Susie

Take out the bread, then the peanut butter, and last the jam. Spread and swirl the two together and bam—an Amanda-Banana sandwich.

Amanda may have only been seven, but she’d been making Amanda-Banana sandwiches for her and her sister for as long as she could remember.

Every day, before the sun woke Mommy and Daddy, Amanda and her twin would sneak into the kitchen and feast.

Amanda would take her sandwich and Susie their special milk. Then, under the table, they would share the dreams they had the night before. Ever since their favorite books were banned, the two relied on each other to keep their imaginations alive—never knowing how dangerous it was.

This morning was different. Just as Susie was telling Amanda about the giants climbing the towers, a green light started scanning the room. Mommy and Daddy frantically called their names, and Amanda instinctively put her hand on Susie’s mouth. The two sat curled into each other’s arms, not moving, just as Mommy and Daddy had taught them.

It didn’t work.

Next came the banging at the door.

Amanda and Susie heard scuffled footsteps as Mommy and Daddy rushed to answer it. Mommy took a deep breath slowly swallowing to bury her sobs the twins copied hoping it was enough. Then the door opened, and new feet appeared.

Amanda and Susie heard their parents saying “no,” like the new feet were in trouble. However, the twins knew it was they who were in trouble, as the tablecloth lifted and a woman with smudged lips grabbed each of their arms. Mommy and Daddy walked silently toward their bedroom as Amanda and Susie were pulled through the front door.

Amanda and Susie were put in a van. Although dark, they could hear the sniffles of other children—other rule-breakers like themselves. Mommy and Daddy had always told the girls that imagination wasn’t real, and yet the consequences of their stories showed them otherwise.

The sun started to wake up as the van slowly climbed the hill. The twins had seen this building before, on walks with mommy. One time the twins stopped and stared at the building imagining what was inside. Mommy caught them and told them instantly look at their shoes as she led them past . As the memory swirled around their head as if Mommy were there now, the girls refused to look at the building their eyes fixated on Amanda's shoes.

The children were taken out of the van one by one, and for the first time in Amanda’s entire life, she was alone and scared. The silence louder than her heart beat Amanda waited still managing to swallow her tears.

When it was Amanda’s turn, she didn’t look at the hand that firmly held hers. She looked at the shoes of the man. One of his laces was almost untied. Amanda imagined it wiggling looser and looser, and just as the lace hit the floor, she was placed in a seat in a room where the door disappeared as the man with the untied shoe left her there.

Amanda bit her bottom lip with the top of her mouth. and tasted the last reminder of Susie’s final moment under the table. Trying not to cry, her eyes became heavy, and—in another first of Amanda’s life—she entered a completely dark and black dream world to look for Susie.

Amanda outstretched her arms, hoping to feel something familiar in this new dream. The vastness broke Amanda’s heart as she felt a light touch on her shoulder. Hoping this was just an adventure to tell Susie, she opened her eyes to let the light of disappointment in.

It was the lady with the smudged lips, trying to smile but failing to comfort.

The woman told Amanda her name was Dr. Gene. Amanda just sat and stared at the wall, hoping it would take the doctor away like it had the door. Noticing where Amanda’s eyes were focused, Dr. Gene knelt down to get in her vision and told her she was special. Amanda was using a part of her brain that had been lost to humans a long time ago. Dr. Gene said she was going to take her to her bedroom.

Amanda didn’t say a word. All she wanted was Susie.

Amanda was led into a room much like the one she left, except where the chair had been, a bed now stood. As the door turned into the wall, Amanda looked around the strange room. In a small closet hung the same dress she had on, in different colors. A small table with one chair held a single plate and cup. The closet had the only color in the room, and so when Amanda laid on her lumpy bed, she faced the only color she could see—longing for her sister to rescue her from Dr. Gene.

The next day, a woman in grey brought her breakfast. Amanda was starving; she had only eaten her and Susie’s milk and sandwich. As if betraying that memory, she dove into her breakfast. The woman in grey giggled, and Amanda froze, then went to lie down. Maybe she wasn’t hungry after all.

Amanda was told to get dressed. She picked a blue dress because it was Susie’s favorite color. The woman in grey led Amanda to an indoor playground. The children from the van were there, and Amanda took a breath of relief as she smiled for the first time since yesterday. Weaving through the kids, Amanda took laps around the playground. All the children looked as lost and confused as Amanda. Where was Susie?

Then a loud bell rang through the space as people in grey came to collect each child.

Amanda ate dinner alone—another first in her new life. Every day was the same, except the children had started to talk. All except Amanda, who just quietly searched. The other kids gave up on her by the end of the week, leaving Amanda lost in her sadness, waiting for Susie to fix it.

Dr. Gene came to collect Amanda. Amanda hated these lessons. When the door would appear Amanda would clinch the edge of dress hiding the white knuckles this caused. With every lesson Amanda couldn't help but think:

Who cares if I have a brain that can see things that aren’t there?

Dr. Gene was patient when Amanda would get lost in thought. Then when her attention was returned, Dr. Gene would just kept explaining " a long time ago, imagination was thought to mean your brain was sick. So pills were invented, and soon no one had it. This was why Amanda and the others were special." Amanda didn’t understand Dr. Gene. She had told her this before. And now she even stopped asking for Susie.

That night, as Amanda laid in bed, she noticed a small crack of light coming from where the door usually disappeared. Then—like magic—Amanda heard Susie calling her name. In a brief moment, Amanda returned to herself. She slowly slid out of bed, climbed down, and opened the door to see Susie, dressed like her, waiting to take her hand.

The girls ran together, trying to find a door out. Banging on walls and looking for the finest crack of a door Amanda and Susie frantically looked on every wall in the hall. After all Amanda had been dreaming of this moment. Then a man in grey stopped them. He picked up Amanda, leaving Susie crying in the hallway. He placed Amanda in a bed, strapped her to the table, and left her alone.

Moments later, Dr. Gene rushed into the room, followed by Mommy and Daddy. Amanda started to shiver; her little body wasn’t meant to be on such an adult table. Dr. Gene smiled the smile Amanda hated—only this time, when she talked, Amanda listened for the first time. Seeing Susie had given her strength, but not enough to keep her from crying softly.

“Amanda, do you know why your Mommy and Daddy called me?”

Amanda, betrayed, looked directly at her parents—who, in turn, couldn’t look at her.

Dr. Gene continued. “You see, when you first started talking about Susie, your mommy thought she was a friend at school.” Amanda wondered why Dr. Gene would be so mean, just like the kids in her class, always making her and Susie be by themselves.

Dr. Gene continued. “When Mrs. Greene asked why your twin didn’t come to school, she knew you were something long forgotten. Because Amanda… Susie isn’t real. She never has been. You made her up last week after hitting your head. We weren’t sure at first, so when you hid under the table in a curled ball, your mom did a brain scan—and then we were certain.”

Amanda wasn’t sad. She was angry.

She yelled, “What about the other kids, then, if I’m so special?!”

Dr. Gene and Amanda’s parents looked confused. Then Dr. Gene sounded scarier than ever when she said:

“What other children, Amanda? You’re the only child here.”

Amanda was soon placed back in her room. She fought the urge to sleep, but it was a battle that sleep medicine would never let her win.

Amanda woke up to the sound of Susie in the kitchen. With sleep in her eyes, she ran to her sister and hugged her. Susie looked baffled. Amanda looked in her eyes, and together they hid under the table.

Amanda looked Susie in the eyes and asked, “Are you real?”

Susie smiled. “Kinda… but only when I’m with you.”

That was the moment when Amanda decided she wasn’t going to open her eyes again.