Please Forgive Me

“Please forgive me” I beg and beg. “Please forgive me. I know I have done you wrong and that I have treated you poorly and that I should've done you better. I should've listened to you when you were speaking, "I say. “Please forgive me” I begged again. “Please forgive, I know I haven't been the best to you and i didn't give you what you needed. I'm sorry I didn't think it out when I was breaking up with you. Please forgive me,” I beg yet once again. I continue to beg and beg and say “It hasn't been easy to get over you. I know you are in a relationship and have moved on. But I haven't. I really haven't. I really need to get over you but I can't. There is a part of me that is holding on. I need you to believe me on this. I haven't gotten you off of my mind recently. Everything that we did together and every memory we made is stuck in my head. Our first kiss, our first hug, our first time seeing each other after summer break, our first time saying i love you, the time we first started dating. I can't get those memories out of my head. Please forgive me.” I continue, “Please forgive me, I can change, I can improve, we can improve with each other. I know you said we can improve with each other while we were breaking up but I wasn't thinking about it at the time. I need you now and I thought I didn’t need you then. I really did need you. I need you to want me back. I need you to miss me. Cause I miss you so much and I want you to miss me. Please forgive me.” I say once again “I want you to want me, I want you to need me, I want you to miss me. I want you to do and need all the things I need from you. I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I need you to come back. I need you to think of me and see that you regret everything that has happened after we broke up. I need you to realize that even though I left you were still in the wrong. That you still needed me at the time and that no matter how hard you try and leave and not think about me I will still be there so please forgive me” I ramble on “Please forgive me." I say once again “I really miss what we were. I really need you to really think where i went wrong and accept my apologies. I apologized so many times and you never accepted. I need to be honest with you. I need you and I need you to need me. I want you back. I want everything back. I really want you back. all the memories we have replay in my head and i need you to forgive me. take me back please forgive me” i restate “i need you to listen, please forgive me. I've given you things on how I can improve myself and how we can work together and improve. How can we improve and grow together? I want you so bad it hurts. I need you to come back. I feel so empty without you. I grieve you even when you are alive. I grieve for the missing puzzle piece that I had. I lost the only boy I wanted. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know what his past was like and what his future plans were. Oh wait, I knew what his future plans were. They were with me. Me and him, living in a house, married and are happy. Us married. That's all I wanted. He was the only boy I truly wanted to marry. The only person I have dated that genuinely thought about marriage with. The only person I thought about having kids with. The only boy I wanted to marry. He's the only boy who I wanted to be with. He still is the only guy I want to be with. I know I can't be with him though. I want to be with him so badly though. He's the only person I thought about finishing high school with and going on with our lives together. together. me and him. together. I want that back. I want him and I together again. We were a good couple, some would say perfect. We had our times where we weren’t the healthiest but we also had our time where we were the most perfect couple out there in high school. I want that back. I want a time where we were called a good couple and no one had problems with anything. when there was no drama between him and me. no drama between anyone. nothing in me and his way. nothing that was stopping us from being a couple. nothing was in our way. Then school ended and everything went downhill. Yes, we hung out a bit more. But then I went on a vacation and everything went wrong. I barely texted him. I never thought about him and it just wasn’t something I was thinking about. but as soon as i got home. we called. and that was the best thing. hearing his voice and talking to him. but when i did talk to him it didn’t feel the same at the time. it felt like he didn’t care. like i didn’t care. when I truly did. I truly did care. and then I left him 3 days later. and i never got to see him again. never got to talk to him. never got to call him names. i never got to hear the words ‘i love you’ again i want to go back and say ‘please forgive me’” i babble on and on “please forgive me. for all the things I did wrong. for every mistake I made. for everything that made you annoyed. for not being there for you. for sleeping when you were talking to me. for being too loud and obnoxious. for doing all of the things I did wrong. for thinking I was good enough for you. for thinking I was capable of loving someone who deserves the whole world. for thinking that someone you used to love would be in your life forever. I knew from the beginning I was going to leave. I knew I would never get you back. I knew all of this would happen but now all I ask is for you to please forgive me. forgive me for my mistakes, for me being weak, for me not being able to meet your expectations and standards for not being the person you wanted me to be. for not doing the things you wanted me to do. for not showing you love and affection for every little thing that I did wrong. Please forgive me” I continue to say over again “I will do anything to get you back. I will wait. I will do anything. I'll pay you. I'll give you anything you want just so I can get you back. Please just forgive me and take me back. I need you in my life. I want you to come back. So please forgive me. Please, please please forgive me. That's all i need is for you to forgive me and say ‘i love you’ just one last time i need to hear those words. ‘I love you’ I need those words out of your mouth at least one more time. You saying that while you’re hugging me is all I need right now. Nothing more nothing less. Just a hug and an ‘I love you’ is all I need. Please forgive me.” I begged for the last time.