Mile-High Summer Berry Pie

RECIPE NO. 100

MILE-HIGH SUMMER BERRY PIE

INGRIDIENTS:

For the crust (the beauty you first see)

1 and ¾ cups all-purpose flour (Anything you want me to be by the hour)

1 tablespoon granulated sugar (The sweet that you are)

½ tablespoon salt (‘Cause your flavor brings me to a jolt)

12 tablespoons unsalted butter (‘Cause in your arms, I flutter)

1 tablespoon vodka (Drunk in your venomous saga)

⅓ cup ice water (Your cold heart so cruel, yet so tender)

For the filling (the beauty you savour)

2 and ½ pounds mixed blueberries, raspberries and blackberries (Because I am your dearest Mrs. Berry)

¾ cup granulated sugar (So close, yet so far)

⅓ cup cornstarch (‘Cause in the aisle, I march)

½ teaspoon salt (Yet in our house, you assault)

2 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice (Because when life throws you lemons . . . you could only make

something good out of it. Nothing else).

For the toppings (the beauty that covers it all)

1 and ½ cups heavy cream (Heavy like his hand on a whim)

⅓ cup confectioners sugar (Sweet claws like a cougar)

½ cup sour cream (Gone was the gleam and yet I fake the beam)

DIRECTIONS:

1.) Make the crust.

Pulse the flour (your heart), granulated sugar (your care) and salt (your good graces) in a food processor (if you don’t have any food processor, just use a manipulation machine).

Add about one-third of the butter (smooth like your words); process until incorporated. Pulse in the remaining butter until coarse crumbs form, 5 or 6 pulses. (Pulses in bed, pulses inside me,pulses of my heart as I talk to you so fearfully).

Add the vodka (Because won’t my darling husband want some drink after a tough day at work?) then pour in the ice water, pulsing quickly as you pour. (Quickly, quickly, like the thoughts running through my mind).

Pinch the dough; it should just hold together. (I wish you held me even once). If it’s too crumbly, quickly pulse in up to 2 more tablespoons of ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time. (One thought at a

time, one step at a time. The plan will work. It will).

Turn out the dough onto a large sheet of plastic wrap. Wrap the dough (like how I wrapped the rope around your neck), then flatten into a disk. Refrigerate at least 1 hour or up to overnight (the night was as deaf as me, a stranger to your pleas).

2.) On a lightly floured surface (the kitchen floor I so lovingly and fearfully clean for you every day), roll out the dough to a 12-inch round (you were heavy like your hands. Heavy like my heart. Heavy like the world). Ease into a 9-inch pie plate. Trim the excess dough (there was no fixing you) leaving a 1/2-inch overhang (Would I have been happier if I hung you instead?) Fold in the edges and crimp (The tarpaulin around your body felt freeing). Refrigerate the crust for at least 30 minutes (May you rot in the freezer).

3.) Preheat the oven to 425˚ F (Swarmed with the memories of your warm, aching love). Bake until the edges of the crust are just golden and beginning to pull away from the sides of the pan (how could you go away after just unveiling me?), about 20 minutes. Transfer to a rack to cool completely (I was burning with you. Burning, burning, endlessly burning).

4.) Make the filling.

Mash 1 cup of the berries in a small bowl with a large fork (I, your Mrs. Berry, mashed with your large, unforgiving hands as you come home from work a while ago). Place the remaining berries in a large bowl and set aside (What remains of me but traces of my blood in your house?)

Whisk together the granulated sugar, cornstarch and salt in a medium saucepan (my sorrows, my sadness, my longing, for an alternative, if you don’t have some anymore). Whisk in the water until smooth, then stir in the mashed berries.

Place the pan over medium heat and cook, whisking constantly (to forget you were even at the living room; to forget about your existence at all) until the mixture begins to bubble and thicken (like my anger, my rage), the cornstarch becomes opaque and the sauce turns a deep berry color (the color of you I wished to have in my hands,) 3 to 5 minutes.

Remove from the heat and stir in the lemon juice (“Do you like the lemon juice I made you, Hon?”). Strain the liquid through a fine-mesh sieve over the bowl of whole berries (“It’s a little bland. What the fuck did you put in here again?”), fold the liquid and the berries together with a rubber spatula to evenly coat (“I’m sorry, love. Would you like me to make you another one?”). Spoon the berry filling into the cooled pie crust in an even layer. Refrigerate until set, at least 1 hour (“Not until you fix that face of yours, no. Get that nasty bruise off that fucking thing.”)

5.) Make the topping:

Beat the heavy cream and confectioners’ sugar (Beat. Beat. Beat.) in a large bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form (the peak of my fantasies about my Mr. Berry), about 3 minutes.

Add the sour cream and beat until stiff again, about 2 more minutes (Or 2 more hours, and these hands would never know redemption).

Mound the whipped cream (never know redemption, never know it at all) on top of the pie (So I put on a smile. put my hair up perfectly, and be the wife he wants me to be). Use the back of a spoon to make swoops and peaks (Because I could only be swept of my feet, never swept of from his arms).

Slice and serve (What I wanted to do to you, Mr. Berry, but I could never. I would never), or refrigerate for up to 1 day (I’d rather stay with your cold, tender heart. I’ll let the fantasies stay in the freezer. I’ll devour it again tomorrow; hopefully it remains fresh still).