized she was on a trail at one of the local parks in her city, so she started making her way back towards her home. To get to Mary’s house from the park she had to travel through downtown. She felt so insecure in her new body, knowing that she was overweight and unclean looking. To make matters worse people kept staring at her and giving her sideways looks. Mary was so distracted by her own insecurities she almost didn’t notice her own reflection in a store window she was passing. Mary recognized right away who reflection staring back at her belonged to. It was that of the woman she’d seen panhandling yesterday. Mary suddenly had a terrifying realization, if she failed to return to her body she would spend the rest of her life as this woman subjected to the harshness of society. Fearful of this potential reality Mary took off running towards her home in hopes that she would find the answer to getting her life back.

               Mary arrived at her house a short ten minutes later, but from the outside it looked different. There was a tire swing hanging from a tree in the front yard, and her Lexus normally parked in the driveway was replaced by a dodge minivan. Despite appearances Mary still held out hope that her body was inside, until a family of five came parading out of the house towards the minivan. Mary didn’t recognize any of them. She began to cry, she felt as though she’d lost all hope of getting her life back. Only a few tears managed to run down Mary’s cheeks before the father of the family she was watching noticed her standing there. He puffed up his chest in a territorial sort of way and started walking in her direction as he shouted, “Hey, what are you doing here?” Scared and unsure how to explain her presence there Mary took off running. She continued running until she hit downtown before stopping to catch her breath.

               Mary sat down on the sidewalk curb to rest while she figured out her next move. She didn’t know what to do or where to go now. She had no idea how to get her old life back and she knew nothing about this new life on the streets. Mary sat there with her head in her hands trying to figure out what to do for several minutes before her stomach started to growl. She had no way of knowing what time it was or when this body was last nourished with food, and the longer she sat there the more her hunger began to gnaw at her. Mary started looking through the pockets of her clothing for food or money to purchase food. All she could find was the sign the woman had been holding the day before when she was panhandling.

               Feeling as if she had no other options, Mary got up and walked two blocks down the street to a corner where she’d seen people panhandling many times before. Feeling ashamed, she held up the sign and began to wait in hopes someone would help her get fed. Mary stood on that street corner for several hours. It was the worst experience of her life, worse than losing her husband. She was starving, freezing, and humiliated. To make matters worse the people were so cruel to her. They threw pennies at her, called her derogatory and racist names, flipped her off, and shouted at her to get a job.  Mary felt she deserved the treatment she was getting after having made a similar comment about the woman the day before. It wasn’t until nearly sunset before a kind man pulled over for a moment to hand her a bag full of food from a nearby McDonalds. Mary thanked the man repeatedly for his help before he drove off. Feeling ravished Mary wanted to dig into the food right away, but she was too insecure to eat in such a public and open space. Mary walked a block down the road and around to the back of a nearby building. She sat down on the ground up against the building and began to feast on her hot meal.

After downing two cheeseburgers and a medium fry Mary was feeling full and sleepy. Unsure where else to rest her head for the night, she decided to head back to the tent she had woken up in. Mary put the last cheeseburger in her pocket and set off toward the park. It took Mary about ten minutes to reach the park, but when she made her way down the trail and off into the trees she discovered the tent she had woken up in was gone. Someone must have stolen it or disposed of it, she thought, kicking herself for not thinking to pack it up when she had left. Having nowhere to sleep for the night Mary decided to head back to town.

Mary had seen homeless people sleeping on the southwest end of downtown before so she thought that would be a safe place to go. When she arrived there were already a few other people there perched up against the building. An older white man with a sunken in face who appeared to be half passed out on drugs, a middle-aged white couple huddled up together, and several other people down the street that she couldn’t make out. Mary sat on the ground against the building several feet from the other people. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her body. She wanted to sleep but she was too scared and too cold. An hour or two passed before two police cars pulled up to the curb where she was sitting. Three fair skinned officers got out and started walking up and down the sidewalk telling people that they couldn’t sleep here, that it was a public sidewalk. Never having been homeless before Mary naively tapped on an officer’s shoulder and asked “Where can I sleep?” Before she could even finish her question the officer grabbed her arm and threw her down to the ground on her stomach. He twisted Mary’s arms behind her back and put cuffs around her wrists, as he informed her that she was under arrest and recited her Miranda rights. Mary asked, “What did I do?” and the officer responded, “Sleeping on a public sidewalk is illegal. You’re under arrest.” The officer pulled Mary to her feet and put her in the back of his cop car. She watched as the officer finished disbanding the group of people, Mary suddenly felt singled out for the color of her skin because she was the only one being arrested.

Finally, the officer got back into the car. He drove down to the police station and pulled Mary out of the car. He escorted Mary inside the building and fingerprinted her before placing her in a holding cell with several other people. Mary found an empty seat in the corner and sat down. She leaned her head against the wall behind her and let a single tear roll down her cheek before closing her eyes. Mary was so exhausted from everything that happened that day she fell asleep right there, sitting straight up and unbothered by the other people sharing the cell.

Mary awoke the next day back in her bed and back in her body. She couldn’t be certain if the events of the day before were real or just a dream, nevertheless she was happy to have her life back. Mary got down on her knees and started to pray, “God, thank you for this beautiful blessed life you have given me. The time you gave me with my husband was such a gift, and I’ve been selfish for being angry that you took him too soon. You’ve blessed me with prosperity and advantage and I’ve taken it for granted. Please forgive me and teach me how to change for the better. Amen.” she said before getting off the floor and hurriedly getting dressed.

Mary drove to the police station she had been at the night before and spoke to the officer at the front desk. “There was a black woman arrested last night for sleeping on the sidewalk. I don’t know her name but I’m here to bail her out.” she informed the officer. The officer knew immediately who Mary was referring to, “Ah, yes. Louis. Let me just process the paperwork.” he said. After paying the $500 bail and completing the paperwork Louis was released and entered the lobby where Mary had been waiting. Louis had already been informed by the officer that Mary paid for her bail and she didn’t understand why a perfect stranger would do that. “Why are you helping me?” she asked Mary. Mary’s answer was simple, “I know that you’ve suffered an injustice, and you deserve to have someone on your side.” Louis began to cry tears of gratitude as Mary continued on, “I’m not just bailing you out, I’m a lawyer and I would like to defend your case. I’d also like to invite you to stay with me until you can get on your feet. Would you like that?” Louis nodded her head and continued to cry as she managed to utter the words “Thank you.” The two women returned to Mary’s house to begin their new friendship. In the following months Mary helps Louis build a new life for herself and fight for the justice she deserves. In turn Mary’s experience in Louis’s shoes and their friendship, helps her move pass the loss of her husband and gain new purpose in her work advocating for equal rights among races.